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Bipolar Disorder Community
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1065872 tn?1265657330

depression / bipolar?

I have always been a deep person.  I look into things and think about things in great detail and can become overwhelmed and need to stop it before I go crazy.  Looking back over the last 5 years, I have been depressed and caught up in a world of unreality (going into my world) dwelling in the past.  I often, flet an unreal feeling - was I really alive?  With tiredness, numbness, worthlessness and so on.  I started to drink a lot again and self harm a bit, for a couple of years.  I have stopped this, but I then started drinking and taking pills, to hurt myself.  I have not been hospitalized or anything.  I have just done things at home and then telephoned a family member, crying and wanting to die.  I have been on prozac, first, which was great at first. However, I would get hyper on it and talk fast and become restless and manic. In the later, months of taking it, I was feeling more depressed and suicidal.  I went to my Doc. again and I am now on Zoloft.  This took a month or so to kick in, but now i feel better.  I do feel guilty, though thinking about all of the things I was feeling before and worry I have caused to my family.  I am scared, these anti-depressants will wear off too, and I fear at any time I will go off the rails again!  I work and have done so for the last 21 years.  I have two children, who I adore.  I do get anger and mood swings at times, but I am usually a easy going person.  However, I do get mad thoughts and say stupid things a lot.  I sometimes laugh and talk to myself, I often feel like doing silly things.  I can have a mixture of moods, all in, one day. I sometimes, have sleep problems - too much or not needing a lot.  I don't know if i have clinical depression or a bit of bipolar dipression?? Any, advice our there?  Please, talk.  Thanks, Valba  
1 Responses
574118 tn?1305138884
Hi

Only pdocs can diagnose correctly, but my experience and readings tell me many overlapping symptoms occur simultaneously, so one can have affective disorder and comorbid with OCD, with obcessive thoughts.Mind you OCD by itself can make you extremely depressed like it did with me and wanting to die because you keep looping without being able to cut the chain of silly thoughts.

zoloft alone is tricky, true many BP pts take Ad's alone but in the majority of the cases an MS is advisable. Also the same person can pass through different phases. I can recall pretty well 3 years ago when i used to swallow 16 pills in one day during my 1st mania: neurazin (typical AP), risperisone, anafranil (tricyclic AD), dogmatil, haldol, stelazin, xanax, etc. .... now i am on 3 pills only. So one can have GAD along with PD, agoraphobia, etc... The worse is that the illness itself keeps changing. I had OCD only for 4 years, then I became BP. Of course some object to this statement, because either you are BP or not, I mean you can have traits of BP but an AD makes you cross the threshold and become clinically bipolar.

So whether you have bipolar depression or unipolar depression, it isn't straight forward to answer. All i can say try to avoid taking an AD alone, because they cause rapid cycling and mixed states. So either you combine it with an antipsychotic like seroquel or risperisone or zyprexa which is pretty tough MS though an AP, or opt for the classical MS (e.g lithium or AC) like the rest of the BP pts, of course this is only the decision of your pdoc

good luck
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