Touching Breast

[KB911]

Can somebody tell me what will happen if I continually touch and feel and 'proke and prode' my breasts.  I am absolutely paranoid about lumps and I keep doing this about 20 times a day.  Will they become bruised or swollen?  I cannot feel any lumps - both breast are the same and my breasts are lumpy anyway.  Paranoid mother!  Any comments would be appreciated.

[katarina777]

Oh, and one more thing now that I am more removed from that situation, and neither obsessing nor avoiding.

I think it was real in a way that what I felt and saw was really happing. I would focus on one spot and then the bext time I looked it was gone, one day much worse than another day, or even within a couple of hours of checking.

Pbvuously, our doctors don't know our breasts nearly as intimately as we do, or even know what they look like at all, or what's different from one vist to the next. How could they?

So they go by what looks good or suspicious but are unaware of what we are talking about when it comes to changes?

So I do not think this is all on your mind at all vs. true, and do not stop trusting yourself. it's just that when we are very anxious, some things take on an exaggerated sensation of a visual enormity , and from that we need to step back a little?

I still cannot believe I had forgotten all this when I started out talking with you.

Kat

[KB911]

You don't know how much reassurance your post gives to me Kat.

Thank you so much.  I have taken similar thoughts, constant ignoring until a months time when I do my self exams, if there is anything odd I will go to the doc immediately.  I don't know why you mind makes you do this constant compulsive behaviour!

Thanks again.  Best wishes.

[katarina777]

Dear KB11, I completely forgot that I had something very similar to you last year, when I was sure my cancer had come back. It drove me crazy because I could feel and see, and nobody else seemed to be able to. I was at it, checking my skin and the area where the cancer had been, and the other breast, constantly. I got more and more frustrated and even depressed because nobody believed me and nothing showed up on mammogram and ultrasound either, yet I know it was there.

I finally gave up, and turned the other way in that rather than checking constantly, I ignored constantly, to a point that I really had no longer any idea of what my breast and skin and lumps felt like or looked like.

I am not telling this to you to give you advice but only to share
what I only now remembered, and that it went away as suddenly as it came on. So, you are not the only one with anxiety and compulsions, and if you were to ask around, I think most anyone can remember a time or incidence where they had symptoms of OCD.

Best, Kat

[KB911]

Thanks, might stop doing it for a month and if there are any concerns I will see my doc.  I am 37.

[japdip]

The recommendation for self breast examination is ONCE A MONTH on the same day each month if possible. If you are having issues with these compulsive acts and thoughts then I recommend that you seek some type of counselling for help with this problem. A clinical examination by your Family Physician once a year is also recommended. You don't state your age but yearly Mammograms or Ultrasounds should be done after the age of 40. If there are concerns, Ultrasound can be done at any time.

[KB911]

Another thing I didn't mention, middle of February I got an implanon implant and I have read this can cause changes in breast tissue.  Could this be right?

[KB911]

Thank you so much nc.
You have hit the nail on the head, you are exactly right, I am compulsive.  It is ruling my life!  I am miserable about something that 'may' happen, which is really wrong!  How often should I be looking in the mirror looking for dimples?  How often should I be feeling for lumps?  I seem to be doing this dozens of times during the day and how I don't know what I am feeling or seeing.  I wonder if my brain is playing tricks on me.  I guess the dimples worry me, how obvious are they?  Because I have lost weight (by diet) over the last 18 months I do have saggy skin and what looks like cellulite.  I guess my constantly poking and proding my breasts aren't going to be in their normal state, am I right?  I really appreciate your comments and best wishes.

[ncmichigan]

This is obviously interfering with your life, so I would definitely talk to a doctor. There
are many ways to treat your symptoms and let you live a happier life. You owe it to
yourself and your child to be as healthy as you can be, so please follow Katrin's advice and seek out some treatment. Many women worry about BC and we should all
monitor ourselves for any changes, but you seem to have passed normal concern and gone on to being compulsive.
I wish you all the very best and please keep us updated on your progress. Sending you  a hug (    ),
nc

[KB911]

Thanks Katrin.  Yes I do suffer from severe anxiety but I wouldn't say I am depressed.  Thank you for your supportive comments.

[katarina777]

Sorry, 5 years may be a little long from giving birth to be called post partum depression, yet, I still think you need psychological, and or some medical help. kids wear you out and this may just be a phase? best, katrin

[katarina777]

You sound really anxious and depressed, KB911.
After listening to your posts and giving them some more thought, I am wondering if it is possible you are suffering from a serious post baby depression. (Post Partum Depression)This is not uncommon and I know really horrible from many women who have told me about the experience. The great weight loss would also fit as well as your extreme worries and ruminations.

You need to get some help with this and your husband or someone else supportive should take you to the doctor. You shouldn't have to suffer like this, and it's not cancer what you have but just as bad, except it's treatable and you can be free of this again.

You will be OK, please keep us updated and go to the doctor, OK?