Oh, come on -- you KNOW that drinking and smoking are not the answer. Why try to solve one problem by adding more problems to the mix?
I think you know the only thing you should do is get right back to you doctor ASAP and tell him what you wrote here. The doc can adjust your meds and help you get back on the right track.
The attitude you have now is just part of the bp disorder -- recognize that and force yourself to get the medical help you need.
Good luck to you.
I've been there, done that, and have the T-shirt! lol I'm Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Manic Depressive, Anxiety Disorder, and Borderline Skitsophrenia. I had a really hard time accepting my disability because of the family support I had. If was horrible. My family didn't believe the doctors, so they just kept treating me normal and bashing me verbally, mentally, and emotionally. It wasn't until I had a really huge breakdown infront of all of them, that they believed me and the doctors. After that, they tried being supportive to the best of their ability. People don't change over night. But for my own health and safety, I had to remove myself from them. I had to surround myself with a better support system. That is very important. You can't do this alone, no matter how much you want to. Once I got a better support system and therapy and medication, and followed the doctors orders to the T, things started getting better. Slowly but surely. You can't change others, but you can change yourself. But nobody changes overnight! I hope this helps. Sincerely, Molyba
Ruby and Molyba Said it all. Please see your doc asap and Tell what you have told here. You are in my prayers.