I work at a college in Canada and thankfully things are much better than your experience in the 70's. I have recently worked with two students diagnosed with BP and they were referred to and received excellent support from disability services. I am noticing that students today seem less reserved about sharing their mental illness than when I went to uni. I hope this is a sign that society is shifting and is becoming more comfortable with mental illness.
Getting medications adjusted and finding a recovery program for the substance abuse issue is first priority. That is essential. I was never expelled from college but I dropped out because I obviously was going to fail. That was 1991. Things didn't work out for a long time and then I started medication and went back to another college. As I've posted I was misdiagnosed and the Anafranil made me manic/psychotic. I signed myself into the psych. hospital (properly diagnosed and on a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic) and from there two days a week on pass they let me go out with my grandparents driving me back and forth to school and attend any way even though I was an inpatient. I doubt that psych. hospitals would offer that accomodation now and it was rare then but one thing I learned about was that every college had an office for students with disabilities. The accomodations I received such as untimed tests in a seperate room when it came to exams made all the difference. Its okay to take a break but honestly a degree is essential in today's world. But when you are ready to go back see what accomodations the university (whichever one you pick, nothing wrong with starting back with a community college and moving up) can give offer you to help you with the aspects of your disability that make school difficult to begin with.
I got kicked out of Uni too, I failed so badly that even re-taking the exams weren't an option. That was over 20 years ago. When I look back I realise that I was ill, though not diagnosed till 2 years ago. Yes I partied far too much, couldn't focus, missed lectures due to sleeping too much or being hungover...but looking back I was unstable and out of control and if these were symptoms of an illness then I do not 'blame' myself.
I did blame myself for a long time, felt I'd let down my parents too. Now I tell myself that it wasn't meant to be, in fact I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up lol!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be too hard on yourself and it is never too late to start something else, or try again at the same thing.
I was kicked out in my last year of Uni, because I failed two courses. Regardless of my diagnosis, I was the only one to blame. I wasn't serious enough, I partied too much, and couldn't focus. Do I blame the school at all? No, I did it, I owned it, and I moved on.
Maybe once you've dealt with your addiction and are ready to deal with your illness, you can go back. Especially because you were taking psych courses, not really the most prudent program considering where you are at. I told my school what I was going on, and they told me that once I was ready and stable and after waiting a year, I could go back. I want to go back to school, 15yrs later, and since I've got BP, they have program support for folks with disabiites. If I had the money, I would be in school, though a totally different program.
Of course blame your BP. Your letter hits home for me. This is exactly what happened to me. After climbing the stairs 4 years (in my university) I tried hard with the disease to climb the 5th but failed twice and was kicked out. I had to change school and with a lot of efforts i finally managed.
BUT in my view blame yourself for the addiction. I wonder if you were able to avoid it.
Im not going to bother will treatment in 6 months all theyve done is given me a councillor and a month trial on anti depressants the NHS can **** off they are useless
They kicking me out because ive failed all my modules and because they dont think im fit enough to continue, apparently this new doctor im seeing thinks i may be bipolar? I wish i could give that chap a biscuit i mean wow its almost like two doctors have actually shared some ******* data with each other for once.. they can **** off if they dont want to treat bipolar which i got diagnosed as well before coming here as not a real illness then thats their choice, its a real illness to me.
God i hate the god damn ******* NHS
I'm so sorry to hear that :( Did they actually give you a specific reason?
Don't use the word blame look at it more as in responsibility. I think it is probably a mixture of things.
For what my advice is worth, I would suggest taking stock of your ultimate goals. If you still want to do the same thing you set-off doing then take the break between now and the possible re-start of the course in Oct, to get yourself as well as possible.
Your diagnosis/treatment etc is so up in the air (from what you've shared) and the fact that you've held on this long is pretty amazing.
Lol in part i mean.. not blame completely.. gah god that was coherent ha