Oh I swear they are tying to break up my marriage! I am not kidding. My husband and I got in a fight the other day and I fell and hit my head while in the bathroom shortly after and I was crying. Soooo...they wanted to commit me!!!!!! My husband said that is a little extreme! He said he is my husband and should have a say. He said I do not need committed. You guys, I swear to god they made it out to look like I was crazy by making the situation out more than it was and saying I was scaring them....I was crying!!!! That was scaring them???? Wow they better go out there and committ a ton of people then! Lots of people cry!
Go tell them to see a psychiatrist themselves. They seem to have hypochondriac by proxy (probably not real but I wouldn't be surprised if it is). Instead of diagnosing themselving with all sorts of fictional illnesses their doing it to you.
So sorry u r having these family issues, if ur DH knows that they r way off base, then just ignore them...I know that is easier said then done...and just having surgery u r going to be more emotional...it was brain surgery...goodness ...it is sad when those that do not understand make up things they feel more comfortable with instead of dealing with it and learning what it really is.
Vent here and do invite ur DH to pop on here....he will see it is not bi polar to cry when u have this condition.....
And u may want to change ur name on FB to a alias...like on here so they can not bother u and just do not post on ur other page.....that way u can keep in touch with those u want without them interferring.
Thanks! We are beyond upset. There is so much that has happened. While we were gone, well...upon leaving we specifically told my mom that we only needed her to let the dogs out once a day (the morning) and his daughter would do it the rest of the time. We told her we did not want anyone else in our house. We do not feel comfortable with people parading in our home while we are gone w/o our permission, it is our personal area. She agreed she would not do such a thing. Well...while we are gone, the WHOLE family came in and cleaned (not a horrible thing but point is...) and did other work to our house. We did not approve of this. They put the finger toward my son who did not say a word to them about doing it. They said he asked them fi they would do that stuff. They were here every day we were gone. They totally ignored our wishes. Plus we told them NOT to leave the dogs by themselves outside...they'd take off and one would get off the chain. What did they do? They did the opposite and our dogs ran off. One of our dogs almost got killed while we were gone and came within inches of getting hit and traffic is really fast on our street.
They stressed us out so much we came home early for that fact. I could not take not knowing what was going on here. We get called ungrateful and such because we did not want anyone in our home while we were gone. They have done nothing but criticize us and the way our home was. When well...they need to be taking care of their own homes and stop criticizing ours. It was not perfect and we have been working on remodeling and fixing stuff, but it was not good enough for them. They have stopped by since to see if we have messed up what they did and if anythign is out of place. We are at our wits end. They threaten me with lies!!! They are not family if you ask me. Real family would not do what all they have done to us/me. They tell me not to stress out it will make my pain worse and prolong getting well, but they are stressing and they think if I stress over them then well..Bi-polar, of course.
Wow, you defientely don't need all this stress during recovery. As you mentioned above it is you and your DH home and it is a private place. I don't blame you for being upset. I have a loving and caring family and they wanted to do the same for me, but my DH put his foot down and said "NO" he did everything himself while I was gone. I was blessed to have had my surgery close home so others taking care of animals and such didn't have to happen for me, but I feel your flustration, but letting your family know how upsetiing you are might just put more fuel on this fire. I suggest to sit back and worry about YOU right now and get as much rest as you can get. It was very thoughtful of them to do some handy work, but did they even get permission from your DH first.? As I said. Take a deep breath and let some stress out and deal with your healing. Having this trouble on your heart right now will slow your healing time down and you deserve better than this. Wish you well my friend.
All I can suggest if you go out of town again is to find someone else to take care of the dogs and change the locks if you have too to keep the family away. Family can be annoying. I'm glad you have a good DH. I wish I had one. (don't have a DH).
The saddest thing is they did just what u feared they would...u knew them very well...and in knowing u should try and let it go...u can not change them...unfortunately u had to rely on them..ok...u did, and u got just what u expected...not what u wanted...and I am sorry u can not rely on ur family to respect ur wishes...but again, this is something u can not change, like ur chiari dx...it is something u have to accept and learn to live with.
Families that are stressed do not realize just how they project their fears on the rest of the family especially the one they r most concerned for,.....sometimes it is guilt, sometimes just not knowing how to handle it....not an excuse, just a thought.
U deff do not need this, and u may want to ask family and friends that until u recover u wish to have no visitors...this may help lesson the stress going on btwn u and them.
I did this, as I knew it would be awkward to have family come and look at me like I was a monkey in a cage or something, u know how people r,....they go to visit someone in the hospital or sick at home at they talk amoungst each other and ignore the "person" they went to see....I hate that, so I asked that no one come ...and no one did.
I pray u can recover in a more relaxed environment and that u can keep the peace with ur family...as I know u r over taxed at this point.
No my husband didn't. He told him he didn't want them to and they said, you are there and we are there, there is nothing you can do about it. It was awful. Thank you all for the advice and concern. Luckily yesterday I did not have any visitors to see me or our house. My head is killing me and I will get on here later. Feeling sick as usual too. Thanks again and I will definitely take your advice. :) I will try to let it go, as hard as it might be, but I have a feeling they will keep pushing and pushing. I have to wonder how far they will go and wonder who else they are telling this stuff to behind my back. Just like w/the chiari at first...my mom said it is not chari, it is sinuses. She always says that..you probably remember a post from me a long time ago about that whole thing. Love you all! <3 Thanks so much for being here for me and for each other!
You need a stress reliever because the stress only makes chiari symptoms worse. My recommendation have your husband and you go out to a romantic dinner or have one at home. Just don't forget to change those locks if the family has a copy.
I do remember, and all u can do is distance urself right now...u need to heal and u do not need all this xtra crap....
Rest, rest and then rest some more <3
A good friend of mine was an ee. While working for a large Automotive Firm in the engineering dept. he learned a saying to live by. "You just can't make them know what they don't know" referring of course to other employee's.
However, he shared that with me to help me deal with my own family.
It is true, they can't see what's going on inside of us. And as much as it can rub us the wrong way.... well ok that's not even close to strong enough words in this case... but bottom line is 'they just don't get it'. No doubt, they will in time. But until then... Please, do yourself a favor. Put it way back on the back burner, clear back there where the cob webs reside. Don't allow yourself to deal with this right now. It's not just that you don't need this right now. No, it's that 'YOU' CAN NOT deal with this right now. Your body is in a state of trauma. The stress of this can literally tear you apart right now... give yourself the time you need to get stronger. Be it months, years whatever- It doesn't really matter how long it takes as if you don't take that time now you won't heal. As for them, when the thoughts come back as they will no matter how hard you try.. remember, they don't know. Like the engineer, he thought he knew how, but that is why the dashboards he designed burned up.
It really is take care of you time. And this isn't pampering- if you want any quality of life - it's a must.