Aa
Big Doubt. I might be the father?
I am in a bit of a dilemma. I had been seeing a girl on and off for a while but we slept together roughly 10 weeks ago. 2 weeks later she left on holidays to australia. she is back a couple of weeks but I only met her yesterday. She has informed me that she is pregnant but that it happened the week after I was with her. I don't want to get to graphic but when we were with each other, I did not finish 'inside' her. She told me that the guy she was with after me did finish inside her but that she took the morning after pill that morning. I obviously had my doubts and thought that there is at least a chance that it could be my baby. When I said this to her she said she was certain that it wasn't, that she knew that she only started her fertile phase the day that she was with the other guy. Can you tell me please, Can she be 100% certain of this?
Thank you in advance.
D
Thank you in advance.
D
Hi Annie, back again haha.
Your totally right I will take your advice completely. It is more stressful for her and more important to let her be and I totally respect that.
Just one thing, I don't know if it makes a difference but I now know that she had just completed her period the day before we slept together. Does this change the whole thing? does this say that I am not the father?
I have read in many other forums that women can most definitely get pregnant from having sex the day after finishing the period.
I just dont know.
D
Your totally right I will take your advice completely. It is more stressful for her and more important to let her be and I totally respect that.
Just one thing, I don't know if it makes a difference but I now know that she had just completed her period the day before we slept together. Does this change the whole thing? does this say that I am not the father?
I have read in many other forums that women can most definitely get pregnant from having sex the day after finishing the period.
I just dont know.
D
Take care, Daibhi. Be her friend during this unsure time, and make no demands or dramatic scenes. You have the right to request a test, but that is as far as you have, since you don't have a strong certainty that it absolutely must be your baby. As I said, things will straighten out with time. Pregnancy is a marathon, not a sprint, and letting it weigh heavily on your mind the whole time (when the baby might prove not to be yours) will not do anyone any good.
your a saint
Thank you very much for your help. You have been very informative. goodluck and thank you again.
D
Thank you very much for your help. You have been very informative. goodluck and thank you again.
D
Ovulation can be accompanied by a cramp in the ovary, but even that is a very subtle signal and doesn't always occur, or the woman doesn't always notice it. It's not like a period, that is five days long and accompanied by bleeding.
Don't sweat this. Time will straighten it out. Once the baby is born, if you do feel you need to know, you can quietly arrange for a DNA test, and this can even be done without the other guy knowing if your friend has not told him there is a possibility he is not the father. But let it drop for now, for your sake and hers. You have LOTS of time to straighten it out.
Don't sweat this. Time will straighten it out. Once the baby is born, if you do feel you need to know, you can quietly arrange for a DNA test, and this can even be done without the other guy knowing if your friend has not told him there is a possibility he is not the father. But let it drop for now, for your sake and hers. You have LOTS of time to straighten it out.
Thank you again. I really appreciate it. So ovulating is not something you would learn to recognise accurately over time?
No I won't hassle her and I do know of a reason why she would prefer it to be the other guy. Convenience as he has a job and I am a student which I understand and respect to a certain extent. I will always be amicable with her.
No I won't hassle her and I do know of a reason why she would prefer it to be the other guy. Convenience as he has a job and I am a student which I understand and respect to a certain extent. I will always be amicable with her.
I might also add, if she is insisting that she knows the other guy is the father because of knowing her fertile times, but was not taking ovulation tests or taking her temps every morning, there is the possibility she really, really wants the baby to be the other guy's, and the idea it might not is so uncomfortable for her that discussing the possibility it is yours might upset her for reasons having nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other guy. So, let the conversation lapse for now. There will be a lot of time to sort it all out once the baby comes. Don't get on her about it now.
If she slept with you one week and slept with another person the next week, and you did not ejaculate but the other person did (but the second time, she took the morning-after pill), you're both likely candidates. There is no way to assign odds.
But don't hassle her. Just be ready, once the baby is born, to quietly assert your right to a DNA test.
There is no way for her to be certain she ovulated at a certain time in her cycle unless she was testing for ovulation. A lot of women ovulate early, some ovulate at mid-cycle, some ovulate a little late.
But don't hassle her. Just be ready, once the baby is born, to quietly assert your right to a DNA test.
There is no way for her to be certain she ovulated at a certain time in her cycle unless she was testing for ovulation. A lot of women ovulate early, some ovulate at mid-cycle, some ovulate a little late.
Thank you so much for your answer. It is really weighing heavily on my mind.I can see from your ratings that you are very respected with your answers so I can take from that that you are very knowledgeable. I hope it would never come to an attorney, we are very good friends and that is why I would not want to push and hassle her unless I knew there was even an inkling of a chance. This might sound like a very childish question but if it came down to odds, from the information I have given, can you tell which is more likely? keeping in mind when we did it we used the "pull out method".
I just don't want to pursue it and ruin our friendship and stress her out (while pregnant) if it is not worth it.
And sorry just to clarify, there is absolutely no way of being sure of the fertility phase unless you are using the ovulation test kit?
Again, thank you for your answer.
D
I just don't want to pursue it and ruin our friendship and stress her out (while pregnant) if it is not worth it.
And sorry just to clarify, there is absolutely no way of being sure of the fertility phase unless you are using the ovulation test kit?
Again, thank you for your answer.
D
There is a chance the baby is yours, there is also the chance there is not.
Plan B should have worked if she took it the day after she had sex with the other guy. (It doesn't work if taken more than 72 hours after the unprotected sex.) The fact that it didn't work suggests she was already pregnant at the time.
The only way for her to be totally certain of her fertile time is if she was using an ovulation test kit at the time, and it doesn't sound like she was, or she wouldn't have been having unprotected sex unless she was trying to get pregnant. (And if she had been trying to get pregnant, she wouldn't have taken the Plan B.) There are average times in the cycle of an average woman where one might extrapolate that she is fertile, and the window is pretty short (only one day), but real people vary greatly around the average. If she is just saying thus-and-so days after my period, that is not really definitive. Unless she can say she knows she was ovulating because she was taking ovulation tests, the calendar is not going to prove anything.
Sperm can live five days (some say longer) in the woman's body, and given that she cannot be certain when she ovulated, you are within your rights to wonder if the baby is yours. You should request a DNA test once the baby is born. It sounds like she would not welcome this, so you will need an attorney's help.
Plan B should have worked if she took it the day after she had sex with the other guy. (It doesn't work if taken more than 72 hours after the unprotected sex.) The fact that it didn't work suggests she was already pregnant at the time.
The only way for her to be totally certain of her fertile time is if she was using an ovulation test kit at the time, and it doesn't sound like she was, or she wouldn't have been having unprotected sex unless she was trying to get pregnant. (And if she had been trying to get pregnant, she wouldn't have taken the Plan B.) There are average times in the cycle of an average woman where one might extrapolate that she is fertile, and the window is pretty short (only one day), but real people vary greatly around the average. If she is just saying thus-and-so days after my period, that is not really definitive. Unless she can say she knows she was ovulating because she was taking ovulation tests, the calendar is not going to prove anything.
Sperm can live five days (some say longer) in the woman's body, and given that she cannot be certain when she ovulated, you are within your rights to wonder if the baby is yours. You should request a DNA test once the baby is born. It sounds like she would not welcome this, so you will need an attorney's help.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Birth Control (Contraception) Community
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.
