Make sure your guns are securely locked in a safe and the keys are in a very safe place. She could become rapidly suicidal some times. Our couples counselor recomended "Walking On Egg Shells" for my husband to read. Couples therapy would be helpful. It is for us.
Uh... I need a few really big safes. I'm a big time gun fan / hunter. Generally speaking, she doesn't know how to use them though. Years ago I showed her for home / self protection, but she wasn't too interested. Never mind that she works in the medical industry, and I'm certain if she chose that route, it wouldn't be by use of a firearm (I truly don't think I have to worry about suicide, knowing some of her own personal convictions...) But, that is a good point.
I have ordered a book. It's something along the lines of "the family guide for living with a family member with BPD."
I'm a little unclear from your response as to which one of you has BPD. Could you clarify?
Couples therapy... I wish. She has never been one to open up with feelings. Many years ago, while still dating, I struggled to get her into therapy with me. She reluctantly agreed, and it wasn't a good experience. I've mentioned counseling a few times, and she most often times replies with bitterness, declaring that she doesn't need it. So, I have to be careful about how often, and how I approach this - less it become something she'll simply never consider.
Considering the recent times - a close family member just passed away. She does not deal well at all with death. I'm very fearful of what may come.
Again, I anxiously await the book I ordered. I've looked online at many sites, forums, etc... And although she hasn't been diagnosed, I clearly see the many things to indicate that she has BPD. It was by mention of my counselor that I look it up.
I'm very committed to this relationship. My own convictions / beliefs do not allow for divorce or remarriage. So, I'm here for good. Whomever you may be, young46, please reply... I can read, read, read... But talking with someone that has first hand experience is so very valuable.
I look forward to hearing back.