Borderline Personality Disorder Community
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Avatar universal

BPD but not like the sterotype

I was recently diagnosed with BPD. My anger and shifts in emotion don't focus on others quite like I have been reading. Instead, it's focused inward (mostly). I can have moments of hard to see straight fury and the drop down into the depths of depression heartbeats later. It's intimidating and honestly upsetting. When I do have the shifts in how I view others, it's usually how I perceive the way they feel about me. I swing between confident assurance that I am part of the circle of friends that I have to feeling like they're just tolerating my presence.

It's awful and can color how I feel about things that happen during the day. It also hinders my ability to be patient with my children. The worst part, however, is the awful feeling of disconnect that seems to seep into everything. To somebody else it may look like I'm having a great day but I feel numb and am just putting on a happy face so that I don't raise any eyebrows. I read about other people with BPD and I find myself bewildered. Does the fact that I am loyal to my husband and I generally am conflict avoidant mean that I may have been improperly diagnosed?
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi, unfortunately not i have been diagnosed with BPD and have been with my partner for 14yrs and i also avoid confilct i also act in or become so depressed i hurt myself. You only need five out of the nine critera to be diagnosed.
I understand its a horrible way to feel the mood changes and depression, one day i feel ok and feel liked the next i could feel that everyone hates me thats all part of the illness.
Avatar universal
it's reassuring to hear that i'm not the only one that those kind of mood shifts happens to. i'm sorry to hear that it happens to you too. it's a really crappy thing. :P
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