Hi...I had a few years I did not do much due to similar issues you mentioned...but I only had the one surgery that was Chiari related....my decompression was in "09....and recently I have been more active...I still have down time, but I am doing more now there I had since surgery....I no longer drive and I do not hold a job....I am married, so I am not dependant on aging parents as yourself....
Check with the city and township /county you live in as there may be help with care givers that can come into the home to help you with things.....