Aa
Crazy
Well my scare is over. After 6 years from stage 1b breast cancer, lumpectomy and radiation I had changes on my annual mammogram. I had an ultrasound and was staged BIRADS 4c and scheduled for a biopsy. I got the results this am and it was fat necrosis and dense calcifications but not malignant. I was told this often happens to people who have lumpectomy and radiation.
With all this said I should feel extatic but instead am very depressed. I'm wondering if I'm going crazy. Has anyone else felt like this??? It is such an emotional rollercoaster and I think I was so prepared for the worst. All I have been able to do today is cry. I think I should be overjoyed but instead still feel scared and depressed.
With all this said I should feel extatic but instead am very depressed. I'm wondering if I'm going crazy. Has anyone else felt like this??? It is such an emotional rollercoaster and I think I was so prepared for the worst. All I have been able to do today is cry. I think I should be overjoyed but instead still feel scared and depressed.
Well, you just scared the heck out of me ! I am 6 MONTHS from 1b breast cancer, lumpectomy and radiation. I am beginning my 5 year plan and of course scared about this next part of my journey. Your letter made me cry and fearful for you and myself.
HUGS 2 U !!! But you must also look how well and how far you've come so far. I agree with others that your feelings are very normal and expected. Just don't let them eat you up..... :)
HUGS 2 U !!! But you must also look how well and how far you've come so far. I agree with others that your feelings are very normal and expected. Just don't let them eat you up..... :)
Its kinda like someone at a very dear loved ones funeral and they get a fit of laughter from no where, and its real inappropriate but they couldn't help it. Emotions can go crazy from one end to the other. I think you have been so much and are so relieved that you gave in to a deluge of tears that have been a long time in coming, and the dam has been released. I think its quite normal.
I'm beginning to think that reactions like this (more common than you would think) are part post traumatic stress and partly a feeling of being under siege. When you are diagnosed with breast cancer, it comes with multiple doctors and a PLAN. When you go through a big breast cancer scare (like BIRADS 4 or 5) that comes back benign, I think you end up with this feeling in the back of your mind, what about next time? What about the next lump?
I'm just guessing, based on my own scare last year, the reactions of women going through biopsy, and the reactions of women when they find out either that they have or don't have breast cancer. It's like the whole experience leaves you with a deep sense of mortality, but the breast cancer patient is immediately distracted with all the treatment options, plus is allowed to feel sad, angry, etc. If benign, you are SUPPOSED to feel happy, but instead that feeling of mortality lingers.
Other comments?
I'm just guessing, based on my own scare last year, the reactions of women going through biopsy, and the reactions of women when they find out either that they have or don't have breast cancer. It's like the whole experience leaves you with a deep sense of mortality, but the breast cancer patient is immediately distracted with all the treatment options, plus is allowed to feel sad, angry, etc. If benign, you are SUPPOSED to feel happy, but instead that feeling of mortality lingers.
Other comments?
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