*sob sob sob* :( :( :(
I know how hard this must be for you. Whatever decision you make, I know it will be the right one at the right time.
I sympathize with you and know how hard this is. With his recent loss of balance and legs twitching it could be a sign of brain involvement. And his breathing harder may mean his lungs are getting congested. At least he's still cognizant of the fact that you are there with him and he knows you love him. I can't help but say... wait a little longer. I waited and was on my way to the vet's for the final time with my beloved "Big Tom" and with Abba playing in the background he breathed his last breath next to me in the front seat of the car. It was serene and it was surreal. I woulndn't have had it any other way. I felt relieved I didn't have to make that walk into the office. When I got there, the vet met me at the car and pronounced him dead. It was not planned to be that way but it was a beautiful end to a beautiful life. I loved him so very much, more than any other...he was just shy of 17 ♥ My prayers are with you both!
Thank you, Jade, Nancy, and Linda. We made it through last night OK. This morning I was in the shower and heard Fluffy doing this weird yowling. Even though it was 6:30 am (and I live on the 3rd floor of an apartment building), I called to him "It's OK, buddy, you're OK, I'm right here". He actually calmed down and was lying on the rug in the dining area when I came out.
Linda, the story of "Big Tom's" passing was touching; thank you for sharing. You sound like a wonderful "momma". That is how I wish it was possible for Fluffy to go.
I don't want to have to make the decision, and I don't want him to suffer. I'm afraid whatever made him vomit blood must be uncomfortable, and I know that the lump on his face is. Adding any kind of pain med would irritate his stomach more; I know from trying them in the past. The stomach meds are in liquid form, and he has fought taking liquids for his whole life. He fights it and runs and hides from me under the bed.
I will just continue to watch and love him, and wait for that "knowing" that it's the right time to let him go.
Thank you all for helping calm my worries and pain.
In your posts, I 've seen how much you care for Fluffy, and I know how hard that end of life decision can be, having made it with 3 of our kitties.
With Cerridwen, it was easy...I found her at the basement door, looking for a place to hide and die. She'd gone blind, her hair was coming out...massive kidney and liver failure the vet said. Carrie was 15 1/2 when I held her in my lap, with Anita petting her as the vet at the emergency clinic gave the final grace.
Queen Victoria was being treated for a recurrence of a fungal lung infection she'd had as a kitten. The last couple of days I built an oxygen tent for her, bubbling the gas up through some warm water in which I had dissolved some "Vap-O-Rub." She was declining fast, but we wanted to see...the last night she came out from her favorite spot, under the bed in the room were Teia now lives (most of the time) and sat in my lap. It seemed her breathing was easier. After awhile she meowed at me, wanting to get down. She went "back to bed" and we found her in the morning, looking like she was sleeping. Doc said it was a heart attack, but was likely instantaneous, since she looked so peaceful. Victoria was 17 1/2.
Calamity Jane (Vic's sister), she had a minor stroke and was responding well to the treatment, walked a little bent to the side, didn't miss the litter-box, ate well... About 2 weeks after, she had a massive stroke while sitting in Anita's lap a little before I got home from work. We knew it was time. I held her head up while we fed her before the final visit...she was game, but her body betrayed her. Doc Knilans asked us to set her on the floor to see her condition. Very wobbly, but she sat up straight, holding her head high., but she couldn't walk when urged. Doc had to superglue her eyes shut afterwards, as they wouldn't stay closed, ornery beyond the end. Cammie was 21 1/3 years old.
The little buggers get deep in your heart and their pictures hang by the front door, along with those of Tuna Cat and April Dancer. My parents took care of Tuna after I wed and could not take her with me. Dad brought her or the final visit at age 16. Mom said she could tell he cried over having to do this, but Tuna had gotten real sick the last week. Dancer, she died of anaphylactic shock from the mild sedative used during a minor procedure; that one upset us the most of all.
Trust yourself to do what is best for Fluffy.
take care, of him and yourself - Pip
My prayers for you two and wishes of a best end possible, dear!
Take care :-((
The way everyone loves their cats so much here is why I'm so grateful I found this forum a year and a half ago. While there's a lot of education going on most of the time, there's also laughter and of course, many tears at a time like this.
Thinking of you and Fluffy with deep prayers...♥
I pray God gives you and your kitty the strength to deal with this situation. You are such a good mama, and I know you've heard this before. It just saddens me to read what happened to him. My heart goes out to you and Fluffy. Such a beautiful cat. This is so sad...my heart just breaks with every news about Fluffy.
My best friend agreed to meet me at my apartment after my yoga class to go to lunch and visit. I sent her a short video (phone picture mail) of Fluffy meowing at me this morning, and titled it "Fluffy saying good morning to you".
I got home and found her sitting on my couch with Fluffy, and it looked like she had been crying. She's very stoic, but finally admitted that when she had watched the video it had seemed to her like Fluffy was asking her to help him, that he was miserable and crying for help to leave it behind.
She's known him for 11 years, and as a farm girl stopped letting herself get attached cats after a couple of barn cats that she loved got killed on the one road by the farm. Fluffy's gotten to her, broke through all those years of denial of feline affection, lol.
She asked me to not make any decision until she is able to be there with us when he receives his "final grace" (thank you for that perfect phrase, Pip). Her mom turns 90 next weekend and she's involved with planning a large family celebration, her daughter staying with her, as well as work stresses, and doesn't want to deal with the grief of losing Fluffy until after next weekend. Unless, of course, he gets too sick... She really doesn't want him to suffer.....
Jade, I agree with you about this forum; it has been a great source of information, laughs, tears, and joy in meeting other who love their cats and other animals and share their pictures and parts of their lives with us.
Pip, what an amazing and lovely family you've had, and have. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me, with us.
After reading about how your cats lives ended,I started thinking about all the cats I've had in my life. Fluffy is the first one that I had any choice in what happened at the end of their lives.
When I was young, my parents didn't believe in spending money on taking cats to the vet, so the first three died of distemper.
Lucy, my lovely grey tabby, was so horribly sick that my sister, mom, and I were in tears for several days. Dad decided it had gone on too long and took her under the house and shot her; called it giving her the silver bullet treatment.
When my next cat, Kitty, showed first signs of distemper, she received the silver bullet.
Same with J. B., my first male cat.
Gorgeous Mouschi, medium hair tortoiseshell, had her vaccinations and I had for several years. I left with my parents when I left home. I was walking one day and saw her; she came when I called, then headed for her new home and new name. Mom admitted giving her to a nice family.
Le Nez (short-hair calico) disappeared leaving behind a litter of 2 week old kittens.
Daniel Zipper Flannel (Danny) and Whiskey (orange medium hair with raspy voice) I left with ex when I left for college; I found out later that he had moved and left the cats behind to fend for themselves in the woods by house we had lived in.
Silver Belle; left with ex-fiance after he maxed out my credit cards & I moved into place that didn't allow pets. I couldn't maintain contact with that jerk and hoped and prayed that Belle found her way to a good home.
Ginger (Fluffy's mom) was killed by car when Fluffy was 2 (Ginger was 6). I returned home from shopping and saw her in road a half-block away; ran screaming up road. Police officer blocked traffic. Her neck was broken; blood still trickling from mouth.
Fluffy has been indoor cat since, had best vet care I could afford (more than I could afford, truly) and all the love and care he could have ever wanted. It worked both ways; he helped me through tough times and has always given me unconditional love.
Apple, PK, thanks to you also for your prayers and kindness.
I feel so bad for the hard decision you now need to make. I know how hard it is to 'let go'...and to know 'when that time' has come....and all of us here have been at that place at least once in our parenthood.
The last few weeks I had the privilege of being Opus's mommy I would sleep every night by his side listening to his labored breathing I would say a prayer 'please God take him gently in his sleep' so I'd be spared that final decision....that wasn't to be...His last night I lay awake all night talking with him and told him it was time and we both knew it. I phoned my Vet at 8a.m. and asked him to come to our home, he made the event so unstressful for us both.
I will pray for you both, I understand what you are facing and my heart goes out to you. .....God bless