Avatar universal

is it difficult for a person with BPD to hold down a job, if so why?

I have BPD and dont have a job right now but have had several in the past. I either get bored, get stressed, sometimes paranoid, think Im not being included, copy how other people behave at work so I can be liked too. I also get very cross very quickly, Ive been sacked several times, or just left  sometimes really good jobs cause somewhere in my head I conviced myself they were going to fire me and I couldnt face the pain of it....Im in my 50's my husband has a job thats reasonable income but we need to save more money as retirement looms. Help, what can I do?. Get a job and suffer again or wait it out and just get along with the money we have saved for retirement.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
OMG!!!! Not to be weird thruthseeker16 but your my twin in the world. I too have BPD and Yes it is sooo hard to keep a job. I too had multiple good jobs but left them making styling decisions. I blow up at little things too, especially questions I feel that person knows already and is just trying to get to me by asking me anyway. I hope you found the help you needed. I am starting DBT dialectal behavior therapy soon. And it is a specific treatment for BPD's.
Avatar universal
Me 2. I also have BPD and found it difficult keeping jobs. I hated working with lots of other people and also would get stressed and lash out quickly. Thankfully, for that reason, I've been approved as 'disabled' and no longer have to have a job to go to anymore.
20807950 tn?1516900251
20807950 tn?1516900251
Many times, the type of job that you have will determine how circumstances will affect you. In food service, the pressure of having to move fast, or having rude customers or toxic co-workers can really trigger harsh emotion and paranoia. So, in a fast food or restaurant setting, you want people who are intelligent, low key and understanding and you want to have a mind and emotional stance where you can put up with pressure, rude customers, rushes, harsh conditions at work and long hours.
For clerical work, the office environment should be one that again, is low key, where privacy is afforded. In office settings, receptioning, having back stabbing or gossipy co-workers, or petty co-workers can trigger and cause a lot of instability. Receptioning takes a lot of emotional intelligence and focus and lots of emotional strength. If you are stuck in a job of a clerical nature that is negative, the best way to deal with it, is to take each day as it comes, work with your therapist on DBT, take your meds if you have them as prescribed and to take walks if allowed. Daily walks boost endorphins, get you out of the monotony of the office setting and help you to feel better.  If you need to look for another job, then do so. Whether or not the clerical job is stressful, using earbuds if they allow music is great. Also, there is an app you can get called "Woebot" from Samford University that can assist with daily check ins and basic emotional support to augment having a regular therapist. The "Woebot" chatbot can assist reframing and "Stinkin' thinkin." Also, if you are saavy (which I am not, but if you are) you can always learn how to speak in an assertive way and learn office etiquette. Filing jobs  and document scanner jobs are the least stressful amongst the clerical jobs. If you are high functioning or can manage  your Borderline well, you can also do more professional jobs such as teaching or civil engineering, if you can manage your emotions well.
  The general course of life may (may  meaning that each person is different) eventually have you finding your core personality, then learning to deal with negative thoughts, learning to say "No" and set boundaries, self management, and then the final piece is dealing with getting too emotionally attached. Depending upon your functional level, you can learn to manage your "ism" and remember that your "ism" is not you.
So, each person with Borderline knows their own limitations and each person with Borderline knows whether or not disability, or a Voc  Rehab job or regular job will help them. You DO have an inner core, however soft it may be, an inner self and what you need to learn to do is to love yourself enough to be able to tune into that inner self because it can give you proper guidance.
Resources for young borderlines:
Abraham Lowe
ACOA for those of us who  have had alcoholics in our lives
Melanie Beattie
"Care of the Soul" by Thomas Moore
Anything by Carolyn Myss or Mary Ellen Copeland (WRAP)
Avatar universal
I have had BPD (though my official diagnosis goes back and forth from Bi-Polar to BPD dependant upon the pych doc)

But I know it's BPD. Many of the things you describe I've battled with. I've left very good jobs because of my disorder. I've verbally fought with co-workers, taken on whole departments because I thought they were out to get me. Idolized bosses only to despise them a year later and blame them for ridiculous things. Initially, work very hard to be the best at everything, achieve it and rise only to later not give a crap about any of the work I was doing.  Act out in embarrassing ways for attention than be in bed for days because I was ashamed.
I was extremely lucky I was never fired. I always got so sick I used up my sick/FMLA time and quit.
When I was in early 20's the job I had I was in charge and mostly isolated so I was able to stay employed for around 10yrs
I made the horrible mistake by switching careers where I had to work with people and the public. I bounced from job to job only lasting 3yrs max at each. I'm disabled now, due to a myriad of reasons.
I miss working and look into volunteering. Some days I feel like I want to and other days I don't want the stress.
Good luck to all

You are reading content posted in the Borderline Personality Disorder Community

Popular Resources
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Here’s how your baby’s growing in your body each week.
These common ADD/ADHD myths could already be hurting your child
This article will tell you more about strength training at home, giving you some options that require little to no equipment.
In You Can Prevent a Stroke, Dr. Joshua Yamamoto and Dr. Kristin Thomas help us understand what we can do to prevent a stroke.