this site is a help to me

[therealfokker]

Not a question but a comment! I'm beginning to learn things from all the posts that are helpful with my search for a more
positive and functional relationship with my gf. All the jumping around, confusing statements, and inconsistencies that have plagued our communications do have meaning...it's just that i'm not seeing it very well, instead i have been reacting. I have let the Irish out in me! I get emotional and stop thinking, and feel threatened! I had never heard someone
threaten to kill herself before...threw me into a panic. I have very mixed feelings now. I don't want to keep playing the part off  being her "hero" and saving her from herself....very unhealthy mutually. I still want to show my love and i am not ready to abandon the relationship, but i have serious doubts about the future. Does anyone out there thinlk that she can bond emotionally, that she could be a co-equal partner, or am i just asking to much? Should i wait for her or confront her? She really hates confrontation with anyone...that for sure!

[therealfokker]

Thanks Amy...Sry got busy last nite! I want to affirm the knowledge i've gained here. 1st My gf is not the only one with emotional wishes ( her bf has his 2)...lol. 2nd I never knew how insensitive i could be, or should be trying to be more sensitive to her(learn to just let her talk)....this one willtake some time..lmao! 3rd make the most of the times we have, relax, do fun things, avoid drama that is nothing but venting or at least recognize when it is and let it go! I really love her and would be happy to walk thru life beside her. I guess will see what the future brings! Nurse Chuck

[Amy4891]

If she is not seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist that would be the first step. If she is not on medication I would recommend that too. The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about her illness so that you can have a better understanding of what she is going through.
I am not exactly sure what you mean by co-equal. I think anyone is capable of love and if you are there for her through her hard times she will probably love you more. Just like a person in a wheel chair or a blind person she will need to be with someone that can accept her illness as a part of who she is. With medication and therapy she can get better, but it is tough and she will need lots of support. I have a healthy relationship and I am bipolar so it is not impossible. I also have a partner who has been very supportive, understanding and patient.
Not to say it is completely impossible but if you expect her to be the same as a mentally healthy person I don't think that is going to happen. The medications help but they are no cure. I still have mood swings even though I am on medications they are just not as severe. I am on disability because I can't hold a job. I can't handle alot of stress or I get upset easy. There have been times when my boyfriend had to take care of our daughter because I wasn't able to. One day I had separation anxiety when my daughter first started pre-school so bad I was freaking out and my boyfriend came home early from work to make sure I was ok so changes can be difficult. Just to give you a few examples.
I guess it kind of depends on other factors like any relationship. Mostly personality it takes a special kind of person to be with anyone who has a major illness. I hope I have helped some. Good luck on your relationship.