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1378381 tn?1444869615

Hallucinations related to BPD?

I have been prown to the odd hallucinations, mostly shaddows and the like when i'm on the edge.
But last night was the worst, I had bugs all over my bed and it really creeped me out. Atleast 3 attacks of it bearly a few minutes between. I tried to keep as calm as possible, and my partner was with me talking with me hugging me and reassuring me that it wasn't real but it was soo hard. Soo vivid and I was in soo much terror.
I have never had such a vivid hallucination of these creatures.
I really don't why or how it could have gotten soo bad.
It's never been soo bad.
I've been paranoid for years and it comes and goes, past few weeks its been a lot worse again. And I think it might be linked somehow. I feel like someone/people are watching me constantly. Since I was young its the way its been but its become more to the front of my mind again. Having to fall asleep with lights on (we had tealights on last night but it just ment i saw the bugs worse). Having to close the blinds because I see a red light on the satelite thing and I know people are watching.

I don't think I'm mad but the hallucination of bugs makes me doubt myself.

(I've been stressed out due to our neighbour being a theaf and police being involved and such with my partner as gifts she had bought for me were taken by him and we found out yesterday, i dont know if its just stress.. ive never been soo out of my head.)

Someone know what to do. is it to do with bpd? i talked once about it at the mental hospital but they just passed by it with no regard(when it was just the shaddows)
12 Responses
Avatar universal
You would need to talk to a psychiatrist to get it evaluated correctly.

Psychotic features can be seen in people with bpd (and the stress could show a direct link between the two) but I think that you should talk to a doctor about it.

Certain (illegal) drugs can also do this to a person.

A doctor may propose taking an anti-anxiety med or an antipsychotic.  They may also change your diagnosis or add to it.  Hard to know but it sounds as though you could benefit from having these symptoms treated.

Sorry I couldn't give you a more definitive answer.  As the symptoms have changed and are affecting you you should discuss it with a doctor.
1378381 tn?1444869615
Heys,

Yeah I need to go to docs on thursday anyway.. to check out progress with my pain meds.
I don't use illegal drugs. I have smoked the odd joint but nothing in the past 2months or so. And never more than a few puffs from a friend.
I found out that I have a very addictive personality (runs in the family from my grandparents down to me) So I don't know what that would do to the circumstances surrounding other medications. They are always changing my diagnosis..
Last night I couldn't talk, I go through bouts where I know what I want to say but its like I can't I can't physically talk. I've had it before and its been happening for a few days as well. I know to get round it just either write if i can or write it with my finger onto my partners arm so she understands, its hard, frustrating but its the only way) I've gotten soo paranoid about it that I had to have her sit in the bathroom last night while i showered.. and i sat facing the other way while she showered.. I feel soo pathetic for it but I really didn't want to be alone.

Thank you for at least trying.
Its not fair on my partner at all. Just need to know what I'm best to do.
Avatar universal
Hey

I think it would be best to discuss this with your doctor on Thursday too.

Pain could be the culprit and what is wearing you down and leaving you vulnerable.  Mood affects perception of pain but pain also affects mood.  Getting on top of any pain would be important.

With the drugs I was just trying to say that you can get drug-induced psychosis.  Some people are more sensitive than others and can be affected by smaller amounts.

Do you mean addictive as in addicted to meds?
Maybe there is mental illness or issues or lack of coping skills running in the family?  Whatever has happened in your family it is best that you treat symptoms that are affecting you.  Family stuff can provide clues but it's not the whole picture.

My memory has been pretty poor due to lack of concentration and retention due to stress.  I'm sorry you're having to repeat yourself when I have a feeling you've already disclosed some of this information.

One would have thought that they'd have a concrete diagnosis by now.
The diagnoses that they change between should be fairly similar though, hence their confusion.  I guess regardless of diagnosis if you treat the symptoms you should get there in the end (recover or manage the illness if that is what it requires).

I think that's extreme emotional stress that prevents you from verbalising what it is you want to say.  I'm wondering if that may be preverbal stuff too.  Stuff that is so sensitive (and dating back to a younger age) that you can't put words to what you think and feel.
I've had that happen to me too but I think for me I haven't felt safe communicating.  Actually I expect that is the same for you too.

I think that it's more preverbal than dissociative.  Not sure.  It could be both.  They are both anxiety related though.

Is best to talk to your doctor  but ultimately I think that therapy would be most helpful.
I think the answer is to get good psychological support and to work through the underlying issues.

It sounds easy enough but in reality it is quite complicated (but worth it).
1378381 tn?1444869615
Heys

Yeah I think I shall. The pain only is there when i've been walking around or on my feet for too long and one week a month. so its not a constant stressor. When I'm in pain I admit I'm most vulnerable but I can't seem to do anything to stop it, so I'm gonna demand some help cause coping isn't working.

I kinda know what you mean, I've only ever had a problem when alcohol is too high in my system and I know to keep my limits in that case. Yeah I understand that
Yes I mean addictive in the case of I can get addicted easily to anything, like self harming, like alcohol, medications. Anything at all. I know of an addiction to alcohol in my mother parents,both of, and my father is addicted to stealing things (but he controls it, klyptomania) and both parents had addictions to smoking, mother still does.
I know what ever is in family isn't me, but it can directly effect me, such as the addictive personality (then again I forget soo much I don't get addicted as much i dont think)

It's okay about asking me things again. Its better to go over things a few times than not to.

I get told one things and treated for another, the most recent thing i was treated for was bpd and anxiety. Although I have mild ocd its not severe enough for treatment.

I've never been one for talking, never. The past year is the most I have ever talked to anyone. The stress of being moved group in college scares me and I know I wont talk there. But with my partner I should always be able to talk. I hear the words in my head I just can't speak. When I did it with my partner before instead of writing it down i would draw the letters on her hand with my finger, or on her chest. I did it yesterday when it happened and it seemed to work, and she did it back. and eventually it just comes back. Sometimes its just a few minutes but two nights ago it was for over an hour..

These words I'm not exactly sure on but I think I know what you mean. Fear of talking and saying the wrong things has always kept me silent. But when it happens for no reason it annoys me, and communication becomes so slow. Nothing I can do about it, except wait for it to pass i guess.

I've been to therapy now 2times, its helped but after bearly a few months i'm back down again and can't work through. I don't comprehend why, but i guess probably because i never exactly say everything. I don't like talking. It's not my strong people. I can say I'm fine to them and they believe me even if im sitting almost in tears because I saw a bird and got scared it was coming for me.. (sound pathetic i know, but that did happen. still dont know why i was soo scared of it)

Yeah I know.. just want to not be such a burden on people. Dont want to keep ems up all night because im soo restless(she cant sleep as it is). Aint fair on her that she has to drop everything for me..

Thank you again though. Im thinking I may just phone tomorrow and get it over and done with to be honest..
1378381 tn?1444869615
Went today to see the doctor. Took my partner.
They've referred me back to the people I saw before. I've to go back in two weeks. Till then I've to put up with these issues.
My partner bought Nytol to see if it might help. Its doubtful but the doctor isn't exactly understanding..
I don't think i've been soo scared of a doctor in my life, than i was of this guy..
That and the letter they got from the mental health team said they discharged me because I didnt show up (which isn't true, I always showed up, and if I wasn't able to make it I'd phone as far in advance as possible, I couldn't help being primary carer for my dad at that point in time, with him being ill i had to go home.)
I'm sooo angry and upset. All they've done is said. oh look at this website..
ITS A LOAD OF BULL....
I'm too nice to say.. He didn't even read my notes til after we were in and mentioned it..
Ahh...
Avatar universal
Being scared doesn't make for a good doctor-patient relationship.

The mhs can be extremely ?insensitive and definitey, at times, lack understanding and respect.

I need to go to town now.  Was hoping to respond to your last post but just haven't had the time.  Have painters here.

If you need too, feel free to vent here.
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