I'm 37 year old female. Years ago people would say I'm so envious of your life..my marriage, my daughters, my husband. It was all facade. I was beautiful on the outside...my family picture perfect on the outside.
My entire life has felt like I've been living on a roller coaster. One in which dives into the depths of abyss then up into the highs of beautiful prisms. Misdiagnosis from bi poloar, severe depression, manic episodes, BPD, to abundant medication treatments.
Then of course not limited to suicidal attempts and week long stays in mental institutions. I've been addicted to drugs, had well over 60 sexual partners. Just recently discovered I'm HPV and HSV positive.
I've lost countless employment positions, friends, a 15 year marriage and have not been able to connect to my daughters completely.
I will not ask for pity, I will not cast blame on a tormented childhood. What I can do from this moment forward is accept my past, not use people or this disease as a crutch as I have in the past and think positive.
Be grateful that I have a today to experience regardless of imperfections.
Nothing is ever perfect.
Tomorrow is waiting for me and for once I'm excited.