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Significant Others

I was wondering what sort of toll your bipolar has on your significant other (if you have one).

I know it stresses my husband out. He's worried about me. He says he loves me with all of his heart and would do anything for me. He hates it when I get this way because he says he has it in his mind that I'll no longer be here, that I'll suicide, and he'd always wonder what he could have done to prevent. It makes me feel so bad that I'm causing him stress because of my sickness. I asked him if he was mad at me, and he said absolutely not.

How does your significant other cope? Have you ever discussed it?  

I know this may be a dumb question, because of course our illness is going to cause stress for them. I was just wondering how supportive and understanding (or not understanding) your significant other is.
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Avatar universal
My girlfriend is a godsent to me , and I'm not really much of a spiritual person but if there's a god he put her in my life for a reason, Ive dealt with bipolar my whole life and anxity but when I met her I was 16 and she was 18 I didn't have many mood problems but was in my prime of drug abuse, in the beginning she didn't really mind it because we were more immature and stupid , and then I went through a two month severe depression and didn't leave me house , wasn't doing drugs or anything , and that while time she sat there with me just helping me feel not alone , and I then had an episode of mania after the depression and she was yet again there by my side even after going to the hospital and having to deal with my anger mood swings and being delusional , she did everything she could to help me , after I got put on my meds and was diagnosed with bp I was feeling better but the meds didn't help my mood to much because I started a low dose of lamictal but the resperidal helped me sleep which I wasn't doing and I stopped being delusional , I started a bussing drugs again and she did everything she possible could to help me quit and now I'm 26 weeks clean of drugs and alcohol , idk what I would do without her in my life , I feel like I owe her the world because of everything she's dealt with between the bipolar disorder and the drug abuse , we did have problems here and there mostly because of how I acted but she stuck by me , and I wouldn't be where I am today without her , I'm 17 now and she's 19 , and we've been together for 17 months and I do truly feel she's the girl for me
Helpful - 0
4067477 tn?1450124336
You know, in the beginning- my husband was in denial of my diagnosis and illness. Then he bagan to blame ALL my feelings/reactions/actions/etc. on the bipolar.... it was hard- he was distant. Its been 8 years now and he's gotten to be much more supportive and helpful. He's always very sincere and loving-- and faithful. He lets me know, gently when I am acting out of "normal" character and asks me to consider what I'm saying/planning/etc when he thinks I need to re evaluate the reasoning behind things I say and do. It helps ME to keep me in check. He's always direct but respectful and kind in his suggestions and how he points things out. He's always here for me if I need to talk, cry or ***** about something-- and he often goes to my dr's visits with me. A second set of ears is always a plus! He's come a long way--- we have come a long way together, and have become closer for it. I am thankful for him and all he does to care for me.Especially when I am down sick- which is often as I also have Fibromyalgia really bad. He's my rock, now. But it's been a journey, together to get where we are today. I'm glad he's stood by me. I'll stand by him forever.
Helpful - 0
1551327 tn?1514045867
This is a very good topic...
I know that a lot of my relationships were damaged by my illness but some of the most romantic, beautiful, sincere gestures that I did came on because of my mania.
It is hard for me to imagine some of the things though that my wife and exes had to deal with.  After being diagnosed I contacted my first girlfriend on facebook (we talk, I didn't stalk her).  She told me how I would make these plans and not stick to them. I think that is one of the hardest things when it comes to dealing with a person who has been diagnosed as bipolar.  We can make goals and make plans and whole-heartedly have the intention of doing them but then something happens and even small tasks seem overwhelming and the people who are close to us get pushed away.
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Avatar universal
I figured who better to ask than my wife on this one. I have finally landed, been doing well the last five months. I asked her, "so, how have you coped with me and my bipolar?" She said, "Not very well, especially during your break." She and my kids so wanted to help me, but couldn't. My 11 year old son chimed in, "I just tried not to trigger your mania. You seem fine now." So, they pretty much winged it. My daughter wasn't around to add, but she started helping more to reduce my stress.

My wife went on to say she knows more how to respond now, and when not to respond. She wasn't sure after more than a year if my mind woukd return. She said she surrendered to it, became more Independsnt and self-reliant. All that hurt me, because I wanted to be there for them, but I hurt no matter what. At my worst, when I really coukdnt prioritize and felt so hopeless, I remember saying, "If you want to help me be happy, be happy, in spite of my problems, show me how it is done." That's what they did and I was eventually able to join them. So, for those who think we are worth it, despite our shortcomings, they seem to live on for better or worse and keep hoping. That's what my family has done anyway, they are lucky or blessed that I did balance out.
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Avatar universal
Stress is caused by our reality being different from our expectations. Assuming you are taking your meds and your moods are not swinging as far as they would be without your meds, there are other things a person can do to help them take control over their thought life. And personally, I think it's our thought life that causes our spouses the most difficulty. Takeeverythoughtcaptive.org is where I go for help with that. Joyce Meyer and Joel Osteen are also big helps ro me. And my husband is also very supportive.
Helpful - 0
6726276 tn?1421126668
Oh dear. You have a keeper in that guy! Be thankful and hug him for me.
  My husband doesn't understand mental issues of any kind. He's a loner and rarely talks to anyone but me.
He does over do it during my psychosis when it's occurred in the past. He comes to see me every day in the hospital. Even last year when I was over an hour away and he had to ride the bus and walk an hour in the rain.
  Unfortunately when I'm out of my mind, I don't really care if he visits. Sometimes it just agitates me and I'm usually being treated with new unfamiliar meds.
So yes. It must be hard. He copes the same way he copes with everything. Jogging swimming biking and hiking. Fusses in the house. Always sweeping and washing dishes. I like to cook but then I tire easy and don't clean up very often. He picks up the slack.
  One big problem, that I hope no other BP people suffer. He's very distant to me physically. Not a hug and kiss guy. I'm the opposite. I could fool around all day and 1/2 the night and never get tired of being physical. I don't blame the bipolar though. He was like that before and his mom is colder than an iceberg.   He also copes by talking to her about me. ( which infuriates me)
She has zero understanding and even less compassion.
  Overall I'm lucky probably. That's what my friends tell me. He's patient and he cares about me and wishes I could get more done. His name is Don E.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh, and I wanted to add that he doesn't care about the medical bills we've been getting. He doesn't care about the money. He just wants me to get better.
Helpful - 0
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