thanks for all your comments, I think half my problem is knowing how to live again. Before my diagnosis I didnt know any different, I just was me up down and sideways, its all I knew and I just went with my moods good and bad and I was an optimist always knowing when I was down it wouldnt last long. Now I know I am BP I seem to have changed, I am resisting the mood swings and I dont know how to get back to my old self.
I hate all this, I cant stand it, I just want to go back to when the day just happened and I didnt know. I actually hate myself now and I dont think I ever really hated myself before.
If you can't tolerate one medication you can ask your psychiatrist about other options. People need to stay on medication for life myself included. "Cured" is a hard term to define. I would more say stablized or recovered. With the antipsychotic agent I am on in Phase II FDA study I've had a basic full remmission of psychosis (as clinically determined) so treatments will improve over time as they learn more about how the brain functions. As for the mood stabilizer I am on Clonidine its not that great but I've tried everything else and I will be the first to know and start things once more are FDA approved. We have enough websites linked up for information on what's out there now that you could discuss with your psychiatrist and for a full list of medications in development google "psychmeds123". I believe within our life time there will be treatments that enable us to make a full recovery but medication will always be needed the same way a person with epilepsy if they stay on anti-convulsants can often never have seizures again. Its just a matter of reaching stability now with what's available and finding out about new medications as they become FDA approved and keeping informed and aware.
Maybe they just haven't found the right medications for you, for some people it can take years and you just have to persevere. There's also unlucky people who build up a tolerance but I think that isn't the case in your case because I think it takes months or something. I think that also when you first start taking a new medication your body is really doped up until it adjusts and then after a few weeks you find out how well the medication really works.
Hi Hell,
The truth is, at least for me, I don't think I can ever, truly, stop taking my medication. I have times where I feel good, that I'm okay and stable... that I can handle this life and everything else, but then when I crash, I know it was a mistake. A mental illness is just that... it's not something that can ever really be changed (without the constant help of an outside source), so unfortunately it is with us for life. Please keep us posted, velvetvenus suggestion is good about trying to see if something else might not be better, but I think it just also comes down to realizing that this is a lifelong illness, and medication comes with it. I am currently taking Lithium and Risperdone, as well as Vyvanse and Ambien to also help with my ADHD and insomnia.
Best of luck,
~* HoneyNut
it is common for bipolar patients to want to go off their meds, i go through it too and it always leads to a crash of some sort. if you are mentally ill you need to take your meds even when you feel good or you could have a major mood episode. if you aren't happy with your meds talk to your doctor, there are a lot of different meds out there but you have to be patient and give the meds time to work, and be persistant with your doctor. that's what they get paid for. you are a customer and don't forget that. i still have major mood episodes even on my meds but they are much worse when i'm off of them. just hang in there and if you need to try something else just tell your doctor. mental illness never goes away unless you believe in god and he sees fit to heal you. if you don't believe in god i didn't mean to offend you. god hasn't healed me yet for whatever reason, i think so i can help other's with mental illness and with my other afflictions. just come to terms with, you don't need to understand everything, just do your best to get as mentally healthy as possible. mental illness is for life. but we can learn to deal with it and stay on our meds. i take abilify as my antipsychotic for mania, it only mildly helps but it's a lot better than not taking it and it works different for different people. i tried zyprexa (orlanzapine) years ago and it did nothing for me but what works for one may not work for another. good luck and keep trying, and stay on your meds whatever meds your doc has you take, give them a chance to work. velvetvenus