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Avatar universal

infatuation?

V. embarrassed to have to ask this, but has anyone else gone through a period of infatuation with their therapist?
Do you think it's probably related to being hypomanic, orhaving someone finally "getting" you, or just that someone is paying undivided caring attention to you for an hour?
I'm not stupid, I get all the rational stuff  (I'm paying them, I see them in an isolated, unreal (not reality) context etc, I've got a mental disorder so I probably don't really see reality properly, plus all the other negative self talk, who'd be interested in me etc etc)
but it's still there for the moment. It would just be nice to know if it's happened to others at some point too.
Best Answer
952564 tn?1268368647
Hi,

When I was in college I wanted to be a psychiatrist and so I took a lot of psych classes and we actually studied this. It is a real thing that happens to a lot of people, but not all, and it is called Transferance, but I don't remember why exactly. This happens in exactly the type of situation you are describing: your psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist is listening and paying attention, even understanding, in ways no one else ever has most likely. This is not happening to you because you have an illness. It is happening to you because you're a human being.

Transferance can happen to people in a lot of situations, regardless of their mental health. Doctors are very aware of it and good, ethical doctors should not take advantage of patients with transferance (although bad ones sometimes do, and then later end up on the news and losing their license, etc.) You see this all the time in another area of our society: Hollywood Celebrities. Do you ever notice that actors and actresses that work together on a movie all of a sudden are dating and married, sometimes breaking up relationships they are already in, and then within a few years things go really bad and they split? Well, that's because working so closely together on a film, they go through transferance for each other, which they confuse for love. They take this "unreal" place they have to be in, usually involving a lot of emotion, and then when they get into the real world things often do not work out. That's because it isn't real love, it's transferance.

Anyway, it is nothing to be embarassed about and if you're comfortable doing so, tell your psychiatrist about it.
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952564 tn?1268368647
It really isn't a dumb question though. It is a good question because you didn't know and it is not something you experience alone, it's not abnormal, and it is healthy to know what is going on. In fact, some people think that transference is an important part of the healing process. You can also have other tranference like angry transference, fear, jealousy, anger, etc. From what I remember, some forms of therapy rely on transference to get you to start learning to express your feelings in healthy ways, and they do this by directing them at the therapist. (Like yelling at the therapist all the things you wanted to say to an abusive parent, etc.) So by dealing with the emotions you have of no one loves or understands you with your therapist, it will help you heal. Does that make sense?
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Avatar universal
thanks for your replies! I felt really stupid asking, but what's an internet forum for if you can't ask the dumb embarrassing questions??
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1327415 tn?1294057889
it hasn't happened to me but i would think that it is mainly because someone is finally getting you. just try and calm it down because you don't want to lose your therapist. good luck and just don't worry, you can control your emotions.
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