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Bipolar Disorder Community
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222267 tn?1253302210

Oh Family Joy Joy

So my family is no longer speaking to me.  Merry Christmas to me.  I can't deal with the yelling at all.  Its frustrating.  I feel lonely.  I have friends that I talk to. But they think it's hilarious.  That's usually how I deal with stuff, so it's not surprising they are acting this way.  I would have never guessed my family of all families would do this.  We are all so close. It breaks my heart.  I guess I can't blame them considering I wanted to hurt them.  They were threatening me and screaming at me.  I felt rage!  I know my family is not the only one that reacts to situations (or doesn't react).  I would like to know thoughts and stories so I don't feel like I have the only unsupportive family on earth.  You know, let me take that back.  The only family that doesn't know how to support someone with BP.

No disassociation, psychosis or paranoia today.  Great step forward.  I'm holding my breathe.  I actually got 4 hours of sleep.  So proud. Only you guys would also be able to appreciate something like that.  My pdoc called tonight to see how things were.  He doubled the meds so I can sleep more.  INVEGA makes me like a zombie. That's the whole purpose right?  I hope I can drive to work in the morning.  

You guys are the best!!!!!
4 Responses
585414 tn?1288941302
I think your family may change their mind but give them some time. When things adjust a NAMI support group for family and friends might be worth it. Just stick with everything as regards treatment now until things are completely stable. Then post again to let us know and I'll give you ideas at that point if you can't tolerate side effects. Pm me if you have any ideas or suggestions for practical coping solutions you need. You got through the worst of it. It will get better from here. You have our support.
607502 tn?1288247540
They were threatening you and screaming at you...

These people know you are bipolar right?  They know you are in a bad place?

Yes its the way people carry on but we really do expect our family to behave better, and yet they don't.

No you dont have the only family who do not know how to deal - I am married and its been 2 years now since final confirmed diagnosis - we have bought book upon book about BP and she's read them, shes spoken to my doctors, she has spoken to hers and she knows what to look for and despite all that she still does not get it.  This is someone who will back me into a corner and argue with me until she gets her way which happens when I panic from being trapped and agree just to get peace, she has driven me almost to the point of hitting her just to get her way and she cannot comprehend that giving me 50 choices one after the other makes me lock up.

But hey I love her, I admit right now I could strangle her cheerfully due to the constant need to talk and have noise - she is one of those people who has to fill every pause, in a 15 minute drive from the station tonight the longest period without speaking was about 1 minute and I have heard about her work running out of coffee, her new uniforms, what the girl who sits next to her did and about 30 other things I dont need to know.  

I dont get it?  Why is it so hard to have silence? What is wrong with it?

No youre not alone, but in the end we get there and they get thre, it will just take some time I guess.

I am so glad to hear you doing better anyway - some sleep and things feel better, its all about getting that control back again and you should be proud - youre doing something good.
Avatar universal
You are definitely not alone. My mom, God love her, has a brother who is bipolar and two bipolar daughters. She cannot, will not let a person alone sometimes and when things go wrong, forgiveness is simply beyond her for what seems like a long, long time. And then we all get a guilt trip. Like monkeyc's wife, she cannot endure silence. I can beg her to be quiet (on the rare times we are together now) and she just can't keep her mouth shut. The joke around here is that I could call her on the phone and during the conversation tell her my leg had fallen off and she'd barely acknowledge it, then spend 30 minutes telling me about the aphids in her garden or babbling on and on about her job or, the worst, start telling me stories about people I do not know, have never met and will never meet. On my dad's side, they simply do not acknowledge that there is a problem. When I was hospitalized, they didn't acknowledge it. This has been going on since I was very young, but it doesn't exist for them and anything I say or do is still subject to judgment or anger. There has never been an attempt at understanding. So, you are definitely not alone and there is very little you can do about it.

From their perspective, and I have had that perspective myself dealing with my sister all these years, it can be frightening and/or infuriating behavior.  Mostly, it is tiring. Although we expect more from our family, the truth is that when you're in a position of caretaker (even if in a minimal sense), it can be frustrating and exhausting. It doesn't matter if the person is bipolar or has cancer or whatever. They are emotionally invested and it is hard not to take things personally. With time, I hope things get better for your family. I wouldn't expect anything to happen overnight, though. When you are feeling and thinking more like yourself, perhaps you could try talking to them again. I would give it a little time, though. It's great you've gotten some sleep. I hope things are more stable soon.
607502 tn?1288247540
I think it is important to remember that these people love you but much of your behaviour, all of our behaviour sometimes is frightening to 'sane' people - and fear makes us act in ways we do not normally act.

Our families love us, just sometimes they suck at showing it :)
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