Scared of recurrence

[SMary]

Hi - I have just had a lumpectomy and was diagnosed as Stage I IDC.  Onco DX a 13.  I have been given every bit of encouragement by my surgeon, oncologist and radiologist that I will be fine.  I cannot seem to move past the fear of a late and distant recurrence.  How do you get over that?  I am starting radiation soon and then Arimidex for 5 years.  I can deal with all the treatment but for some reason the fear has not left me yet.  When does the fear become managemable?  I am in my mid 50's and have been blessed with a wonderful life, but when all is quiet i think way too much.   Thank you to anybody who can help me through this part of the cancer journey

[ncmichigan]

Hi, Shari
I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer and the terrible side effects of Tamoxifen. (unfortunately,they're all too common, although each woman reacts differently)
I think you should be able to bring up your fears and discuss possible prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with your oncologist without any judgement on the doctor's part. She can give her opinion and advice, but in the end it's your body and your choice. If she makes you "feel like a baby" I think I'd want to find another oncologist. And even if she doesn't, you may want to seek another opinion anyway. Perhaps you could also discuss it with your surgeon to get another point of view. It may depend a lot on how many other risk factors you have, but again, it's a personal choice. At your young age, I think it would be something I'd consider, too. I only have LCIS but I have several other risk factors. My oncologist said I'd be a candidate for BPM when I asked him about it a few months after my diagnosis. It's a little extreme to me at this point, but that's just me---every woman is different. I honestly feel that if I did get an invasive cancer (obviously, I'm hoping NOT) I would really consider BPM at that time even though I'm 63.
I can empathize with you on the hot flashes---as soon as I was diagnosed I went off my low dose of estrogen and they are back & horrible. My oncologist mentioned Tamoxifen, but wouldn't prescribe it because my hot flashes were already so bad. If they ever end, I'll probably go on it, and I'm guessing they'll start again! I think I may be in my 80's and still sweating it out!
Anyway, I hope you'll be able to find a sympathic ear for your concerns and will be able to make the choice that's right for you. Wishing you all the best,
nc

[shari0822]

Hello, my name is Shari. I'm 43, I just finished radiation 33 sessions last year. I am on Tamoxifen now. I really hate being on it. The hot flashes are terrible. I feel like all day at work is just one big hot flash and the night sweats, people think I'm nuts at work. I know things could be worse, and I'm grateful for that. I skidded by with a lumpectomy and radiation. But the fear of recurrence is worse than the Tamoxifen. My last visit with my Oncologist I complained of a lump that hurts a little. She said to wait and see, it's suspect. My breasts are all cysts, and I can't tell if a lump is different from another lump. I'm sorry for the babbling. I guess my question is, a Mastectomy? I've really been thinking about this lately. I don't want to live in fear anymore, is this the right answer? And how do I bring this up to my Dr. without sounding like a baby?
Thank you for listening. :} Best wishes to everyone.
SB

[shirlrae]

I had the same diagnosis but opted for a double mastectomy to ease the fear of return. My Mother also died of BC so I chose the radical approach. In all honesty, the fear is still there, however it lessened  the odds of return. I am on Arimidex. I opted for no reconstruction because I am 73. If I were your age I would have had it. I think in all honesty the fear will always be in the back of our minds,but you want to give it all you can do. Best Wishes

[ncmichigan]

Zouzi is absolutely right, Mary! In time the fear will subside and you'll be able to get on with your wonderful life again. Your chances are excellent that you'll be cancer free and you just need to focus on being positive and strong right now. You can't change what is and worrying won't change what will be, so spend your energy on beating this disease.
I know it's easier said than done, but I believe you can do it!  Like zouzi, many women have been in your shoes and come through it all just fine. Hang in there and take one day at a time. Find your support in family and friends and faith if that helps you. Some women get a lot of help by joining a support group---if you think it would be good for you, please check it out with your doctors, the hospital or local cancer agencies. I truly wish you all the very best now and in the future.
Sending you a big hug from Michigan (       ),
nc

[zouzi]

Hi,
I am going to join your team of doctor by telling you the same thing,that"You'll be just fine!"
3 years ago,I had the exact same diagnosis as you and I also was very anxious and scared about recurrence,but not anymore because I am doing very well thank God.
I had a lumpectomy, radiation (20 sessions) and I am actually on Femara,which is another similar drug as Arimidex.
The good thing about your "Onco DX Score result 13",is that it suggests that you have a lower risk of recurrence and this is why you won't need Chemotherapy.
Keep in mind that after your treatment is completed,you will be closely watched by your Surgeon or Oncologist and he/she will make sure that your health is in tip top shape.
It's normal to feel the way you do,but soon you will realize that your worry will eventually subside.
A high percentage of the type of cancer we had is curable, and we should focus on that fact alone and counting our blessings that we are alive and doing well.
Wishing you a long and healthy life and God Bless.