Psychosis or Intrusive Thoughts?

[queenmarz]

Is it possible for hallucinations/psychotic experiences to be like a horror film playing in your mind that you can't control? For example, yesterday, I had this mental "movie" of the grim reaper standing behind me with a wire, about to strangle me or slit my throat. Deep down I knew it wasn't real but it felt real, like a dream while I was awake, as if I could somehow sense that he was behind me ready to do something. I was totally afraid of what was going to happen. I have tactile hallucinations sometimes, so fears that I would feel pain aren't completely ungrounded, but this fear was more than that. I was half-afraid that it really would kill me despite the fact that a small part of me knew that it wasn't real. I'm diagnosed as bipolar II with psychotic features and I hear voices and see things in the dark, as well as experience the sensation of someone touching me when no one is touching me sometimes. I was wondering if this was a part of that, and if so, whether it was psychosis or something else.

[Midijane]

When I have intrusive thoughts I know they are only in my head. They still are upsetting bc they are so graphic and awful. I had horrible thoughts of my daughter being hurt in a car crash last nite. I couldn't help replaying the accident scene over and over in my head... but I definitely was aware they were only thoughts.

I think the safe thing to do is let your doc know what's going on. He/she will have better insight.

M

[CRSeaside]

In my experience a second or even third opinion from a specialist in mood disorder, bipolar Psychiatrist is helpful. Each psychiatrist I saw offered new insight as to what I was experiencing & why.
  I see you use poetry & drawing as coping. That's excellent. Journaling is a good way to banish the ideas that seem real but you know are not real. Pamela

[Anonymouse88]

We can't diagnose you over the internet.  I'd say it sounds like psychosis of some sort--it sometimes is possible for people to have some insight that their delusions and hallucinations aren't real while being unable to shake said delusions and hallucinations.  You should talk to your doctor.  You might need a med adjustment.