Borderline Personality Disorder Community
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Avatar universal

sort of depression but not entirely sure.

This probably sounds ridiculously petit and like some teenagers problem, so sorry about this.
Baisically i'm 18 and straight, though every day I seem to be losing social confidence around near enough everyone, even boys i'm vaguely friendly with, so especially a half decent good looking girl! i've never had a girlfriend and never done anything, and it doesn't look like that's about to change soon. I have a couple of very good friends who are women though close friends is all it will ever be.
What i'm worried about is the increasing number of times a week when i feel unstoppably depressed and lonely, as well as questioning how boring I am, depite the fact that deep down I know quite a lot of the time I can actually be quite witty/ecentric/interesting with certain people at certain times and have virtually no enemies, but am instead thought of (or at least I get a strong impression of this!) quite fondly.
Any help as to what i can do to feel better about my self and progress in the whole relationship thing would be greatly appreciated.
6 Responses
1455996 tn?1326180290
I read your post and I just want you to know that nothing is wrong with you inspite of the fact that you have not had a girlfriend or "done anything" yet. And just because you are 18....no one's problems are just "teenager problems" and no big deal. Anyone bothered by anything is a big deal to you and you are an important part of the world (or else you wouldn't be here). So.....I would like to know more specific things about ya so I can offer some advice! You got a few things goin for ya with having me as a friend..... 1) I personally am crazy and know it so there is no room for wonder later! LOL 2) I get along with mostly guys so I am pretty good at knowing how a guy's mind works and usually have great advice for them! and 3) Teenagers rock! I do not wish to be one again, however....lol. I think I just have a way of connecting with the younger generation. I had my kids young and even though it was hard growing up raising kids....its helped me get a better understanding of the two worlds in which teenagers dirive from- the end of childhood into the beginning of adulthood- what a crazy *** world teenagers have to live in. But guess what......Adulthood is even crazier! LOL- Especially the females....you might be better off not having a girl friend. You will save money and your sanity! Good luck to you! and please message me if ya wanna ask any other advice!
Avatar universal
I think you should talk to your doctor regarding the possibility of depression and also seek counselling/ psychotherapy.  Therapy should help you regarding confidence and relationships.  Attending to issues while you're still young will help you immensely in the future.

Good luck.
Avatar universal
Yeh, just to say thank you very much for your comment there, it's promising to know just how quickly such a promising response can come up from someone willing to help others who may suffer from something they are familiar with. This is greatly appreciated, though after viewing other people's problems I sort of realize I'm taking the **** a bit by going on a site like this, when my problem really doesn't seem half as serious nor as frequent as other people's! Plus the fact that for roughly 80% of the time I actually really enjoy life probably means that tis site is not for me!
Thank you anyway however, and, if it's ok with you, if I suddenly start feeling more serious about these random depression phases I shall let you know, seeing as you seem to know what your talking about!
Thank you very much,
Avatar universal
It may not be perceived by you as serious, etc because a) you're still young and picked up on it fairly quickly and b) this particular forum is for borderline personality disorder which is probably a little more complicated than just straight anxiety and/ or depression.
This isn't about other people though, it is about you.  If you're struggling or have concerns then you should address them.  If I thought that someone was worse than me that doesn't mean that I shouldn't get help.

It could be that you're searching for somebody.  Somebody to connect too, to share with, etc.  If you engaged more with others or perhaps made more of an effort to participate in events, etc the feelings may decrease.

It could be just a life transition where you're confront by stuff.  Issues of sexuality, separation, etc.  Could you try access counselling through your school?  It could be worth the effort/ trouble.
Avatar universal
ok, yeh thank you very much for the advise, i'll give it a few weeks of just completely being myself around everyone and seeing if that makes me any less shy and consequently less depressed. Just one question though, on the off chance that I literally find it too difficult to relax around the majority of people any more easily, what should I do then, seek help or what?
Thank you, jamie.
Avatar universal
You could try the school counsellors or talk to your family doctor.  They might offer medication to help with the anxiety or psychotherapy.  It sounds as though you may have social anxiety or just anxiety in general.  Working with someone on issues such as self-esteem, etc could be really helpful.
I would advice just being yourself.  If you try being someone you're not you can lose yourself.  This can create more stress.
It sounds as though a couple of therapy sessions could point you in the right direction.  It doesn't sound like anything too major at this point though.  Don't let it get at of control.  Anxiety, depression (or the issues they're covering) can rob you of a quality life.

Deep breathing exercises can help you with anxiety.  Some relaxing things probably wouldn't hurt either.  What interests you?  Music?  Sport?  Interests can tell a lot about a person.  Do what interests you and what feels right to you.
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