Let it all out. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I have not had surgery yet and I know it is only a matter of time. Waiting is always difficult, you just want it done and over with. I can relate with the husband issues. Most of the time I feel like he doesn't care that I am in constant pain nor does he try to understand what is even wrong. However, I truly believe that inside he is just scared.
We are all here supporting you and I wish you all the best with the upcoming surgery and the anxious waiting period. I hope you find some way to relax and ease the depression. I am sending you calming, healing and relaxing energy :)
Sheila, the men in our lives show us how they care so diff from what we expect...or assume they should be....and I know from experience u can do neither....they will do this diff and I know it affects them as much as it does us....recently my DH clued me in on what was going on while I was in the OR....I had no idea of course...and he never let me know as he felt it would upset me....so they do what they do many times to help us and we think bcuz they r quiet they do not care...that just shows the diff btwn the sexes....
What u r feeling is normal, u had it b4, but it all was put on hold, now it is getting close again, so of course u will feel those same feelings...I am glad ur DH shared with u how he is feeling that will help u thru....
Know we r all there with u if only in spirit : )
Am glad you are venting your worries we are here for you! I know when my dh was scared it made it so much more real. It is a scary thing but you found a great surgeon and have such a wonderful family it will all be good and you will be on road to recovery soon. Praying for you!
I'm a stupid guy as well, We where raised to be the shoulder to cry on, to be tough and stand strong for our families, emotion is not our strong point, Having something out of our control make us feel usless and we don't know how to react. I am NOT excuseing men, When my wife wants to know if i'm in pain she asks. She's a nurse & my wife but I don't want her to no the pain I was in so the answer was always "i'm fine" and i'd give a smile. When my wife tells me what she needs and wants (emotional stuff) it makes it alot easier to comply, no head games. This is how i'm built, & i LOVE my family with all my heart. Hang in there you will be just fine. Surgery is the easy part, your asleep, the best sleep you have had in along time. The recovery pain is no worse than the pain you have conquered before surgery. I hope some of this helps.
P.S. Recovery pain goes away.
Thanks to you all for responding. I just needed to get this out of my system ...lol. My DH is such a sweet, loving and caring man. I didn't mean to portray him in s uch a way a really didn't realize that I did. He was jsut tring not to upset me more. I do feel better knowing that it is normal "guy " behavior though. Thanks for that. Thank you all for listening. I really was just rattling off and I actually forgot that I posted this.
It is wonderful to have such an amazing support family !!! I am so glad that I ran across this forum when I did. I am g rateful for each of you.
You did no such thing in portraying him badly,
Sweetie u didnt write anything bad.dont apologize u just need to share ur thoughts and feelings....and again i tell u its more than normal to feel like that...big hug
Dont you almost wish they would call you the day before and say its time for surgery?! The anxiousness and every emotion flyin thru you is tirin you out honey. Do whatever you can to keep your mind occupied. Before you know it you will be wakin up askin when you c an go home. Lol thats what I did.
I agree u did not portray ur DH in a dim light, to the contrary .....we all used what u said to show u how sometimes men can show their feelings diff, it did not mean nething but to say he was there for u all along.
All u did was express how u were feeling, and that was scared....we all can relate to that....
Hang in there vent when u feel the need and know u r safe in doing so : )
I had surgery nearly 4wks ago after they had cancelled 3 times previous. So i know that feelin, id two smal kids 2 arrange a job i had 2 sort n id recently split from my rock after him admitin he cudnt handle it n the thought of him loosin me scared the crap out of him cus he cudnt do anythin. I told him id *** 7 n half yrs n wasnt ready 2 gi ue up n if anyone knew me wud hav known that - hes los i gues!as wel im nearly 4wks post op n so far so gud. Im jus dyin 2 get my kids bk n wiv theiqdad hufin looks like iue no choice, so tomora im goin home as bin at me moms so i c how i get on. I aw scared as i know im guna push meself n ive gota tel meself not 2. Im stil on morphine n sicky tabs n me left side feelsnumb on meheadstil.
Ops wrong buton.
My ns told me u can wil yaself beta n people hav. Everyone is dif n the key is rest!
Gud luck hun n if u wana chat pm me! Id b hapy 2 give my numba.
Im from birmingham bx the way. Incase u wonderd.
At first I was like"groan, what do I Have to do today" before I have surgery & recover. Then I realized, this was no way to go into surgery; anxiety prevents healing.
So now I'm pretending that I'm on vacation. I still have pets to feed, the litter box to empty, and laundry to do, but I'm pretty sure that everything else will work out. I'm watching lots of comedies and mostly ignoring all the "have tos". (and there are a lot of them)
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, and wanted to say I have come on here lots of times before, during, and after my surgeries and talked to everyone about what was on my mind about everything. This is what is nice about this forum. One of us have been where you are at and we can relate and understand. Always know that is why we are all here to be together on everything. We are Chairians. This forum has helped me in my lowest, most frightening times, and I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Do keep busy and all this will be over before you know it. As someone said above. Recovery is just as painful as you are feeling now, but when you have this pain after surgery just know that each day your getting yourself closer to a more healthier, less pain free day. Your in my prayers.
I am sorry to hear all of that. None of it sounds good =( I hate waiting and especially something like that I am afraid that will be my future too. 4wks around to get my CINE MRI. But I hope things get better for you and I hope that the people around you start being more considerate. I hate that people do that to us chairians it makes me want to strap them to a chair and tape their eyes open with explanation and chairian life stores. Hahaha!! Maybe a little crazy but seriously I mean come on people open your dang eyes. Prayers for you and your family way to be understanding compassionate strong and for a safe surgery and fast great recovery. Take care.