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Borderline PD. dumped me

Hello, I am really sorry for my english, But need serious help. So my story .. I was with girl for about few months .. I know I know it's not normal fall in love in someone for that short time period. But damn, I did. She were like girl from my dream, not that beautiful but wonderful anyway. I was hero for her, her savivor, she slept with me after 7 day after met. We were talking about children, and how ****** up out lives are, most people hurting us etc... Well she were full of lies, being optimistic fake, acting like little child, nerd at school, mommy little girl at home, and my personal real dream at night .... She told me how bad were that boyfriends before me, how nobody likes her etc etc ... so bassicaly I was the only one, and the BEST, cute handsome, killer, strong type. So I melted. Well than it's come ... her depressions, hallucinations, being angry and I was the bad one because I was about solving her and our problems, when she don't give a ****.  So one day she left me, she woke up, said ''good morning darling'' let her night stuff and jewels there and go out ... nothing wrong, about one hour later i get sms her mother told me to stay away from here, that she want end relationship with me ... Well it wasn't joke ... in her 18y ... her mommy wrote me to stay away ... like I damn hurt her or something. So it was over. Mostly... I was broken as hell, remembered she has some personality disorder, and that helps me a lot to understand whats happen. Hoever, I did for her so much to change her to be adult, non depressing, and been very happy to be her hero. She changed herself after broke up, start hanging out with lonely moron who see us when we were together, like us photos etc... now he hanging out with her, I warned him abou her, well he don't give a damn. Now I see her with him, she has no contact (even eye) with me or anybody who is close to me. She changed her hair color etc... and plays miss happy, And I am another ******* who hurt her... Well I trying change myself how it's possible, change my overthinking, start running, doing silly stuff, start reading books about positive thinking, blocked her, and that idiot she hangs out with. But still thinking about her ... how she fu*** with him right now, or whatever just only that she is happy, she changed herself, I did here my energy and she left same pathetic, and now after brake up she is miracle cured ... At least she look like that ... and I  ? After how much I love myself, and get surranded by friends and other who loves me, I still hate her for how much she hurted me, lied, promised something, for hanging out with that ****, for her ''change'', nobody will do things for her like I did, but she didn't care, just using random idiot to not be alone, and when I almost killing myself at home, she is kissing or ******* with her new pray. This helpless, deprresion, still hurt after 42 days only when I see her ... because my dream come true ... come into real nightmare, even my worst dreams can't stand to this
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Oh yea ... I should mentioned her mother doesn't know me but she were against me from start ... She must go on university and don't have children with you and other things ... Oh and .. she told about her asexuality, that she can't feel much ... and she had some anti sexual block in the head after something happen in her childhood ( she spoted her parents in bed, and father were really mad on her, also her first sex was after another brake up, on antidepressions and drunken with some ******* who were using her after that many times, - well she let him to using her ..  Hoever she has very bad relationship with sex, even not masturbating, shaving etc ... which made her bad target for lonely horny guys ... but after her change. .. damn everything is possible  
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