Breast Cancer Community
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517119 tn?1285874992

It's definitely breast cancer

Well Girls, The Dr. called me this afternoon and told me the bad news. I honestly was quite well prepared for it especially after all the information you wonderful ladies have given me. I have not cried - but I'm sure I will. I was eerily calm when he told me. My husband was on the extension and heard it all too. He was very shocked. He never thought it was going to be bc. His mother died of it 23 years ago. I'm worried about my parents - they are alot older and my dad's mom died of bc, I hope this won't freak them out.

I am glad that I know now. Like you all have said -it's time to get tough. I was instructed to call a plastic surgeon and and oncologist and now I am waiting for them to call me back to make appointments ASAP. I want this poison out if me! The dr said something about chemo first but I asked him if I could get a bilateral mastectomy before that. I guess we will have to discuss it further. He was very kind - this kind of thing seems to be so matter of fact nowadays. A friend told me 1 out of 3 women will get bc. Its truly unbelievable. I feel numb. I just want to live long for my children.

The dr says he thinks I will be ok. What does that mean? Is it a 50/50 shot? I know- be positive - don't look at the negative. Just be glad I found it right? I just can't believe that in a matter of a week that my life has turned upside down. That I am fighting for my life. It doesn't seem real. I can't believe that the breasts that fed my children could betray me. So weird. I remember as a little girl watching "Dallas" with my mom and Miss Ellie was diagnosed with bc. I asked my mom what the big deal was. She told me that as a woman it is. I didn't understand then. Isn't it odd that that sticks in my mind.

I want to thank all of you that have responded to me and told me your stories and given support and answered my questions.It gave me some topics to bring up to the dr.

I am still scared of course. But at least now I know.

56 Responses
509587 tn?1212005021
jen i am so sorry 2here about your bad news it made me cry i no it means nothing but atleast now u no and u can deal with it u will b strong as iv heard on here so much ,nolige is power x im booked 4a biopsy this wed i have a lump on my left breast the not noing is killing me all i think about is my daughter its jus always been me and her i will pray 4u when i pray 4myself iv never belived in praying before but now i will try anything xxxx
341137 tn?1287308643
Hi Jen, I am so sorry about your news.  I have been looking for your posts all day, praying that you would have good news for us all.  Its really upset me.

Take care and keep in touch.  You are not alone in this, we are all with you!
Hazel x
Avatar universal
I am also so sorry to hear your news.  You will probably cry tonight when it is dark and the children are asleep b/c you will probably find it difficult to sleep and your mind will be racing and that is normal.  If you have any sleeping pills you might want to think about taking one or call your surgeon back for a Rx.  

Make sure that your plastic surgeon is experienced in breast reconstruction, not just breast augmentation.  Many are not so this is an important thing to find out.

You will be around to see your children grow up and your grandchildren and that will be many, many years away for your 15 month old.
Avatar universal
Well Jen,
  This is my first time writing you, and I sure am sorry to hear your news.  You and your family will be in my prayers each night.  Your inner strength will see you through this.  Believe me, you have much more than you realize at this point.  After the initial shock wears off you will go through a very different set of emotions about this whole thing.  Just remember, you have a wonderful family, and support sytem in place. You will beat this! Please keep us all informed of your progress.  God Bless and hang in there. FJW
517119 tn?1285874992
Thank you for writing me and thinking about me in your prayers. I will also keep you all in mine. It is late here so I will write more tomorrow. I so appreciate all of you wonderful women.

Avatar universal
I'm really sorry your got bad news, we were all hoping you would be one of the lucky ones.  I hear a calmness in your posting that was not there before, at least you know now, the waiting is over and now the fighting begins.  You will fight and yes, you will win, just like all of us have done.  I hope your find goods surgeons and oncologists to treat you like I did.  You will make the right decisions and you will find strength in yourself that you never even knew you had, because you have to, 4 lovely children are depending on you and I know you will be around to see your child grow up, graduate from college and your daughter walk down the aisle.  
Avatar universal
To my dear cousin too far away for me to give you a hug.  I would just love to be with you to help comfort you.  You have your Mother to help with that and your sister will be there for you.  These women are terrific.  I am glad that you found them.  Listen to them, take their words to heart.  Be strong.  You can get thru this with all of the support that has been offered to you.  No doubt in my mind that you will live to see your grandchildren AND take care of them as I do mine.  Love to you as always,  Patti
492898 tn?1222247198
Having bc myself, I thought I would let you know that it is not that helpful to tell someone you know they will be OK and see their grandkids grow up. You don't know that. Nobody knows that about another person, even if they were not just diagnosed with cancer. it may help you to say that but not the person you are saying it to.

To jen; I was also very calm almost all the way through treatment, that is. Just let yourself feel whatever you feel; you don't have to try to be positive. for myself it has been harder since I finished treatment. I think though you will be able to stand whatever treatment you have. It's not that terrible, even the surgery doesn't hurt that much. And what choice do we have, right?

Take care, and best wishes from me as well.  kat
Avatar universal
Kat, I respect your comments, but remember that someone has just been diagnoised with BC and from Jen's previous posts, one of her main concerns is for her 4 young kids.  She needs all the encouragement she can get.  As you said yourself, you have to stay positive, that is all I was trying to do with my comment.  My boys were 4 and 1 when I was diagnoised last year and personally my greatest concern was being around to see my kids grow up.  Comments like the one I made to Jen was very supportive and helpful to me when I was told the same thing during my treatment my friends, family and even my Oncology Nurse. I do not have a crystal ball and yes I cannot tell what the future holds for me let alone anyone else.  Jen is not a silly woman, I'm sure she knew what I meant.  Her sister in law Patti said the same.  However I do think it is wrong of you to start nit picking at someone else's positive comments when the focus should be on trying to support a fellow sufferor of breast cancer and help her get through the treatment over the coming months.

I wish you a long life and happiness and pray that you remain BC free like all of us hope.
Avatar universal
I too have breast cancer - with a bilateral mastectomy in November.  Just last week I had my final chemo and will soon start my rounds of radiation.  You are just beginning on a real rollercoaster ride with many ups and downs!  I have probably had them all, so I would be happy to be "a shoulder to cry on".  You will find that you have lots of support from family and friends, but I know that there is pressure to "be positive" all the time and that is not possible.  If you need to feel the worse at times, don't feel guilty - just email me.  I'll be happy to listen.

I have realized that there are many forms of bc and many treatments, so everything may not be done exactly the same for each of us - but one thing is the same.  WE ARE SCARED.  Get supportive friends, get a good book on breast cancer, and get ready to pray more than you ever have.   All of these things have helped me.

Please keep in contact.

325698 tn?1216332354
Aww Jen!  I was so hoping that it wasnt..sigh..You WILL be fine!!  One step at a time..

Try to find a general surgeon, plastic surgeon and oncologist that all work together (know each other, respect each other, etc) ..I found it really helpful and relieving that my general surgeon and plastic surgeon were both joking with me right before the surgery...they actually know and like each other...and the oncologist came very highly recommended from both....i just felt in really good hands....

also, just because your gyno may recommend a surgeon, by no means are you obligated to use them...i personally saw 3 surgeons before making my decision.

its important to get this done, but dont make too hasty of a decision.  Oh, one other thing too....if your insurance allows, get a case manager...that way instead of talking to different people and getting different answers, you will deal with only your case manager and he/she will be able to pull any and all insurance strings that you may need...

Deep breath, Jen baby!!  You can do this...I know you can...and just so you can get used to saying it...."SUCK IT UP!!"

xo, darcy
314692 tn?1214084110
I agree with you 200%!!! I was just diagnosed myself last month. April4th to be exact. And when other survivors tell me that I am gonna be fine and that I am strong and can beat this, it REALLY gives me the support I need to make it through!! So I personally welcome those positive words of encouragement. In my heart I feel strongly that Jen WILL win and I like you have no problem telling her that. We are here to lift eachother up. Not to pick on eachother. I hope that Jen takes what she needs from EVERY post to get her through. It's her choice not ours. And letting a BC sister know that she will win does help, atleast its helped me.

So Irishgal, hats off to you for your comforting words to Jen. Her family here will help get her through this.

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