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539694 tn?1434565947

Mirtazipine

Hey ive not posted on here in a long time medication has been screwing my head up. Ive stopped taking 30mg of mirtazpine every day he reckons i should increase to 45mg though. Basically ive stopped taking it because it was giving me shakes, hallucinations and pretty bad cravings like one minute all i can think about is salt then soon as ive had anything with salt in i want sugar and its unbearable, ive never been anything like this before..

Has anyone experienced this with mirtazpine? Its hard its keeping me awake majorly.
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Avatar universal
Exactly Cowgirl!

If I didn't care I wouldn't bother, another drunk making his own coffin. Why do I? My godfather, who I just found out from my mum, was bipolar, and I don't think every really took the help. He drank for years, then sobered up for about 10. His partner of over 20yrs insisted. When Cuthbert started to dabble again, his partner left.  Cuth then went full force into a binge one night. The cleaning lady found him the next morning, still alive but he he had hemmoraged from his stomach and throat, there was blood everywhere. By the time the ambulance got there, he was dead. What a messy, agonizing death, so unneeded , he was a brilliant playwright and loving friend to my Mum.

I'm a bulemic, starting at around 12 due to pressure from looking perfect, I was a national level athlete by 14. I stopped purging when I was 21, but still binged. I had a purge event around 3 yrs ago, I broke some blood vessels in my throat, luckily it wasn't deadly but I did lose enough blood that I needed a transfusion.  I know that if I made myself throw up, I could die, and I am terrified if I am actually sick with the flu, if I throw that I could bleed out. This was a huge scare to me.

Two different addictions, but both equally deadly. Detoxing is painful in drug and alcohol related addictions, it's no walk in the park.  There are detox units in most hospitals, you just have to have to courage to do it.  You should not be on most meds, because they could do more harm then good.  It's up to you, you can moan and groan about how bad your life is, and alcohol makes me feel good so I won't change, or be the man you should be and clean up.  Self medication with BP is no way to go. You know that rationally.
I think many of you psychological disturbances and issues with the medical community are based on your drinking, not the actual medical professional. I do not believe in any way that a medical professional would say it's not addicting, your brain is thinking that's what s/he has said.  It's a delusional state or simply by being drunk what you hear and what you think are two different things. Your view on things is skewed because of the alcohold, it really addles your brain. Alcohol can also cause rage on top of paranoia. I've never seen a long term drunk happy.  When I worked for 911, we'd get at least 10 calls a night about a person drunk, in a rage and uncontrollable.

We can listen to you rant, swear and truly believe that x person isn't willing to help you for x reasons.  We can't help you because you aren't willing to do anything to help yourself.
Helpful - 0
607502 tn?1288247540
Im the same - no judgement just concern and caring - I want to see you get some help and get sorted.

I loved the bit about dark secrets we do not admit.. Oh so very true that is..
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Avatar universal
Ok, let's see....my father (and basically everyone on that side of the family) was a raging alcoholic and I am talking, would drink rubbing alcohol in the barn if he couldn't find anything else.  We couldn't even have cough medicine or anything, if it was a pill or anything - he took it - would take a whole bottle of Tylenol for God's sake!  He used to beg me to buy drugs for him when I was a teen ager.  He was a constant suicide threatener.

Watching his rath through the years, made me numb to it, so when I was about 14-15, I got drunk in my room almost every day.  I hid the alcohol in my room and drank in front of my Mother (totally terrified of alchol) for years.  I started pot when I was about 16 and stayed drunk or stoned the majority of my high school - until about senior year.  I started dating a guy that got me cleaned up and was clean for a couple years.  When he and I broke up - I started drinking again with a purpose of hurting myself.  Smoked dope until someone laced it with LSD and I had a really bad trip.  (Started driving and didn't know where I was - still don't know how I made it home. I couldn't even feel my body)  

Got pregnant when I was 20 years old - had my son when I was 21 and didn't touch anything at all until I got divorced at 25.  Every minute my son wasn't at home, I was drunk.  I went to restaurants/pubs and got wasted.  Had tons of friends that went with me and we had a big old time.....not really.  Tales are still told of our antics and idiotic behavior - being banned from restaurants/pubs for behavior while we were drunk.  It's a miracle that I didn't hurt someone or myself or get arrested.  I got drunk one time at a party - got date raped and had an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed me.  That type behavior went on for 2 or 3 years, but was such a good functioning drunk, no one minded too much...worked, good mother, yada yada.  

When I got married again at 29, I was back in good shape for about a year or so, and I did great.  My exhusband was very controlling and it was good for me at the time.  Our relationship spiralled out of control - in part - due to my bipolar issues - as well as - our relationship issues...  We divorced after 5 years, and I started back drinking.   I didn't drink near as much - told myself it was social, but I did drink and when I drank, I drank to get drunk.  Luckily, I pulled myself up before it got out of hand again.  Of course, it was ONLY when my boys were gone, so I felt like I was in control.  This time, it lasted only a few months.   I guess it was my last effort at sowing my oats..so to speak.

Now, I don't have a desire to drink, do drugs, or anything.  BUT, to say I don't understand isn't true.  I have an addictive personality, and alcohol is a demon that I can't control, so I avoid it.  

Hun, it's not that we are judging you.  There are deep dark secrets that even we don't admit with the cloak of secrecy of the internet - it's not that we are superior - we don't like to see them ourselves!  SO, the main thing that we (or at least myself) would like to see is for you to get the proper help and understand that it's hard for you.   It's going to be hard for the doctor to diagnose and treat you without getting through the muck, though, and you have to be cooperative to get there.

If we didn't care - we would ignore your comments.  

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Okay, I will plainly state that I am not an addict. However, my father was a raging alcoholic for decades. Not a "drink too much after work" alcoholic.  Not a "got a couple of DUIs" alcoholic. No, the man drank vodka and orange juice starting in the morning and continuing all day. Every day. And, he drank that way for at least 15 years and had a less voluminous alcohol problem for probably another 10 or more years before that. He took out a company car. He lost jobs. He knocked down a light pole. He ruined too many relationships to count. Getting sober nearly killed him. Literally. And that was in a medical facility, not some outpatient program. Also, I have a sister who simply cannot stay off heroin. She'd be using right now if she weren't in federal prison. My point is that addictions are not a matter of willpower or mindset and yes, they can be physically catastrophic.

A SYMPTOM of addiction is relapse. There are neurological reasons for this. Almost no one gets clean from anything on their first attempt. I honestly don't know how many times my uncle went through rehab - at the same medical facility that treated my father. It was several. For some people, it may take a dozen attempts or more over a lifetime. Please do not feel that you are permanently trapped when you have started drinking again. Yes, people will get frustrated with you because of your perceived failure. But a lot of people are looking for an excuse to be nasty anyway, so to hell to with them. Keep your focus on your own health and the future. And, repeat after me: Relapse is PART of addiction. It is the norm. It is not failure. Failure is not trying at all.

I differ from some in that I am not sure what appear to be excuses are really excuses. I see someone in pain who has sought relief. Perhaps the means are inappropriate and we cannot understand your situation, but I think the main thing is that you get treatment. It will be next to impossible to find meds that will work - and are safe - if you are regularly consuming large amounts of alcohol. That's a chemical problem and not a judgment. It's easy to see you are frustrated. But, I think the doctors will try to help. And the one who said alcohol wasn't addictive, well s/he needs to get shipped back to the 18th century because there are an awful lot of people who know better. Don't talk to that person again. Good luck to you.
  
Helpful - 0
607502 tn?1288247540
Do I know what its like? Sort of.

Well I didnt drink for 6 years after my bout of drinking but I guess I  managed a bottle of vodka a day for a year or so but it did contribute to my breakdown which was inevitable really -  it did however dull the pain I was in all the time in my head which was the point and make me feel better about the fracked up mess my life was at the time so I do understand that point but alcohol also has a side effect of turning people into not very nice people and is very effective are destroying lives and careers - I had a reputation for being a drunk that followed me for years afterward and still have friends who do not talk to me anymore.

Im still recovering from it over 15 years on, I damaged my liver and my kidney function is impaired and some of my other health problems look to be related - I have to watch my drinking now as well and control it carefully, too easy to slip back into it - I have a healthy relationship with alcohol now but its taken me a long time to get it.

I cannot claim to have ever been a drug addict either, did a bit speed and meth in my time, loved LSD, never tried heroin, thought ecstasy made me and everyone else into wankers and dope made them into boring wankers.  

You know what, I can begin to speak to you about stopping- thats not my place and its not going to work - my doctor at the time told me to stop but I didnt, my friends did, my girlfriend walked out on me due to the the drinking and the uncontrollable moods.. Or mabe she got tired of picking me up off the bathroom floor when she came home from night shifts at the ER and found me crying there - I didnt need help anyway, i was handling things and no matter what she tried I used all the same excuses you did - I wasnt diagnosed at that time just falling apart and Anna bless her soul really cared but what can you do when someone won't listen?

I have heard all the excuses, made a few really myself over the years, blamed everyone else and the alcohol for why I behaved like an utter sack of shite to people and I could still blame the disease now but I cannot -its too simple - my behaviour even now crosses lines when I dont think about it - im not right by any stretch but I recognise that.

So sorry but I cannot offer advice, your post is a classic excuses post - replace alcohol with dope, speed, meth or anything even hookers or sheep and it doesnt change the flavor one bit - if thats the case its excuses and I cant stomach them anymore - ive heard so many of them from people.

Im going to be blunt, I do not know you personally but I do feel worried about you and care that you get some help ok.

You are sick.  You are getting sicker.  If you do not get help there are only 2 ways you are going to go.  hospital commitment or pine box.  Thats reality and its harsh but its reality none the less - alcohol consumption on a high level 7 days a week is going to kill you - it kills everyone in time and spirits do serious damage along the way as well - and if it does not then one of these days you might just get lucky and get hospitalised unless you do have a psychotic break in which case all bets are off.

You need to stop drinking and you need to stop making excuses, Im sorry but thats it - we can support you and advise you but we wont listen to excuses and pretend they are valid - theyre not.  Heard em, used em, bought em, have the T shirt, did not change a thing.

You dont need to got through this but you cannot get stable on medication until you stop drinking and sooner or later you are going to find a doctor who will be honest with you about that reality.  Alcohol does not make you feel better - it is a depressant.
Helpful - 0
539694 tn?1434565947
Do either of you know what its like? From what ive read about you two the last year your both sober and dont do any drugs or alcohol you probally did in the past but have obviously stopped. Well i cant stop. Ive cleaned up properly twice then ive relapsed i cant get clean again its to hard, when i started asking for help all those months ago i was clean then i realised being clean didnt help my case at all because they still wouldnt help me so i had nothing left.

I told the doctor its an addiction he says ethenol isnt addictive, yeah well i think half the population of AA and BADAS would disagree with him there. I also dont want to quit i like drinking it makes me feel good then it destroys my life but i can have another drink then its all better for a few hours then it gets worse then i really get closure i can drink till i pass out cold for 12 hours its like a day without any pain then you know?

Its my only way of coping i dont have any other options i started because i couldnt control when my highs and lows came and to block out the hallucinations but doctors say yes but in most cases that makes them worse. My response to that is yes but not always. I like being able to function and alcohol allows me to do that when im on a high i can function fine without a drink but you really ask yourself another bipolar can you say what your mood will be like in 4 days? No you cant which is why i dont rely on any persistant good mood lasting more than 2 days if i have something important i will take something so i can guarrante i can function.

Im starting back on my mirtazpine tonight i just called one of my now many doctors.. she will see me next week and has said she takes me seriously now and disagrees with her partner and is going to discuss anti psychotic medication. If they dont **** me about and give me some to trial then i will quit drink for that as best i can.
Helpful - 0
607502 tn?1288247540
Im not remotely going to judge but looking at it from a doctors point of view which I am sure you can I am sure you can also see why they might think they hey?

Why can you not stop drinking?  You are young and smart and you must know where this is going to go eventually?

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Avatar universal
What's happened with your pdocs is because of non-compliance. They can refuse to treat you if you are doing harmful activities during treatment including drinking that you have done consistently from what I've seen in your posts.Why would they help you, if you won't help yourself?.
It could indeed be alcohol induced psychosis like they said, it can mimic BP, which occurs slowly over time due to alcohol abuse. In the post you place on Dec 7th you had a serious question about a consequence of drinking.  It not only affects your stomach but your brain, and if you have BP or another disorder it makes it 10x worse. Even if you've stopped drinking, you've done damage. If you haven't stopped I would beg you to go into treatment.

My brother's brain is so messed up, he can't hold a job down, lives at home, can't get it together to apply for welfare to help my mum n' dad out. My brother is 42 years old, and I will probably either have to put him in some sort of Supportive Indpendant living. He's an untreated bipolar as well, with serious rages. The amount of alcohol he drank, though not every day and pot, he has gone from a high IQ Honour student in History with offers to go directly to his PHD he was that smart. He know can't focus enough to do his own laundry, and this is all the time.

So once you get the liquor out of your system permanently, sober up, then they can truly figure out what's going on.

I honestly think you need to have some patience,get fully sober,  miracles don't happen over night, plus you've had psychosis makes things worse.
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539694 tn?1434565947
I cant get another team and ive stopped returning their calls and ive quit their medication. They dont even believe me or take me seriously they say basically we dont think your bipolar now we think your a severely depressed alcoholic who is bordering on a psychosis and we need to make sure you never enter that.

Bordering on psychosis? stop me entering one? i was in one for ******* 18 months ive had hallucinations my whole freaking life and i get severly paranoid delusions. They probally dont believe that because do most schizophrenics know they suffer crippling delusions? no they dont. But neither did i, i realise i do but when im in the midst of it and feel like im going crazy i cant tell then.

Since i started mirtazpine ive had 2 very ****** up sensory disturbances where i suffered visual and auditory hallucinations at the same time whilst seeing myself on the floor from a third person perspective, i was screaming then i was sat somewhere calm and i couldnt link the two was it memory loss? I had not been asleep.

His reply mabye a 45mg dose is in order..

**** him i finally got put through to a specialist 3 months ago and its taken all that time just to see a actual psychaitrist who isnt doing anything for me.

They can all just **** off i want to quit university
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Avatar universal
Hey Guy - I was wondering where you went off to - don't do that!  

Listen, I think you definitely need to get a different medical / psychiatric team around you.  You finally get help and it's this?  You can't deal with this all alone and we all know that - promise that you won't just give up and stop taking the meds and stop trying to get the proper help for this?  

I am so sorry you are going through this.  Even though my Lamictal isn't perfect, I think it might be better than what you are going through.  Anything is better than nothing.  All drugs that affect moods are not considered a good match for alcohol, so they need to try something that will actually work.   PROMISE you will get another team together?  Don't give up on getting stable.  

Kisses - Hugs
Racheal
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607502 tn?1288247540
Oh withdrawl yes - it gave me insomnia like no toomorrow and I still have not fully started a sleep cycle 3 weeks on.

I went hypomanic and stopped sleeping after I stopped taking it - its not a drug you can taper really either.
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Avatar universal
I took this for six weeks (oficially known as my 6 weeks from hell)

Waiting every day for it to kick in, do something, downing the zanax/sleeping tablets.  Staying awake all night?

I changed to a new doctor who sorted this out straight away.  Put me on Effexor with 5mg zyprexa, sorted!
Helpful - 0
539694 tn?1434565947
It didnt keep you awake because it has enough sedative in to nuke a hippo i slept for 22 hours the first time i took it completely missed out a whole day very confusing, i think the keeping me awake part is a withdrawal symptom mabye? Its probally complicated to some extent that i drink with it to.. he gave me mirtazpine specifically because he knew i  ts not possible for me to stop drinking while on medication.

I noticed it didnt really do its job it just made me depressed as **** without the bouts of confidence and positivity..
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607502 tn?1288247540
Join the club along with major league weight gain and anger issues.

Just stopped before christmas and no way I would go back on it, for me it was a nightmare.

It did not keep me awake though.
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