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Avatar universal

Birth Control for teen who wants to get pregnant

My name is Jordyn and I'm 17 1/2 years old. I have wanted a kid of my own since I was 15. I know they are A LOT of hard work and it takes tons of time and patience to raise a child. But I feel empty, like a piece of me is missing. Everytime I see a pregnant woman I can't help but to get envious and depressed. I want a child of my own so bad. Maybe it's because I want someone to show love towards and to feel needed and loved. I can't help but to feel left out while nearly every single one of my friends are glowing over a pregnancy while I'm stuck at the sidelines watching. I know I need help but I have no idea where to turn. Please, please help me.
4 Responses
Avatar universal
Instead of concerning yourself with your pregnant friends - seek out friends/acquaintances/etc. who have already had their babies.  Ask teen moms of 1 year olds how much glowing they do now - and how loved they feel.  I can tell you from an old mom (37), that I feel lonely and I watch my friends and family do things I can't because I'm taking care of a baby.  I can't go to movies, I can't go on road trips... I can't even take my teenage daughter on a decent clothes-finding mission because the baby doesn't do well away from the house for more than an hour.  

I can tell you've put your brain into this whole thing since you figured out that your desire to have a baby is strongly linked to needing love.  If you feel like you're short on receiving love, a baby will just exacerbate the problem.  A baby doesn't come filled with love to give its parents... the parents fill the baby with love they already have and from there the baby learns to love back.  

In other words, if you REALLY want a child... the best thing you can do for that future child is wait long enough to get professional help to deal with your need for more love.  Once you have enough love inside of you (to pass on to a little one), then make sure you'll be able to feel secure materially (home, food, healthcare, toys, $$ for fun, etc.)  Then find yourself a good partner who will accept the good and bad of raising children.  THEN try for a baby.

If you find you're really looking for that mythical "unconditional love" - look somewhere else.  You're not ready to offer it to a baby, so your baby wouldn't be able to offer it back.  Then you'd be stuck feeling more alone, wondering why your baby screams so much in the middle of the night when all you want is some sleep, wondering why no one rushes to help you or pay attention to you, and why you thought losing all sense of yourself would make you feel loved (because when you have a baby - your life is all about the baby, never about you).  
1363198 tn?1278632079
I respect your feelings about having a baby but please DON'T do this at such a young age. Even if you were to completely be the best mother ever, what about providing a father in the home that helps raise and support you and the *potential* kid in the future? Please WAIT as you have at least 20 years ahead of you when you can have a kid later! Your kid (and You!) deserve to have a husband/father around. This is is one difficult world, especially for a single mom. It's not enough to want a child to love you as its mother, it has to be about what is right and healthy and best for the kid. Please don't base such a life decision on emotions at such a young age! You have plenty of time in the future. Look for the husband first!!! The rest will happen for you and him later!!
Avatar universal
i know this going to sound like im rushing into things but i have found my partner that i know i will be able to spend the rest of my life with. I know that right now i could not handle a child full-time. I know that completely. Me and my partner (engaged) have talked about this. I told him that i dont want a child until i have completed college. I just dont know where to turn to for help with my desire to have a baby. I have 5 friends of mine, all with kids of their own, and more on the way, and they couldnt be happier! Ive never seen them so happy. All of them have cleaned up their acts & have wonderful lives now. I just dont want that right now...but the desire is getting bigger everyday
Avatar universal
I know what that feels like I got pregnant when i was 19 years old  but let me tell you that is not the answer. its what i wanted every time that i saw a baby i just wanted to cry, i wanted something so fragile that needed me to take care of it and love it, but its so hard you cant imagine it I had a full time job before i got pregnant and due to complications i was put on bed rest at 22 weeks so i was forced to depend on the father for everything that i needed. I got so depressed to the point that i resented my baby for being born even though it was my choice to have her i suffered from postpartum depression for 9 months after she was born. I love my daughter more than anything but i wish that i would have waited longer. I have set her up to be a statistic she probably be a teen mother as well.
Just enjoy being a teen finish school dont try to grow up so fast like me its not as fun as it looks your world gets turned around and nothing is the same even going to the grocery store is an adventure you just cant get up one day call up your friends and go to the mall or on a road trip go to six flags its never the same everything just gets so hard i learned the hard way.
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