at 5:45 pm received call from nurse at facility.....
.left B9.(calcifications)..... right side 1cm mass.grade 2.
she indicated treatable..w surgery on both ..b/c left atyipical..she eluded that
only surgery and 6 weeks of radiation..even tho I had done some research
I just didnt know what to ask..I feel so numb..just kinda flat lined/no emotion
I guess it hasnt HIT me..tomorrow morning it will which I have discovered the mornings are the WORST..
but do wonder what grade means. when will I find out stage and what that will mean and about if spread or not.can they tell if its contained from biopsy and pictures? so many questions.wish I could wait till after holidays.
but best to get on with it I guess and get it over with..but I dont want to ruin holiday for everyone..no happy face ...but then i get this uphoric mood..denial I guess....booo!
Thanks so much for updating us with your good news!
I'm glad you will be able to use, and already have an appointment with, a surgeon who comes with such good recommendations.
I had faith (going by after all the strength you had to have to handle all you've been through in recent years), that you would come to the point of recognizing you CAN deal with this, once the initial shock wore off a bit, and it sounds as though you are there.
We'll all keep pulling for you, but good to know you'll also have some help and support close at hand.
You are certainly welcome.
I'm sorry for ALL you've had to go through: the betrayal by your husband, his stealing of most of your joint funds, the foreclosure, bankruptcy, working long hours to support your twins and put them through college--and now this!
Again, it is entirely your decision whom you do and don't want to tell, especially initially. I just hated to think of you going through this alone, and mostly because you were more invested in trying to protect everyone else, rather than meeting any of your own needs during this scary, difficult time... (Isn't it your turn to have a helping hand, or at least someone to confide in?) Your son sounds like a good possibility.
Hope your appointment with the oncologist goes well. If you care to, please let us know what your recommended tx plan is.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you,
Just another voice to let you know you are not alone.
Many of us read people's threads, but do not answer because someone else has already done that, unless we feel we have something additional to say that might help someone.
My sister was dx 6 years ago, with a mass much larger than yours, plus a higher grade (hers was Grade 3, highly aggressive), plus lymph node involvement, and she is still doing well. (She was/is disabled,uses a wheelchair, and had to do surgery, radiation, and chemo.)
Try to take everything one step at a time, and you, too, will make it through
any tx that may be required.
It is of course solely your decision, but I agree with japdip--please consider sharing what's going on with at least one family member or friend. They will probably sense anyway that something is going on with you, and if you share your dx, they will understand better the mood and behavior changes you are no doubt showing.
The news should not cause any problems with your sister's high blood pressure, as long she is being treated and has it under control. I know I would certainly want to know if you were my sister!
Best wishes and prayers that all will be well with BOTH you and your sister!
Lymph node involvement can only be determined by the sampling and/or removal of suspected node or nodes at the time of surgery. Pathology studies on the specimen are a MUST. I truly think this idea you have for keeping all this a secret from whomever is a very foolish one indeed and most likely impossible to achieve. How would you feel if your Sister or Daughter did the same and kept some health issue from you ?
About the reminder of keeping all information in this thread was because all the information before your biopsy is under another nickname. I suppose if you are comfortable ignoring the cancer until late December then it makes sense and it's possible that it will take that long to get other appointments behind you anyway. After you see the Surgeon and possibly the Oncologist as well you can then decide, with their approval, when to schedule the procedure. Both procedures seem rather minor at this point so the recovery time would be minimal and any follow up treatment would not begin until complete healing has been achieved. Discuss the time line with your Doctors before making any decisions. Regards ....
aw thanks for your concern and advise..I am reconsidering ..Maybe telling my son who is 38..a kind hearted soul..and maybe my sister,,(which I can tell you are a GOOD sister..she's lucky to have you and I love my sister too..she means well.tries real hard to be supportative.but can over do..sometimes ...can be hard to take..) but she "would" be very angry w/ me is I didnt..I just dont need the worry plus her second guessing my decisions..shes a fixer..tends to hover.so I need to set boundries w/ out hurting feelings..i have an appt w oncologist Tues so will know more..be more confident ..and more comfortable with all this information..its so over whelming confusing..SCAREY ..just wish this werent so..I have just had so much in my life lately and am looking forward to being a grandmother....the timing of this *****..damnit!! ya kno...thank you for you concern..I do really appreciate it..it does make me feel not so alone..
thanks for reply..I have researched (ACS and breastcancer.org. esp gives me impression stage and lymph node involvement is possible w that report. I am confused....but you and the nurse today said only at surgery...this is just over whelming..and the reason I said holidays.is b/c I cannot "afford" to miss work..I cannot ..and since off 2 1/2 weeks for Xmas..that would be better..and still havent figured out how I am going to keep this secret.."( not sure what you mean by staying connected to this thread..questions to Drs..have notebook full..
You are not alone. Sometimes this forum seems more of a place for education then for support.
I was diagnosed almost a year ago. My tumor was 6cm, grade 3.
It's your choice, but I hope you become comfortable sharing/ confiding with someone(s). It really helps to have another set of ears taking notes at your appointments. You are in a daze right now, It is likely you will miss 1/2 of what you are told.
Also, you are going to need treatment, it will be hard to keep it away from famiy and friends. It's not a quick fix whichever route is taken.
And just a thought...would they really want you to keep it from them?
I personally would be so hurt if my mom, brother, father, kept the from me.
If you are up to it, please keep us updated on your treatment plan.
yes it IS time for ME..I do deserve that I know ..but I am also a very protective mother..never want to be the cause of anyones worry,,but I am wavering ..may tell my son for sure and my sister..b/c ya I would be totally hurt and pissed if she didnt tell me.(.which now I am afraid she is even going to be mad ) that I've kept her out of this loop thus far.but she's been out of town.so ....but so be it..she would have good advise/ears but also tends to make me second guess myself.and I need to be as clear headed as I can.Today I was presented with the whole Medicare/BCBS senerio OMG..another overwhelming info filled maze..all told from different people w different agendas..but after more than 5 hours on the phone today...I think I have figured it out..with a focus on "I think"..not sure..I had to change a surgeon already even before any appt..ugh!! b/c of the insurance issue(not in my network)..but feel I have found one that I am better suited to.I have an appt tomorrow and another with my 1st choice on Tuesday. I am worried if it will confuse me more w 2 different drs..but I do need to get a second opinion..right? again thank to all of you for your support/advise and kindness..this just *****.and am not ready for this battle..worry I have used up all my strength over the past 6 years..but am also very proud as to how I over came ....but THIS is something I realize there is NO room for error.and .thats whats scarey. and ya no quick fix..for sure..and do you ever stop worrying ..will it recurr? do fear this is a neverending journey...always looking over your shoulder ..so to speak.. just not fun..!!
WHEW What a week!! GOOD NEWS..the oncologist said 95% CURABLE..he feels since very small/ slow growing estrogen/progestern positive..hormone treatment called for..he thinks I will only have to have a tumor cut out and maybe do radiation.(but did suggest masectomy so could elimate need to radiation..I like that idea..get rid of it once and for all..then pill for 5 years..I can do that..he didnt even seem concerned about the left califications..just watch..he liked my choice of surgeon who came by default since the recommended surgeon was NOT on my insurance.(boy that was 5 hours of extra unneccessary stress yesterday..navigating the insurance UGH) I have had 2 other people say good things too about this Dr.....appt Tues.so I am optimistic..and am considering telling my family after the appt Tuesday..I do think this better dx helps..but I am guarded..sign of relief in 5 years....thank you thank you THANK YOU for everyones support and info..it helped MORE than you;ll ever know..God Bless You...
I would still bring friends and kids in on your support team. It is still surgery and the recovery period will be easier with help. And someone has to take you and pick you up from the hospital. You would do it for them, of course they would do it for you.
I have had many many surgeries and the more help you get, the more you can heal.
If you can't do that, at least prepare ahead of time lots of meals and snacks all at waist level, the clothes you need and comfort items. Good luck!
thx thats very good advise..actually this has modivated me to declutter..it is very theraputic..I will have my sister prob..take me to hospital..etc..since the uplifting "not a death sentence" prognois..I am feeling better about telling my family..still on the fence about my daughter whos's pregnant but wavering..thanks to everyone who talked me thru this..it was HUGE ..I will always remember ..your KINDNESS and more importantly clarifying all the information..it is mind bogeling ..you have to learn and comprhend so much in such a short time ..all the while your mind and emotions are swimming..this has been I dont know the words.."unbelievable?" ... your world can be changed forever with that "C" word..God Bless you all
There will be no "stage" determined until Pathology studies are completed following whatever surgical procedure is advised and done. As far as the cancer spreading: testing will done along with the surgery to remove the mass which is less than one half an inch. The determination for surgery and what type will be made after a consultation with the Surgeon. Treatment will be determined by the Oncologist whom you will see after surgery or possibly before surgery. Nothing except the diagnosis can be obtained by biopsy and everything else will come following surgery. I'm not sure what you mean by "the Holidays" but there is no reason to wait other than to be scheduled for whatever is advised when you discuss the findings with the Specialists. Please keep all future postings connected to this thread .... there is no connection between this post and your previous ones to others who may read and comment on your situation. Write your questions on paper before you see the Surgeon or Oncologist so nothing is forgotten. Kindest regards ...
had surgeon appt..and it went good.. .she said to get this "bad" news there really has best news b/c path report is all good in your favor....she said this wont kill me..and will prob live to be a 100..so thats good ..I am healthy (no daily meds.no drink/smoke)..just still wish this werent so..but am realizing I can and HAVE to do this..surgery..lumpectomy ..Nov 3..on both sides..to be sure ..radiation for 5 days and then the pill for 5 years..still kinda on fence about total mastectomy..but she said it does NOT effect chances of recurrance..any thoughts on that? although I go home that afternoon w lesser procedure w/ M no radiation but longer recovery..so not sure what to do..prob take dr advise..best to do just to be safe re: taking dr advise..ya kno? she the expert..I am planning on telling my children and sister sat.(any advise..I am planning on going to an art show ..kinda an early b'day celebration(Halloween baby).should I tell the before or after outing? ugh so many decisions..UGH...scared now they gonna be mad I waited so long..but cant help it..I needed to be ok w this.. and yes you are right I am there... "sorta"..and can sell it better b/c outcome looks good.and I DO I believe it but two weeks ago I was convinced It was a "death sentence".. still scared.. dont want it to be soo.the "C" word..still scarey..but am much more optimistic than I was on Oct 13th...the "call"..ugh! that was a BAD day!! again thank you so much for your words of wisdom..kindness.and prayers..plus I am allowing myself an indulgence..for my b'day Oct 31..going to the beach w my daughter..:))))
Yes, your surgeon is obviously familiar with recent research.
A study of more than 100,000 women with BC found that for women diagnosed with stage one or two breast cancer who chose a lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy, rather than a mastectomy, were 13% more likely to survive the disease. And in women over age 50, that number jumped to 19%.
A decade-long Duke Cancer Institute study gave credence to experts who believe that radiotherapy, a five- to six-week treatment, is more effective than a mastectomy at eliminating any remaining cancer cells. It's an especially important finding since there has recently been "interest in mastectomy to treat early stage breast cancers, despite the research supporting lumpectomy," explains the lead researcher.
This is a decision, of course, that each woman should make, taking into consideration the details of her particular case and her personal preference, in consultation with her surgeon.
Regarding telling your family, if anyone is "mad at you," I would suggest you tell them it was shocking news that you had to adjust to before you felt ready to share it with anyone else.
If your sister, for example, criticizes you, try to get up the courage and confidence to say that it is YOUR disease, not theirs, and you had the right to make whatever decisions in regard to it that you believed to be best for you and for them.
Wishing you a speedy easy and full recovery,
new study of more than 100,000 women with the disease finds that for those who catch it in its early stages, the opposite is actually true. Women diagnosed with stage one or two breast cancer who chose a lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy, rather than a mastectomy, were 13% more likely to survive the disease. And in women over age 50, that number jumped to 19%, the Daily Mail reports.
The decade-long Duke Cancer Institute study gives credence to experts who believe that radiotherapy, a five- to six-week treatment, is more effective than a mastectomy at eliminating any remaining cancer cells. It's an especially important finding since there has recently been "interest in mastectomy to treat early stage breast cancers, despite the research supporting lumpectomy," explains the lead researcher.
thx for research info..13% isnt much considering the difference between the extrmes involved between the two procedures..and it makes sense that radiation does "add" a better more thouough advantages..but I must admit..I am dreading the radiation more than the surgery...but I have seen where there are two schools of thought on mastectomy vs lumpectomy..but I did like that my dr. said there isnt much more difference in recurrance vs the two procedures..in others words seems there isnt any different outcome ..and at my age the recovery for a mastectomy is longer and I would assume harder..and I agree to say that this is MY disease and mine to figure out..but an unhappy twist..I told my sister..yesterday and as I expected she was hurt..but i quickly said ..ok your mad and I get that but I just had to wrap my brain around this first..then .we had lunch today and while she was out of town..a message saying she needs to come back for a second mammogramn..wow..what about that?? she's 73...and I know what she is facing and do feel guilty for not telling her..but today she said she understood ..sorta..I am telling my kids tomorrow
..and I have to say..bc I have wrapped my brain around this...and know more have learned so much.I can sell it better..two weeks ago I wouldnt have been able to sell it w/out a death sentence attached..so I am feeling ok w that decision..but have no idea what their reation is going to be..none..so anticipation galore..
thks again for your support and research info..I have read some things very similar God bless..
I have a wellness appt w my primary dr.today.so will discuss all this with him..just confusing what you read and what you and others have said.about the nodes/stage and when they are analyzed(breastcancer.org)I am going to make apptments asap..and just have to see how quickly we can schedule...its just sadly losing 2 weeks worth of income on top of expense of this (which wondering how much I am looking at out of pocket)..will negatively effect my overall financial security...as I have very little savings since when my husband left he took all monies/income w him.including $42K of 401K..(which he spent on his now defunk g'friend)
i had to file bankrupcy and had a forecloser ..
I am foolish & not thinking clearly.trying to navigate this..like yesterday right before I got "the call"..my pregnant daughter had to be driven home from work b/c she was dizzy,,so ya i know what you say..but how would I feel but what if her worrying about her mother w breast cancer caused her any complications with her pregnancy..no I could NOT handle THAT,,plus what if my sister w high blood pressure had an issue bc of her worrying /taking care of me..(she is a fixit/hover type person)..so I really dont see where I have a choice..worrying about them worrying about me would not be good either....so catch 22...I do plan on getting in touch w/ ACS Road to Recovery program..esp for after surgery care since everyone would be at work.so fear difficult recovery..ie;Fix lunch etc..sorry if I seem off..just too much too much .but do APPRECIATE your staying in contact w me and responding..seems you are only one..so am THANKFUL for that..
thx ya do you believe now my sister?? but she doesnt want to tell anyone either..so maybe this is happening bc maybe that way she wont be so mad at me bc she now understands your reluctance to tell(which wonder why you dont want to tell) lbc she keeps saying..I am hurt you didnt tell...but if I had told twon weeks ago I wouldnt have gotten thru the first staement..this way my confidence made them confident too..so I know at first they didnt like that I didnt tell..but I still think it was best for me..and them..too..anyway..now everyone knows and am getting calls of support which is really nice..but makes you talk about alot too..
It's nice to hear that you "did it your way" AND everything seems to have worked out for the best! :-)
Keep that in mind if your sister criticizes your tx choices as she deals with her own dx. (Just calmly and confidently say that you will respect her right to make her own decisions, and you expect the same respect in return)
Glad you are getting lots of support now, but you still have the right to decide what details/decisions you wish to share with whom. (You can thank them all for their concern and best wishes, but may choose to say to some who aren't so close, that you'd rather get your mind off it for a while by discussing other things, or that the details are personal...)
You will probably find that some friends/relatives are better to confide in, while others are better suited to give practical help (with meals, transportation to appointments, etc.) It's up to you to decide what type of assistance you are willing to accept from each one.
You're going great, after only a relatively short time to adjust to all of this!
Hang in there,
Meant to type: "You're doing great..."
ya you hit that nail..a short time..so much too much to absorb..
it all just happened so fast and surgery in 3 days ugh have lots of people praying for me..Thanks to you BButterfly..your support and thoughts have reassured me I am not alone.. I decided to go to beach for R&R w/ my daughter..nice but weather not cooperating..but a good distraction..plus my B'day today..
so in the countdown..ugh..not looking forward to this at all..
Your surgery is rapidly approaching, but maybe you could look at it this way: the sooner it comes, the sooner it's over (with less time to dread and worry about it).
Just heard an interview with Gloria Steinem. She had BC and lumpectomy when she was 58--and she's now 81!
Happy birthday, and MANY MORE of them!
So glad to come back on here and hear all of your progress! I am so glad you had an early detection! It saves lives! I am glad you and your sister have each other to lean on in such an unpleasant time. May you both find your recoveries short and bearable. I did want to tell you that one reason I decided on a mastectomy (I did both breasts) was because I didn't want to to the radiation.
It's such a personal choice, and there is NO wrong answer. You have to follow your gut, and do what is right for you!
I will be thinking of you in the coming days. Prayers being sent your way.