Aa
A
A
A
Close
Borderline Personality Disorder Community
1.45k Members
Avatar universal

Help with Borderline spouse

Folks,

I feel completely lost.  I have no idea what to do.  Although not diagnosed with BPD, my wife has been diagnosed with MDD.  I'm anxiously awaiting a book in the mail.  Anybody else out there living with a spouse who has been diagnosed with BPD?  Coping is hard...  I'm currently in counseling (alone.)  
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Make sure your guns are securely locked in a safe and the keys are in a very safe place. She could become rapidly suicidal some times. Our couples counselor recomended "Walking On Egg Shells" for my husband to read. Couples therapy would be helpful. It is for us.
Avatar universal
Uh...  I need a few really big safes.  I'm a big time gun fan / hunter.  Generally speaking, she doesn't know how to use them though.  Years ago I showed her for home / self protection, but she wasn't too interested.  Never mind that she works in the medical industry, and I'm certain if she chose that route, it wouldn't be by use of a firearm (I truly don't think I have to worry about suicide, knowing some of her own personal convictions...)  But, that is a good point.

I have ordered a book.  It's something along the lines of "the family guide for living with a family member with BPD."  

I'm a little unclear from your response as to which one of you has BPD.  Could you clarify?  

Couples therapy... I wish.  She has never been one to open up with feelings.  Many years ago, while still dating, I struggled to get her into therapy with me.  She reluctantly agreed, and it wasn't a good experience.  I've mentioned counseling a few times, and she most often times replies with bitterness, declaring that she doesn't need it.  So, I have to be careful about how often, and how I approach this - less it become something she'll simply never consider.  

Considering the recent times - a close family member just passed away.  She does not deal well at all with death.  I'm very fearful of what may come.  

Again, I anxiously await the book I ordered.  I've looked online at many sites, forums, etc...  And although she hasn't been diagnosed, I clearly see the many things to indicate that she has BPD.  It was by mention of my counselor that I look it up.

I'm very committed to this relationship.  My own convictions / beliefs do not allow for divorce or remarriage.  So, I'm here for good.  Whomever you may be, young46, please reply...  I can read, read, read... But talking with someone that has first hand experience is so very valuable.  

I look forward to hearing back.
Popular Resources
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Here’s how your baby’s growing in your body each week.
These common ADD/ADHD myths could already be hurting your child
This article will tell you more about strength training at home, giving you some options that require little to no equipment.
In You Can Prevent a Stroke, Dr. Joshua Yamamoto and Dr. Kristin Thomas help us understand what we can do to prevent a stroke.