Borderline Personality Disorder Community
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10507163 tn?1442319914

Please help me I'm losing all control

I just need help, I need someone to talk to. I have BPD, depression and social anxiety and its taking over my life. I don't know how to deal with it when I don't have a psychiatrist or psychologist to talk to which is 98% of the time... if anyone has any tips please feel free to tell me, how do you do it? How do you cope? I'm sick of feeling hopeless.
8 Responses
Avatar universal
I'm sorry no one has answered your post until now. Sometimes the forums can be a little slow.
I take it you are in therapy since you said you don't have a therapist to talk to 98% of the time?
My daughter was diagnosed with BPD. I took many years to get this diagnosis because her Dr thought it was depression and anxiety. As her mother, I knew it was much more then that so that's when I started doing my research. At first I thought she might be bi-polar but when when I researched BPD I knew that's what it had to be. Her therapist confirmed her diagnosis. She sees a therapist once a week but is not getting the right type of therapy, which is DBT. Is that that kind of therapy you're getting?
I wanted to tell you a little bit about myself. It can help when you first talk to someone.
It's not a hopeless situation. The one good thing about BPD  compared to some of the other disorders is that it is very treatable. You do have to be in the right kind of therapy though. It's so crucial.
I wish I could tell you how to cope with this. I have severe anxiety myself along with depression and have learned coping skills.I take medication for my depression and I also have medication for panic attacks. I'm not pushing medication and I know that it's not always the answer but it can help at times. I'm wondering if you can take something to at least help with your anxiety? There's also medications to help with BPD too.
I'm here to listen and talk with you any time you want. I really wish I could be of more help with giving you tips. There are several really good books that you could read. My daughter has bought many for herself so I'll see if I can get the titles for you.
10507163 tn?1442319914
Thank you so much for replying, I've been having therapy for years but wrong type of therapy. I had a bit of a break where I was on no medication or counselling but am getting back into my treatment, I'm currently on 10mg of Abilify but haven't really noticed much changes.

My psychiatrist won't prescribe me and medication for my anxiety or depression because I'm smoking too much marijuana which he says will counteract the pills. I'm fairly certain I'm addicted because I've been smoking daily for the last 4 years and I haven't been able to stop for longer than a week, I've even been to a detox center for it but I cant stop. People expect me to just be strong and discipline myself but its like a compulsion to do it. I'm seeing a drug and alcohol counsellor but she likes using tough love which really doesn't help because I'm so sensitive..

I'd love to hear some book suggestions, I recently printed out a DBT handbook to work through but I'd like to read about other people's personal experiences too.
Avatar universal
It is me Andrea....I already wrote to you...I have been a near death alcoholic
(delirium tremens) NOW SOBER FOR 28 YEARS !!! It is a blessing,no cravings whatsoever.ALL psycopharmaca demands no alcohol And I did smoke a lot,a lot of Marihuana.Left it as well..I know that makes me your archenemy.Will not pester you . Do what you think you must do.....BUT with
Borderline you will end up really,really bad :HELL.Remember I am 62 years old.....Ritalin could help a lot due to increased Dopamine.Many Borderliner have anyway ADHD..  Take care and ignore people which only say : "pull yourself together" Take advice how THE ULTIMATE DRUNK & DRUGGY overcame this See I am fighting for you
Avatar universal
Dear Tessa,
I am happy that you did reply in an instant.Need to figure out the timezones.We are time Washington DC time
or 5 hours behind GMT,London.And you are in Perth,Australia.Right?Many thanks for asking about some stories
and advice.As I am living with my wife in a remote location in the Amazon,60 miles from La Paz I feel very
Borderline-lonely as you are.On top I am agorophobic and only once a month I pass the doorstep to leave for the capital city La Paz to get my fingernails "acrylicpasted".I do play contemporary classical guitar and spend all day
long with practicing.Unusual italian stuff,bizarre,but very beautiful.......Tessa, I am so willing to help you and myself that I would like to suggest  that using SKYPE would be the solution.I could bring you to laugh and sometimes we weep,because we must keep in mind that we have the same cruel mental illness round our neck,bloody Borderline....................
Will you give it a try ? It is calling for free.It cannot get any better.AND by no means I could become your stalker.
First I am an old "fart" AND we are thousands of miles apart.I could become your favorite Audiobook,funny stories while being "Druggy" and soothing therapeutic Borderlinetalk.Mind you I have been for decades in therapy and all
the docs did not have a clue and do not know the depths of psycopharmaca I know of.From my side shame on them.They simple do not have a clue about our gruesome sufferings.LET ME KNOW PLEASE and if you would send me your e-mail adress I could send you a few amazonic pictures,without text.Now I will educate myself silly
to find a non weightgaining alternative to Mirtazapine,the add on to Abilify.The two do the trick!!!Gosh,docs do really "love"overeducated patients...ha,ha Looking forward hearing from you  Best wishes  Andrea....new me  
Avatar universal
I really don't think it's that uncommon for people that have BPD to use marijuana because it can help with anxiety. Think about giving an anti anxiety medication a try and you might feel that you don't need marijuana. You are not weak because you use it and I would bet the people who think it would be easy to stop don't have BPD or anxiety
I didn't think any thing could help my anxiety, and I had it really bad along with severe panic attacks. My Dr put me on an antidepressant because I also have depression and some antidepressants can actually help anxiety too. It really made a difference. Of course I was also in therapy at the time
Prescribing medications for BPD can be a little tricky. There are indeed meds that can help. If I were your Dr I would start you off on an anxiety med first to see how you do. Many people with BPD do well and usually don't have a problem with anxiety meds.
How long have you been on Abilify?If it's been less then 6 weeks then maybe it hasn't been enough time for it to start working. You might also need a dose increase. If you've been on it longer then 6 weeks and try a dose increase and still feel like it's not helping then it would be time to think about a different medication. Know that every time a med is increased it's kind of like starting from the beginning and you will need to give it another 6 weeks again.
10507163 tn?1442319914
I would like to try out something like that for my anxiety, I was on Paxam but it was hard to tell if it helped because I was on a lot of other medications at the time. I don't know if my psychiatrist will prescribe me anything though, he said he doesn't want to prescribe me anti depressants while I'm still smoking the amount I am so it might be the same case with the anti anxiety medication..

I have been on Abilify for around 6 weeks now, I think it just starting to work. I would compulsively pick the skin on my fingers until it bled and I never thought I could stop but now I am doing it significantly less. My dosage has been increased and I started the higher dose the other day so hopefully my mood swings will be less intense. I guess I will find out in 6 weeks.
16098029 tn?1445283760
I just joined this community....how have things been going for you, Tess? Getting better? I could use a success story right about now...
10507163 tn?1442319914
You know what, I wasn't expecting to say this but I think I am getting better.. very slowly I've been noticing good things happening in my life. Whereas before all I could see was the negative, it could be my medication working or could be something else. I just got a job at a dog kennel looking after/ playing with dogs, its like a dream job for me and its working I can do it I think! I have never worked full time because of my ''issues'' and have just gone from 8 hours a week to 24 hours a week and I've been able to do it. I did have to go home early yesterday because I got dizzy/ weak but I think they understand. I have low iron so that can happen if I work too hard which I told them about.

I have also met someone that makes me very happy, I've noticed that I actually smile when I'm around him because I find my cheeks are hurting. Its really hard for me to have a good relationship with someone but at the moment I haven't had many negative feelings about him and we've been hanging out for over a month, so I hope it stays this way.

Thank you for asking how I am, how are you? You can message me if you'd like to talk about anything
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