I am so depressed and angry at the world. I have seen a shrink for 15 years and he retired from his private practice (he diagnosed me with chronic depression). Last year, my brother died, and I found out I have cancer. I have had 3 surgeries to remove all the cancer. I also am an insulin-dependent diabetic. I couldn't stop crying, and asked the cancer people to send me to a shrink. After waiting nearly 6 months, I saw one and have been diagnosed with BPD, as well as the depression. It explains a lot I never understood about myself. I was only allowed one visit - no more. I am estranged from my family, and have no friends at all. I just turned fifty, and am fat. The waiting list for a shrink here is 2-3 years. I fear I will commit suicide before then. Can I live with this disorder somehow? Without further help? I feel my life is over, I hate my job, I am lonely. My cat is the oly love I get and give.