Avatar universal

Wife needs help, her family ignoring the fact

I have been married for nearly 20 years now. Early on in the relationship, my wife was diagnosed as being bipolar along with having several other mental and physical health related issues.

I have tried for many years to help her, hoping that one day things would get better, but they never have.

For the past several years, I have been trying to reach out to her family for help, but they are ignoring my pleas, almost as if they don't even think she has problems. They keep telling me that she is "not their responsibility".

I am at the point now where I want to give up and walk away, and have even told the family this, but they don't seem to care.

What do I do???
3 Responses
Avatar universal
You can't make somebody care who doesn't.  Many families and friends run fast and long when someone close gets sick.  
Avatar universal
I am so sorry to hear about your wife.  I had people nag me for years about depression, but I never fully took my illness seriously until it had me crash at rock bottom.  It was then I was fully diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.  Hope you don't have to go through that.  I can recommend "3-Minute Therapy", a book based on REBT that can help you to cope with the other people involved in the situation.  Worst case scenario is that you can set boundaries and only let her affect you so much.  Hope it works out for her.  I know it can cause misery to those around the person with the illness almost as great if not greater than the ill person.  Best wishes. - Brett
1415482 tn?1459702714
I am terribly sorry about all of this. It is rough for people struggling with disorders but I think it is even more difficult for those around them. They are the ones who have to be on the other side, taking the good, bad and the ugly. That is really rough. Also, you have to watch your loved one suffering from something you cannot control. The important thing to remember here is that, you are only human and there is a limit to how much you can take. I can imagine how hard it must be to be taking care of your wife on your own.

Sometimes, when someone gets married, families and friends do not believe that the person is their "responsibility" anymore. They feel whatever issue the person faces, must be dealt with by the spouse and that is sad. Also, some people tend to dismiss what they do not understand. I am curious - what kind of help have you been asking for? is it financial or just general support? Perhaps try reaching out to the person who has everybody's ear and then maybe everyone else will come around.

I know it is hard but I wish you would not walk away because what will happen to your wife? Her problems will only get worse. Maybe a therapist can mediate and help your wife which will help you and your marriage.

Peace and Love,

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