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Advice please....

Hi there....so I'm just looking for some advice on a situation i've found myself in.
My current partners ex wife has BPD, I've never met her and only know what i know about her
from him and his children and family, (not exactly a glowing report) so i went and read a book on it
myself (stop walking on eggshells) but i found it really bleak and one sided...
The reason I'm trying to understand what she goes through is because she's taken a serious dislike to me,
saying awful things about me and my partner to their children (who are mostly still very young)
I know i couldnt have done anything to deserve this as I dont know her and she doesnt know me, my
partner says its coming from her fear of abandonment and as I'm the first relationship he's had since they
broke up (4 years ago) that she's having trouble facing the fact its really over.

So basically my question is, how do i handle this or do i just not handle it and leave it completely up to him.
I dont want to be on bad terms with her and if someone was spending time around my son I'd want to know them and at least be able to be amicable. As far as i know she's not currently being treated but does go to therapy with the children although i think thats less to do with her BPD and more to do with her relationship with the kids

please help!
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