I am so sorry that you feel so horribly. Grief can definitely come on at any time. I lost both my parents 6 years ago and there are still some days where I feel the loss as if it is only yesterday. I know that you said that you are low-income, but you need to see someone, preferably a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication. (I am on meds, too.) Start by asking your doctor or go to your local clinic. Talk to the physician and see if there are any doctors who charge according to income. There must be. Get the help you need...YOU deserve to be happy and your Child needs a healthy mom. Do it for YOU and your family. Hopefully someone else will post to give you more advice. I truly feel for you and will pray for you. I know that faith is truly difficult to have when you have been through so much, but please don't give up.
Also, under other forums on this site they have support groups for depression and anxiety. Try checking them out and see if there is anyone there who can help you, also.
Friend in pain, visiting a church will cost you nothing. Whether you are a christian or not, someone will be there that will listen, sincerely listen and sincerely care. The church will also be able to refer you to volunteer resources in your community.
Just try it.
Hi, I am so sorry for your loss and the grief, you are still having. I am a 6 year breast cancer survivor and I was only 34 when diagnosed, and I have 2 kids. My daughter was 14 when I got diagnosed and my son, who thought I was going to die, was only 8 at the time. I tried to discuss things with them my daugher had no problem my son still to this day won't talk about it, and I count my blessings every day that I am still here to be with my children, but it doesn't make it easy living with the fear of the cancer showing up somewhere else. I had invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast and it was a stage II, grade III (which is very agressive)and I have a high risk of it coming back, and since the chemo and Radiation I have had numerous health problems, and am scared to death still of dying. My only wish is that if something would ever happen to me, that my children will be able to cope and move on, that would be my main concern, and I am sure your mom wanted the same thing for you. We all have to face our own mortality some day, and it is those left behind who suffer the most. Remember the good times you had and cherrish them. I also think cancer support meetings and talking out your feelings is the best option for you. I don't believe medication can help you through your problems, they only mask them. Just my opinion. Anyways, you have a son, don't waste spending valuable time with him, while dwelling on the past. I am sure your mom would agree! After all what a better tribute to your mom than to take care of yourself and her grandchild. Good Luck.