Bipolar Disorder Community
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Mania and Hypersexuality

I had recently posted a question about Mania and Hypersexuality on here but no one really responded. Am i the only one who suffers with this symptom which i dont think that is true. Those who do suffer with this how are you able to control your urges. I keep myself locked up in my room just so i dont do anything stupid or crazy its like i become very promiscious and then i feel dirty afterward with full of regret. I hate men with a passon. the reason for this was explain in a previous post.  and this is around the time it really seems to get worst, and so is my migraines and all the other symptoms i have right now. The heat from the warm weather and my hot flashes isnt helping anything. do any of you have any suggestions?
64 Responses
Avatar universal
Do anybody else have these symptoms or do i have more problems than everyone else with this disorders.
503230 tn?1214036647
I have always had the compulsion to have sex when manic. A drive so strong it over rides any I have. I have also had issues with guilt, depression, and detachment. I want the sex but as soon as it happens I feel like ****. I am seeing many of the same traits in all of use. Their truly is a pattern to some of the behaviors. Sadly the cure is unique to each person.

That of course is a very simplified version of the problem...
Avatar universal
I also suffer from hypersexuality. I understand exactly what you are going through.
I am really struggling with learning how to cope with this. If you learn anything new let me know because I am about to go insane.....
Avatar universal
I will definetly let you know, but honestly let you know
Avatar universal
correction honestly this is crazy hypersexuality is no joke
Avatar universal
How do you deal with your urges ? I just really don't know what to do anymore.
It's not like my husband is with me all the time and I have sexual urges even when I am by myself....It is like a never ending circle.....HELP!!!!!!! LOL
Avatar universal
I stay in my house thats how i can control it somewhat.:) believe me i truly understand what u are going through. but atleast u can get it unlike me even though its not as often as when are mania like. i have no one. and usually i will turned to a one night stand but i am trying not to go that route, thats when i can become promiscuous. on my own when there is no mania men are not apart of me i do not want them, nor do i find them attratctive but when my hypersexuality hit, that is what i want more. isnt that crazy i dont understand it. why do i want sex from the one sex i cant tolerate (men)??
462570 tn?1273632977
I think that a LARGE number of people on this site have the exact same thing/urges/thoughts/behaviors etc that you do and the few that have responded do but the whole "SEX" thing is quite a "touchy" subject - pardon the pun! LOL  It's really easy to discuss the depression and the spending and the rage and the delusions and such that are a part of Bi Polar but you start asking about the big "S" and people will clam up in a heart beat!  It's all so Fruedian!  It's kinda funny! Sexuality is another form of expression and it's a natural part of human nature.  We are put on this earth to reproduce.  If not, the human race would cease to exist. (We could stand for some people to STOP reproducing so much at the moment but that's another discussion altogether!)  We got lucky that it feels good, too!  In general, it is my opinion that most people are really uncomfortable with their own sexuality to begin with so throw almost uncontrollable urges to have sex (sometimes mixed with peculiar and bizarre acts) on top of those insecurities and you got shame, guilt, embarrasment.....the stuff of a psychoanalysts dreams! Well, I'm not afraid of it...I have periods of mania and usually its that pure, euphoric mania that includes hypersexuality where I want to have sex with anything that moves!  Almost everyone looks good!  Now, I still have a discerning eye and even in that state, I'm kinda picky but if push comes to shove - I could end up with what I might consider in a more level state a very sorrid person!    And I don't really care about the other person!  It's like a game to me.  Cat and mouse!  It's thrilling and fun and it can last for hours or days.  The problem??? I'm married!  Now - I've been very lucky and not given into these urges with other men and if I did have them well - I had hubby around to quench them. (There was this one time but we won't go into that cause like I said - I'm married)  So, I guess you can see where some people wouldn't want to really get into a deep confessional discussion about their true feelings concerning their manic hypersexuality????
In relation to you and the man thing and not likin' em except when you are manic....well, I don't know your story so I can't really comment but there is more there than meets the eye so you might want to take a deeper look...
Keep It Simple!
Avatar universal
you know what now that you put it like that it is understandable why people havent been responding the way i expected  them too. The sex subject is touchy. at that point of time when i made this post i wasnt even thinking about it and i thought is was something only i was experiencing which i see now i am not.

And me about liking men i have no idea why is that my social worker are trying to figure out if i went through something through childhood that might have been pushed back in my mind. my mother who i am very close to i have spoken with her and she told me no and i know she is telling the truth. and me personally i dont remember anything and i use  to have a good memory. but i will try to work on that. i am trying to find a way to try and talk to my father about his family since i was around them mainly when my mother had to go to work but she later removed them from me when they was treating me badly. but TMI sorry for rambling.  Next week i am going to try acupuncture for my migraines maybe my head would be clearer then.
462570 tn?1273632977
I say:  Don't worry so much about it...When the student is ready...the teacher will come!  Don't avoid them but don't try to push them away either.  Just live.
Take Care
Avatar universal
Avatar universal
I am 62 and suffered with hypersexuality all my life.  I was sexually abused as a child and I was told as an adult that if the abuse was pleasurable then you would be promiscious and if painful, frigid.  I wanted sex to fill up that empty spot inside me an it never happened.  Finally after about age 40 on I felt so disgusted with myself I didn't want to be touched.  I take antidepressants and I call that a chemical neutering because it takes away the desire.  I have also used a vibrator in the past but that felt emptier than having sex.  I now have a 17 year old bipolar granddaughter that I have raised and she is hypersexual and we are having a horrible time.  I came up in the 60s, so everyone was doing it but she has done things and we live in a small community and she now has a "bad" reputation.  I feel so lost because I can't do anything to help her.  Her psychiatrist says that she needs to be in a hospital because that is a behavior problem.  Right!!  She is on Effexor but it has not helped her that much.  Managing her moods helps some but she is a rapid mooder and she is hard to control.  She has had 2 serious suicide attempts this year.  She has been hospitalized 4 times this year.  Nothing has helped.  

505907 tn?1258369340
I am perhaps "hypersexual" but have not found it to be too negative in my life. Anyway I was diagnosed for years as severely deoressed and it wasn't until I was prescribed a high dose of Effexor that the manic side of me reared it's fun and crazy head. I was acting high as a kite for the first time in my life! If your granddaughter has been diagnosed B.P. why is she on Effexor? Is she on anything else besides? It sounds to me that she is in far greater need of a mood stabilizing drug. I question whether she is getting the best treatment and suggest that you take her some where else for a second opinion.
603015 tn?1329862973
I am new to this but I had thought I was just an incredible flirt and then go and give my husband a good seeing too, Once I stayed up all night with his friend while my husband was asleep upstairs, we talked until 5am in the morning mainly about sex and then I just had to go upstairs and wake my husband up. Mine is quite mild I think, I do flirt terribly when hypo and flash and do some, I have had to excersise great control in the past but thankfully I have never been unfaithful although it has come close sometimes, when I cant get it I find alot of mine is seeing things like a sausage a great turn on. Here some honesty for you, but I would say I speak about it, think about it and flirt terribly most of the time.
Avatar universal
I am incredibly grateful to those that opened up to my question. It felt like I was the only one. Like Tinker, I too feel empty inside even after my encounters. I am trying so hard to control it. Then I am able too, then it will start up with thoughts , then adult movies and then the need then I get it then I am in that depressed mode again. Its like I am leading a double life because no one knows about that part of me.
607502 tn?1288247540
Youre not alone trust me, im hypersexual and its challenging sometimes to control it and stay faithfull.  Masturbation works well and its healthy as well, my psychologist and I have discussed this and she thinks its not a problem unless it moves to compulsion; she commented that its actually a useful relaxtion and stress release tool which she has advised to numerous male and female clients.

Hypersxeuality gets a bad rap because people asume that it means you are addicted to sex or a serial adulterer or some sort of pervert, the reality is what we all know.  This is compounded by many psychiatrists and doctors - I know of psychiatrists who point blank refuse to admit this even exists despite it being codified - it seems anyone over 50 who has a medical degree is prone to making stupid judgments like this though not just over 50's.

Every time I think society has moved beyond stop it or you will go blind or that masturbation is dirty I come across someone who is so screwed up from a childhood filled with it that it makes me realise we havent changed - true story I have a very good friend who is perfectly sane and totally frigid.  Shes very attractive and has a great personality but her mother so twisted her head as a child that she cannot enjoy sex no matter what she tries - she cannot get past it being dirty no matter how hard she tries to the point where at 35 she just cannot deal with it at all.

Id rather be hypersexual thanks.

My doctors love drugs that lower sex drive - its considered a challenge by them as none of them ever have with me :)

There is no need to feel bad about being hypersexual, we just are and its part of us.  Best advice for those feelings is get a pshychologist and talk about it and scratch the urge safely when you need to - the whole point is as long as no one is getting hurt (at least non consesually hurt just in case whips and chains are anyone's thing) then there is nothing wrong with it - its all perceptions from where I sit.

I hope that makes sense.
Avatar universal
I am the same way. I found myself wanting to prowl out and find anyone to take out my frustrations on. I am single so it doesn't help matters. I am like you. I lock myself up in the house because I am afraid of having a couple of drinks and doing things I may regret.
Avatar universal

And when I do fulfill my urge its never enough. and then I will find that one particular person (they think its a relationship, but its not tom me) to fulfill my needs for  awhile but then they start to freel someway then its back to the drawing board. I am 28 and never been in a relationship or had a significant other. I just dont trust anyone nor I will ever fall in love. to me its just about sex and thats it. I say its the end to all sexual activity but i am not fooling anyone but myself. No matter how degrading and rotten I feel after the act. Like i stated before I dont like men in fact I thought I was into to females but that is not the case I dont want nothing to do with them either.  
607502 tn?1288247540
I guess it might be me but I never saw sex as dirty or degrading, I experimented when I was younger with a variety of things and people and never once saw any of that as wrong or bad either.

Then again I am male and perhaps there is a difference, certainly there is with multiple partners or promiscuity (the whole **** vs stud thing) in social mores but social mores bore me, they always have because of the rampant hypocrisy in society.

I would say that you need to find a way you can make sex accesible, it might be that what you need is anonymity in which case there are clubs who do that as well or like minded groups who wear masks; I know someone who does this because she has a problem with shyness and can let herself go when she doesnt know the person; or maybe some other exploratin.

The whole thing is you just should not beat yourself up about sex, I know there is more behind it for you in terms of past history and I have no doubt that colours this and affects you and who can blame you but you owe it to yourself to seek help to get past that - you cannot let a man rob you of that part of being a woman and a human being - thats giving someone else power and we have enough problems.  Its like hating men, I see that as pointless because not all men hurt you - im a man, i didnt hurt you - hate the man not the sex.

Thats just me, I just think of hate as an unneccesary thing, negative emotions don't do anything though try telling that to me when im feeling depressed.

In my own way Im saying that its worth working to find the right answer and ultimately there is no reason to be ashamed to need and crave sex - as I already said as long as its consensual and safe there is nothing wrong with touching that urge - just make sure no one and most of all you gets hurt.

I know you will get there, I feel for you and can only imagine how you must feel about this, I have no reference point myself.
Avatar universal
I never knew i was hypersexual till reading this post i havent even heard of hypersexual till i read this.
Since a young girl ive been terrible ive tried to sleep with friends and slepted with a ex partners best friend and im always interested in girls when im manic.
I have a bf now of 5 years and im also seeing a girl for the last 6 months they both know about each other ad i still found myself looking at other people in a sexual way.
I have no sex drive when im on meds no urges no feeling at all.
Im only like this when im manic
607502 tn?1288247540
Promiscuity is a manic symptom, its not always hypersexuality which tends to be a constant but it can be.

The key thing is recognising that you feel that way so you can control it as much as you can or get help, like gambling and drinking and spending umm shagging is another addictive behaviour trait of the bipolar mind.

Dont the sane people miss out on so much fun...
505907 tn?1258369340
Why Monkey, from prior posts on this subject I never knew you felt that way. I'm afraid that I sounded like a ***** on another forum question when I said that my sensuality was the key to my satisfying sex life. I didn't mean that I'm prowling around town looking for pick ups. I think what's more amazing is that I was able to enjoy a hot sex life with my exhusband during years when he said that he did not love me. He stopped kissing me 5 years before that. I tried punishing him for a while by withholding it and realized that I was punishing myself as well! I'm a man in a woman's body is how I explain it. It's best if you can find a long term sex partner who has the same drive as yourself after all, we should have shared interests, right?
  I have to say that I do not understand the "feeling dirty" afterwards. I used to be terribly self conscious and be rigidly modest (okay so I got over it) as a result of my upbringing by my Victorianly moraled mother and by my natural sensitivity and anxieties. I got hurt a few times. I was disappointed once or twice but if you enjoy the act why the recriminations? Therapy seems the answer to this sort of self defeating personality quirk.
585414 tn?1288941302
The sexual urges which I get that are destructive or out of control go away when I take a mood stabilizer. The problem is so does my regular sex drive. I know the Parkinsonian conditions have lowered my sex drive because any medication I take that brings up dopamine will bring that back to normal (and unfortunately at higher doses causes hypersexuality). But certain mood stabilizers did before I acquired these various tardive conditions. Out of the mood stabilizers I've taken in the past though Lithium and Depakoate really dampened my sex drive (though remember I was on old line antipsychotics like Haldol then which really kill your sex drive). Lamictal was okay in that regard. The medication I am on now for dystonic spasms, Tenex which is also serving as a mood stabilizer in being related to Clonidine (used as a mood stabilizer but not often due to severe side effects, its an alpha blocker) has practically lowered my sex drive down to zero. That's not the worst part because I could have my neurologist change it (my psychiatrist was never happy with the Clonidine as a mood stabilizer and agreed to take me off he, he would concur) although for dystonic spasms there are not really many options left and as for mood stabilizers I've tried 30. The worst part is I don't miss it. I don't think its part of a psychiatric issue. I would believe considering that I as a child was a survivor of sexual abuse (and no one took it seriously then) sex is just something I can't handle and when it emerges its in destructive forms.
  Although the bizzare dissociative states were neurological there was an element of mania involved (that "dysphoric mania" term sounded accurate to him when I spoke to my psychopharmocologist about it). So in terms of the Parkinsonianism and related dissociation I got my personality and identity back (alpha blockers have been shown to help on this). In terms of standard psychosis I've done well with the glycine as posted. But in terms of mood I went from hypomanic and somewhat grandiose to a bit flattened out so in that aspect its like the old days but as they develop new medications I'm always the first to try them so I'm optimistic on that. I'm not optimistic as regards sexuality and related issues because once you've undergone that experience even if you have no psychiatric disability it scars you for life.
672839 tn?1305792947
Yes, sex and mania.  And I prefer women..
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