My grand children's mother had bpd. They are 7 and 9. The 7 year old is a girl and her mother views her as mini (meaning she is just like her mother and perfect). The 9 year is a boy and he is viewed as bad ( just as all men to their mother). He is showing signs of aggression. The mother screams at him all the time and jumps on him for things that happened weeks ago. She hits him and has threw things at him. He screams back at her. He is resentful of his sister ( I think because the mother babies her). He talked to me the other day and said that his mother needs to go to a doctor. Both kids say they hate her. My question is should I explain her disease to them and in what depth? Luckily both kids go to their dads a lot (shared parenting). They are both during very well at school and very involved in sports. They do get breaks from her. However when they go to their dads their step brother who is the same age (9) has adhd. He has to share a room with his step brother ( who is not on medication and acts out the way children with adhd act out). My grandson told me the same day that his step brother needs to go to the doctor too. The mother of his step brother does not want to tell the kids he has adhd. She is afraid he be labeled. However my grandson being the same age knows something is wrong with him. I recently have told him that he just cant concentrate to try and help him understand why his step brother behaves the way he does. I need help in knowing how to help my grand children understand both conditions with their mother and step brother.