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Borderline Personality Disorder Community
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Avatar universal

PLEASE HELP, intense paranoia.

Hi, I suffer from BPD, I also have severe paranoia but am only wanting to talk about the main issue I am suffering with right now. For many years there has always been a “second me” they seem alien, we communicate but we often have conflict, I call them alien as they don’t know many things, therefore resulting in me kind of teaching it. Now my mind is great and destroying any good, it doesn’t want me to be happy, I’m a very self destructive person and end up pushing people away, my mind thrives from it, but I don’t, I hate it, anyways, I am now finally in a
Happy relationship, things couldn’t be better with him, but my head doesn’t like it, my head is forcing me to belive what it’s telling me, which is that I become them in my sleep and message people on my phone, my brain is thinking hm what could ruin her relationship and it instantly goes to cheating, and I would like to make it clear that I would never ever ever cheat, all I want is to be happy with my partner, but my head won’t let me, before I go to bed I wrap my phone in items of clothing, I check it multiple times, and I hide it and place heavy objects on top so that the person I become in my sleep won’t be able to move it, today especially it’s making me feel like I’ve done something really bad, I feel like at any moment my partner will message me telling me that we’re finished, when he takes a while to reply my paranoia goes overboard and leads to me being very suicidal, most days I am suicidal due to my mental health, I’m struggling, and today it’s all getting too much and I just really need some reassurance or some help for this, thanks.
2 Responses
1551327 tn?1514045867
I noticed you didn't get a response and it has been a few days so I want to ask how you are?
Avatar universal
Are you going to therapy? If no, you definitely should. If yes, talk to your therapist. Sometimes I call the suicide hotline when I'm getting this way. They are usually very helpful in calming my paranoia
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