My son is a rollercoaster still

[marsha_ann]

My son, Austin (13), has been on Trileptal for about 3 weeks now.  He has seemed a little calmer (at times), but is still very defiant & moody.  For those who dont know ... he's ODD, IED, & bipolar.    He smarted off to my husband last night, and started an hour long fight/arguement.  We are SO tired of all this stress !!!!  
My husband is almost ready to kick him out (make him go live with his real father or somewhere else) ...but we're trying to stick this out.  I'm worried that if we do send him somewhere else, he'll think that we gave up & dont love him (he already says that we dont love him anyway).  
There's only 5 more weeks left of school.  I think we're going to take him to stay in a hospital for a week or two in June.  He need to be observed/evaluted 24/7 !!!   He'll probably just hate us more for making him go there.

[marsha_ann]

UPDATE:
Well, it's been a month since Austin was released from the hospital.   And he is doing great!!!!   He says he still has some depression & bad thoughts, but they arent real bad.  His defiance & yelling is pretty much gone.  It's like having a new kid !!!!   The only thing I dont like  is that his vyvanse is really reducing his appetite.  I have to make him eat lunch (or he'll skip it too).

My 3 yr old has really started acting out more.  I dont know if it's just the age, or if he misses all the yelling in the house.  But he sure is dishing out what Austin use to do.  I just hope with lots of timeouts & spankings, we can get Logan under control soon.  I think he would act better if he was in daycare (with stricter rules & a schedule) .. but we cant afford daycare right now.

[Venora Moonwind]

I have been following your thread and I feel for you . It must be so difficult for Austin. Its hard enough to be dealing with this as an adult .
bi polar can have psychosis.I get that way when I am really manic and I havent slept because of it.
that is intersesting what he said about seeing in the mirror.
I wish I could help more but justs keep being the same loving mom to Austin and he will come through. I am glad the meds seem to be helping him Keep me  updated on his progress. you and Austin are in my prayers.
Love Venora

[marsha_ann]

I dont know much about Psychotic Disorder NOS (psychosis).  Can anyone tell me more about it.  From what I've read online, it sounds similar to bipolar & BPD.  I guess that's why I'm not a Dr !!!!  

[marsha_ann]

Well ... I guess I was wrong about Austin being Bipolar.  But I'm not a doctor either.  

He had a 9 day, 8 night hospital stay, and he finally got released today.  He was discharged with these diagnoses... Conduct Disorder, ADHD, major depression, Psychosis.  He's on Prozac 20mg & Vyvanse 50mg.   He seems to be feeling much better, and was eager to get home & play with his cousin next door.  He told me on the phone that things were going to be different & better now.  And that he understood now why we sent him to stay at the hospital, and he's not mad at us about it.  I'm SO glad he is feeling better inside !!!

[marsha_ann]

Well, Austin is done with school.  yay !!  He passed too !!!  His grades weren't that great, but at least he passed.  

I think we are going to take him for a week or more hospital stay on the 9th.  That seems like a good day to take him.  My husband cant take off work, but my mom is going to go with me.  I really hope those doctors can figure out exactly what he has (bipolar, BPD, or others).  

[marsha_ann]

Austin had a huge fit after getting in trouble yesterday afternoon.  I could hear him yelling & throwing a tantrum in his room.  I took Logan outside so he wouldnt have to listen to it.  

Later, Austin came outside crying & cried on my shoulder.    A little while later, he told me that he saw something in the mirror while he was yelling & upset.  He said it was him, but it wasnt him.  He was pretty freaked out.

I really dont know if he saw it or not.  He might've just wanted attention.  I told him to draw it & write a description (so I could show dr's).  Here's what he wrote:

'gray skin, hair was neater, no blimishes, and horns;  A dark ominous cloud with twinkling lights floating around it;  Solid black wings, and gold/yellow cat eyes'

He wanted his mirror removed from his room, but he uses it to put in his contacts.  I told him just to turn it around until he needs to use it.  

[marsha_ann]

Well, all the meetings are over for now.  Austin was given permission to finish out the school year at the alternative school.  So if he keeps up with his work & doesnt get in trouble there, he will pass.  His grades arent very good right now since he had 7 days of zeros, but I think he can pull them up some in the next 2 weeks.  

At the IEP meetings ... they are re-evaluating him for Emotionally Behavior Disturbed.  This will take awhile because of all the research & medical information needed.  But this will be a big help in the future school years.  I'm SO glad we are finally going to get some help from the school system, and he wont be considered just a 'trouble student' anymore.  

Maybe we can get his meds right over the summer, and next school year will be better for him (& us).

[marsha_ann]

I've already started the magnesium.  But just once a day.  I'll start the twice a day today.   I think my headaches the other day was just from all this stress I'm going through with Austin's situation.  

I have his IEP meeting this afternoon.  I really hope it goes well !!  And then the expulsion hearing on Monday.  Pray pray pray for us !!!!

[Crystlas]

Magnesium ladies... it knocks those migraines out!  I do not suffer nearly what I used to, which was a few times a week.  I now get maybe three headaches a year.  It is usually from huge stress or eating a trigger food.  You can get magnesium anywhere there is a pharmacy with suppliments.  Take 250mg twice a day.  I pop one with my morning meds and again in the evening after dinner.  Give it two weeks and you should feel a huge difference.  My nurse practitioner taught me this.  Take care.

[marsha_ann]

I had a small headache when I woke this morning, but it went away around 10am.  

Today started out well ... Austin & I worked on his homework project ... then we took it to the school.  I still dont know if he'll get credit for all his homework while he's out, but I'm turning it in anyway.  

After we got back from the school ... he started arguing about not wanting to fail & repeat the grade.  But it's not my choice... it's up to the school board at our meeting Monday.  I expressed to him how upset I am too , and that I want him to be able to pass.  After all that stressful talking, he has seemed 'down & depressed'.  Too bad he is really thinking about how serious this is AFTER it's happened.  I wish the last suspension wouldve made him think this seriously... but it didnt.

[triedeverymed]

Hope you feel better tomorrow. I hate migraines, I feel for you.
Erin

[marsha_ann]

Today was actually a good day for Austin.  He was in a decent mood.  He argued a little, but not a lot.  Wish every day could be like today.  

Unfortunately, I didnt feel so great, so I couldnt enjoy the day a whole lot.  I had a headache on & off all day, then after 4pm it was getting worse.  Almost migraine strength now.  I'll take some migraine meds when I go to bed.  Hope it'll be gone tomorrow when I wake !!!  

[triedeverymed]

Oh honey you need to do what you need to do. He won't be mad when he's older. Sounds like you need a break so much and maybe they can get his meds right if they happen to be off a bit. Sounds like it. God love you for taking such good care of a child with special needs. You're allowed to be stresses, mad, sad, anything you feel is O.K. There are people here pulling for you and your family.
Erin

[marsha_ann]

I try to remind myself that he cannot help it sometimes... but sometimes it's just down right defiance (his ODD).  I cant figure out how to fix the defiance.  Austin has just made up all these crazy lies in his head, & has thought one way for SO long .. that he believes himself.  So, we're the liars in his mind ... not him.

How do I make the school officials & teachers understand that he really cannot help it?  I cant even get them to start an IEP right now.  I'm battling with that stress too.  Jill has been trying to help me with that.

I read somewhere online that some ppl with bipolar have trouble reading facial expressions.  Is that true?  Austin swears that my mother-in-law looks at him like he's a monster (his words).  And the other night he told Jason that she looked at him in disgust like 'why is he in my house' (we were at her house that evening for about 15 minutes).  I was talking to her at the time, and I noticed no change in facial expression.  I dont know why he feels that way.    But he misunderstands me sometimes too.  He'll think I'm mad, when I'm not ... he'll say I 'look mad'.  I've noticed it a whole lot over the past several years ... but never understood why he thought that way.

What other things do I need to look for ... or need to know?  It's nice having mature bipolar people to ask these things.  I just really want to understand my son better, and learn how to deal with him.

[Crystlas]

Three weeks is not enough time yet, for the medication to be at its peak.  You will see more of a difference in three more weeks from now.  One thing I stress to my loved ones, is when I am acting like a pain in the rear it is not on purpose.  Bipolars really can not help it, I am serious.  We have no excuse to be abusive, but not being able to control certain emotions is part of the illness.  That is how I lost my fiance, he could not get that concept through his head.  My family and close friends are sticking by me and I feel so very fortunate.  Hang in there, both of you and remember Austin's biochemistry is so wacked out and he will lash out w/o being able to help him.  Think of it like Tourettes Syndrome.  Not the exact same, but the same concept.  Until he finds the right combo that really works for him it will be a continous roller coaster.  Mine lasted a year. Take care.