I look after my children fine most of the time while my boyfriend is at work during the day and when he comes home early evening he helps out. My boys are so amazing .. I have ultradian rapid cycling bipolar.If i get cranky or cry they comfort me,saying how much they love me and they hope my 'feelings' get better soon.When I'm hyper i'm the boys sometimes get a little coy around me. it hurts me to see the looks of uncertainty and sometimes anxiety upon their faces. they know to go play in their rooms together if they feel unsure. they accept that 'my feelings are broken' thats how they describe my mood swings. I do try and control the intensity of my moods . I find some days are better than others.
My boyfriend on the other hand is finding it hard to accept my disorder. All he knows is that he will leave for work and i will be myself for example but when he arrives home he is greeted by someone else and it frustrates us both because i can't try to explain things properly to him because he doesn't want to know about it. He is a great help with the children, but when I'm hyper he can get angry and overly critical towards me which makes me feel like a naughty child being told to 'calm it down'. It makes me feel like he is mocking me. If I'm depressed and crying ..he has often told me to snap out of it,or he will complain about my lack of motivation ie house work etc.
We are a really close family but it hurts when he refuses to be assosiated with my disorder.
I do okay with my children, but I have my husband's help. Sometimes they will be talking to me but I don't realize it. They will be saying "mommmy? Mommy? Mommy? MOMMY?" to ask a question. But for some reason I don't respond, I don't know why. Sometimes I snap at them if I'm irritable, and then I feel bad. But, those are the worst things I do, I think.
I think you need a different boyfriend. Drinking and being mean to you is bad enough, but he also doesn't work and his money is coming from where? Probably someone giving it to him, which means he relies on other people to take care of him. That means even if he lives with you he won't help with your kids. I mean, a stay at home dad for example is a good thing and I applaud that. But a man who just sits around not working and drinking, not taking care of himself and then he is mean to you on top of it? Sounds like too many red flags. I would be carefule of him, especially since you have your own problems.
See if the family members that help you can talk to your doctor. They can explain your situation adn maybe your family will understand better. but you have to give the doctor permission to talk to them.