I have had MANY cats the past year.
This is what i do
Leave one in a room and the other in a room so they can sniff each other under the door.
Do that for maybe 3days
Then bring them out slowly....ONLY when your around when your not home put them back.
Rub the male with a towel...like alot to get his scent on it. then rub your femme.
Do this until they start to not hiss atleast....
It worked while introducing my youngest to my two. It also worked wonders introducing my recently passed shanks to my recently passed penny and she was a prissy brat LOL
Just try it, if that dosnt work theres always holding one and petting it letting it get fur on you then holding the other so they smell the other on you. "mommy smells like the boy? hmmm" "daddy smells like the girl? hmmm" :D
hope it helped
Well, for what it's worth, it is very rare for it to take anywhere near that long for cats to get used to each other, or to at least reach a tolerance/ grudging acceptance. In my experience anyway.
It sounds like you are doing pretty much everything right. Like you mentioned, it is very important to give them equal amounts of attention. Jealousy is inevitable, but there is no reason to exacerbate it.
I don't know if you've seen this one, but the following is a link that I have given a few other people, while it doesn't go into great detail, the ideas are good:
A lot of people recommend separating them entirely, for a while at least, and only letting them be together for limited, supervised periods. Personally, I think that this only makes the problem go on longer. Obviously if one cat is getting seriously bullied to the point of physical or emotional damage, then that is a different story (and one you might want to discuss with a vet) but I don't think that's the case here, necessarily. Some hostility is inevitable and even expected. They are acting on instinct, they both understand what is going on between them and they have to work it out.
She's obviously feeling threatened, and it is unfortunately not helping that she has to get used to a new home and a new cat at the same time. Cats just don't like change, even minor change is unwelcome. When she realizes that she is still safe and loved, she will start to settle down. In the meantime, I know it's no fun and I wish I could give you an instant-fix answer, but it just takes patience.
I hope this has been some help. Let us know how it goes, ok?