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Borderline Personality Disorder Community
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Avatar universal

BPD in Depok support group

My wife has BPD as diagnosed some 4 years ago by Dr. Tun, who is an outstanding psychiatrist and frequently works at the Dharmawangsa Sanatorium. I am an expat but I lost my job here and we're now surviving on my Australian pension, so we cannot continue to see Dr. Tun. The medication (mainly Cipralex) helps my wife enormously but it's not a cure for BPD.

I'm suspicious that there are far more sufferers in Indonesia in general who simply cannot afford to get serious medical help for this condition. My wife sometimes goes through dreadful memories of her past when she was brutalised as a child, which I'm sure wasn't a deliberate thing. The culture of raising children here was (and probably still is) very ignorant of the mental damage that is created and gives hallucinatory effects, the drive to suicide, maybe the drive to become a psycopath etc. etc. Sometimes my wife (who has a beautiful heart) just doesn't know what to do, but I get blamed. She has 2 personalities and after a BPD seizure, she tends to have amnesia about whatever she did, which is usually something like a caged wild animal would do. When I can afford Cipralex, that helps enormously, but she's wondering if she can EVER get rid of the memories of her past, that continually come back to haunt her. My wife needs self understanding to try and get her back to some form of normality without the Cipralex.

People on this site explain that they are having problems but the posts are very far apart timewise. My biggest problem talking to other people in Indonesia is I am hopeless at learning languages, so I only speak English. I'd be willing to talk to a group of people to SETUP a Group Support for BPD (and maybe BiPolar if that's very similar) somewhere in Depok. Professionals are not going to do it because this sick world is based upon money, and I can understand that. No money no food on the table. It's these types of conditions which if the problem is big enough, should have Government help.
Anyway. Does anyone want to take up the discussion with me, or hopefully, a larger group?
1 Responses
Avatar universal
I am currently in therapy as I have bpd.  The only thing I have learned so far about bad memories is radical acceptance.  You cant get rid of the past or change it.  You apparently just have to learn to accept it is what it is.  Experience the emotions that come with the memories but dont hold them.  Let the emotions flow through you.  It's extremely hard to not become overwhelmed by the emotions.  So far I am unable to do this but Im trying.  I continually get caught in my emotions and cant escape.  I was in DBT but couldnt manage to complete the work past chapter 2 but the therapist was very angry and critical and she stopped my progress.  I would advise looking into DBT for your wife it has skills for dealing with emotions and how to regulate them.  Good luck.
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