Husband cannot look at breasts

[worshiplady4him]

My husband has encouraged me for upto 10 years to have a breast reduction.  Before the reduction I was a size I (the letter after H in the alphabet).  Since I have gotten the surgery he hasn't wanted to sleep with me at all. In fact, he just told me that he doesn't know if he will ever be able to sleep with me again.  I am devistated.  I really don't know what to do.  Please, help me. I'll take any kind of advice at this point.  Thank You.

[iam1butterfly]

Since you pursued the reduction, you must have felt that you either needed or wanted it.
And, if you're happy or more comfortable with the reduction that should outweigh your husband's selfish, shallow and superficial reaction. Perhaps, he is the one who needs counseling.

[purplelily]

Like japdip, I am thinking some very bad thoughts right now about your husband, and I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you have to go through this! I am guessing from your nickname here that you are a religious woman - if he is religious as well, you should remind him what the vows meant at the altar! And that if he happens to get a disease like prostate cancer that you would take care of him. And not be repulsed if he should lose any of his manly functions, like penile erection. Your breast reduction surgery was no doubt a medical necessity and I am sure you feel better in terms of your back and shoulder strain. I think any of is that had breast surgery would be devastated if our once supportive partner was later repulsed by our new "look".

I am so very sorry. I think there is a deeper issue here than your breasts, but I am not a counselor so I won't venture to say what. Just that I don't know you, but I am sending you a hug. :-)

[japdip]

Well, I won't say what I'm really thinking .... like katarina777 said I think you might post your concerns on one of the other Med Help Forums. I will say however that I don't think much of your husband at this point and I think I would remind him that it was his idea in the first place. I'm sorry but a man of this caliber isn't worth your worry or concern. If I were you I would see if I could find some sort of support group or counselling center ..... this is certainly NOT worth you losing your self esteem over; it's his loss and he may even realize it one day.  Take care ......

[katarina777]

I am really sorry for you about what happened. This is a forum only for breast cancer, so I don't think you will get a lot of help here for this serious, particular problem you are dealing with. But I recommend a very good forum on Med help where I think you will get the help and feedback you are looking for and needing. it's called the 'relationship forum'. it's very good. All my best for you, kat