Questions

[DennisTM]

I have a problem but do not know where to turn. My brother would best be described as hypo manic,,, I do not know if that is true but as best as I have read that would be the description of him. He was involved in Am way, and went through a lot of motivational seminars, and when you call him he say's he is never better, business is booming, and if he were any better he would be three people,,,,, I think he is three people.. He worked as a manager for years and then tried to start his own limo business,, the business failed, then he went through depression. He came out of the depression, and started right back at the failed business. He lost his wife and family by doing this,, he went back through depression and started working as a manager,,, when he came out of his depression he went right back to his failed business and then lost his job,,, his boss said he needed to be on higher medication, of which I did not know he was on any. He has been to jail, and through Psychiatric treatment. I do not know the results, but he keeps on saying they found him highly intelligent, of which I have no doubt. He has not had a job and has been living in his car. He refuses to pay child support, he say's because his family is on drugs... He has no money but stays in expensive hotels at times. The family just got a e-mail from his latest girlfriend that he had taken money from her, 2000.$ to fix an old limo and he bought a junk Cadillac with the money. I have talked with him and told him he needs help, but he refuses to get any... He also refuses to take any blame for anything he has done,,, everything is someone else's fault. Anything that happens is the result of someone else's doing. His ex wife was a *****,, his kids are on drugs,, his ex wife is on drugs... Nothing has any bearing on him. He has been picked up by the police a few times lately, and they have sent him to Psych wards but he always seems to talk his way out.....I and my family would like to help him but do not even know where to start. He is homeless now and calls everyone telling them he is doing better than ever, and is looking for investors to help in his business. He is more like a con man,, he even uses God and religion to further his enedeavers. He hands out fliers and talks to everyone he knows of being screwed out of previous job and they will not give him unemployment. I hope I have given enough clues as to what he is going through. My family and I would like to help him but do not know where to turn.... Any advice would be helpful.

[DennisTM]

Thank you Linda, as I am a former Meth addict,, 8 years and 7 years clean under my belt.... I know what the enabler is,,, and I will be a continued influence in his life. I really do not want to do an intervention,, I feel that unless you can come to wanting help yourself it will just create hate..... I do not know how long it will take of him being pulled over and checked out before someone finally realizes what is up,,, or at least calls a family member to give them the scoop... I know that one of the last times he called my sister that he was frantic that they were giving him drugs that he did not want and he wanted to sue the hospital that was checking him out... I wish I could call someone with the state to have him checked out better next time he gets pulled over... I asked him recently how much police contact he has had and he told be about 12 and that was just a month ago. I told him I will be there when he gets locked up. He told me I was jinxing him...... He is reallly smart,,, and sometimes leaves you questioning yourself when you are done talking with him,,,, But if Mom, Dad, and 8 brothers and sisters think there is something wrong,,,,, I have to believe...... Thank you for the response I really apppreciate any kind of suggestions.
Dennis

[RubyShooz]

Unless he wants to help himself, there is not much you can do to help him.  There are some things that even medication cannot fix.  

The first thing is for him to admit he needs help and he should be evaluated by a doctor.  It seems he could benefit from some type of group or private therapy in order to get his life headed in the right direction.  The doctor may recommend an intervention where he is involuntarily committed to a hospital for intense treatment.

Obviously I am not a qualified professional so these are just my opinions.  I do hope he gets the help he needs.  But don't blame yourself -- you did not create his problems and you are not responsible -- all you can do is be there for him and offer encouragement and try to get him to help himself.  As with alcoholics or drug abusers, do not be an "enabler" and do not help him with his self-destructive actions.  Just try to be a positive influence in his life.

Hugs,
Linda