help the guilt

[ocean_angel]

We had our 17 year old cat put down this week.  He was very arthritic and in pain, grinding his teeth, blood coming from his mouth, using the entire house as litter box, and had gone deaf and mute in the last couple of months.  We felt it was time to let him go before things got worse, he had a wonderful life with us, and did not deserve to suffer any more.  I had always been told that when the vet uses sedation before euthanasia it is a very peaceful way for the beloved pet to go.  Our experience was not so good.  The first sedation shot had no effect.  Then another was administered, he got groggy and his eyes were all weird, but he still lifted his head and was trying to see what was going on..at this point the vet was saying she could not understand this, she had administered 2x the normal dose for a 60lb dog!  Then we took him to the OR and administered gas mask.  This finally knocked him out so that he could not feel her pinching his toes...by now I was feeling terrible!  Then she administered the first lethal injection and checked for heartbeat - he was still alive.  God, what have I done!!  She explained that sometimes it misses the vein.  The second injection finally took my cat.  But by now, I'm thinking my cat fought hard to stay alive - maybe he was trying to give me the message he did not want to go yet!  I just can't resolve this, I know what is done is done, but can someone tell me why this so-called humane procedure seemed so inhumane???

[mrwjd]

I am so, so sorry.  There are few things we have to do in life that are as heart-rending as putting down a pet, and your experience made it particularly terrible.  I just want to hold you and tell you that he forgives you everything--not that he blamed you in the first place.  You know it was the right thing to do; the way it went down was not your fault.  

I wasn't there, so I don't know anything about it, but if I were you I might be considering getting a new vet.  I can't help thinking that the extra agony to you was unnecessary and would have been avoided if your vet had used a reasonable amount of drug in the first place--if they are trying to get by with half that amount for a 60-lb dog, they must have this happen a lot!  However much they save by skimping, it isn't worth it to force you to endure an experience that will haunt you for quite a while.

These days, vets (maybe not that one!) have an anesthesia box where they put a cat at least a half hour before surgery.  In an enclosed space, cats settle down and, most important, their heart rate goes back to normal.  When the cat is calm and relaxed, they pipe in an anesthetic, so that when they intubate the cat and start an IV for surgery, it is pretty much under already and doesn't get frightened.  (Not only is this more humane, it was devised as a solution to the problem (common in my childhood, more than a century ago  :-P ) that cats, because of a highly sensitive nervous system combined with fear, sometimes died when anesthetized.)    

Last month we had to put down, at three weeks, a kitten born with something involving hydrocephalus and other symptoms, a hereditary condition euphemistically described as "inconsistent with life."  My vet asked permission, which I gave, to observe him for a few days so she was sure, and finally had him examined by a neurologist, all at no expense to me, before putting him down.  When she had confirmed it was unavoidable, she placed him in the pre-anesthesia box and simply over-anesthetized him.  With an adult cat, this method might also require an injection, but the cat wouldn't be aware of it.

If it is any comfort, the law controls the euthanasia drugs vets are allowed to use, so you know the injection itself didn't introduce extra suffering.  You may have read about the very recent U.S. Supreme Court decision denying a claim that lethal injection is cruel and unusual punishment and shouldn't be practiced?  Well, one argument of the lawyers wanting to have execution by lethal injection banned was that the drugs used were significantly less controlled and less humane than the law requires for drugs used to euthanize an animal.

Which is as it should be:  the pet may need it, but he didn't do anything to deserve it, and should have the maximum consideration taken for his comfort.

Write me if you want to.  This will get better.  

  

[Ghilly]

Aww, honey, don't feel guilty.  Even though the sedation didn't appear to work, it wasn't because he was fighting to stay alive.  Sometimes, especially in very old cats, if their circulation is not what it should be the euthanasia solution doesn't circulate around as well or as quickly as it should, and in these cases it takes longer than it normally would.  From the way you described your kitty, he was not enjoying life any more and you helped him from this world so that he didn't suffer any more.  The way the euthanasia solution works is this - the first thing that stops is the brain activity.  After the brain activity stops, the aninmal is clinically dead even though there might still be a heartbeat, because it takes some seconds for the electrical impulses to slow down and for the heart to stop.  So even though there was a heartbeat, at that point your kitty was completely unaware of anything at all that was going on.  What you experienced is not all that rare, and it's for this reason that some vets don't allow the family to be with the animal while it is euthanized, to save them from seeing this.  It's not that the animal suffers, because it doesn't, but it's difficult for the family to watch and they end up doubting orn second guessing themselves, just as you are doing.  Sometimes the animal will paddle with its feet as if it's trying to run, sometimes they even vocalize, which is very bad for the family.  What you need to remember is that all of these actions are involuntary, the animal is completely unaware that it is doing anything.  It's all just the result of the shutting down of the nervous system, and the animal has absolutely no control over its actiona.  You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing.  You helped him from this world so that he would no longer be in pain, which is what our pets depend on us to do.  You gave him a wonderful, long life of love with your family and you helped end his suffering at the end.  It sounds to me like you TOTALLY lived up to your end of the bargain when it comes to being a good pet owner.  My most sincere condolences to you on his passing.  May he live forever in your heart as he waits for you at the Rainbow Bridge.  :::hugs:::

Ghilly