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600721 tn?1229100572

Please Help! Moved, introduced two cats to each other, mistakes...etc.

My boyfriend and I finally moved in to a place together. We each have an 8 year old cat. Mine is female while his is male. We moved in 5 days ago.

Long story short, she's finally come out from under the bed and is tentatively starting to explore the house. The problem is, every time she sees the male, she hisses, growls, etc. It started out as growling and hissing and eventually, hiding under the bed; but this morning she actually hit him. My boyfriends cat is mellow and has not been aggressive to her in anyway. Now, when he sees her and she puts on her little fit, he runs and hides under the couch. She won't let him come into our bedroom, even when he wants to. She's actually starting to get on my nerves, which is saying something as I am one of her biggest fans. We give both of them equal amounts of attention and don't favor one or the other. Her things are in our room, only because she has had habits of behavioral urination in the past and we didn't want our things ruined because she didn't want to go out to the litter box. We plan on gradually moving her litter box and bowls out of our bedroom and into the kitchen area, which is where his things are now. The only problem is that we don't know when we should start trying to do that with her behaving the way that she is right now.

We really don't know what to do. I was trying to find some answers online but there isn't much there. However, what I have found, we've mostly done already - separate bowls and litter boxes in separate areas. The mistake that we made was not introducing them gradually, apparently. I also read that it can take 8-12 months for things to settle down. But what can we do in the meantime? She's keeping us awake at night.
Any advice is much appreciated.  
2 Responses
534013 tn?1250201049
I have had MANY cats the past year.
This is what i do

Leave one in a room and the other in a room so they can sniff each other under the door.
Do that for maybe 3days
Then bring them out slowly....ONLY when your around when your not home put them back.
Rub the male with a towel...like alot to get his scent on it. then rub your femme.
Do this until they start to not hiss atleast....

It worked while introducing my youngest to my two. It also worked wonders introducing my recently passed shanks to my recently passed penny and she was a prissy brat LOL

Just try it, if that dosnt work theres always holding one and petting it letting it get fur on you then holding the other so they smell the other on you. "mommy smells like the boy? hmmm" "daddy smells like the girl? hmmm" :D

hope it helped
609884 tn?1227329403
Hi Kat,

Well, for what it's worth, it is very rare for it to take anywhere near that long for cats to get used to each other, or to at least reach a tolerance/ grudging acceptance.  In my experience anyway.

It sounds like you are doing pretty much everything right.  Like you mentioned, it is very important to give them equal amounts of attention.  Jealousy is inevitable, but there is no reason to exacerbate it.  

I don't know if you've seen this one, but the following is a link that I have given a few other people, while it doesn't go into great detail, the ideas are good:


A lot of people recommend separating them entirely, for a while at least, and only letting them be together for limited, supervised periods.  Personally, I think that this only makes the problem go on longer.  Obviously if one cat is getting seriously bullied to the point of physical or emotional damage, then that is a different story (and one you might want to discuss with a vet) but I don't think that's the case here, necessarily.  Some hostility is inevitable and even expected.  They are acting on instinct, they both understand what is going on between them and they have to work it out.

She's obviously feeling threatened, and it is unfortunately not helping that she has to get used to a new home and a new cat at the same time.  Cats just don't like change, even minor change is unwelcome.  When she realizes that she is still safe and loved, she will start to settle down.  In the meantime, I know it's no fun and I wish I could give you an instant-fix answer, but it just takes patience.

I hope this has been some help.  Let us know how it goes, ok?


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