hope.........

[Sexybare]

just wanted to let everyone know that i pray we are all having a good day today. hugs and love to my whole chiarian family......Dana

[linnielou232]

I know some of us woman are set in our ways.  I know I have been.  Since surgery though I have come a long way in realizing things can still get done around the house with out my help.  When I was in the hospital my DH did everything for me and to my surprise.  Everything was done around he house when I got home.  Wish you the best Sexybare, and as my mother-in-law told me 20 yrs into our marriage it was one thing she taught all of her son's and that is where the wash machine was and how to cook. LOL.. Best of luck my dear friend.  Oh also wanted to compliment on how I like the set up with the comunity instead of a forum.  Sees more fitting since we all feel as family here.
Linda :)

[auntij2746]

My heart goes out to all single moms out there who are going this w/o a constant companion; ie. dh or dbf to help them.  I have always been a "doer" and I need to be really careful to not take on projects and then expect my DH to finish them for me :(  This is a real learning curve for me and I have had to really prioritize what I do.  The hardest part for me is that I may feel ok, start to do something, and then start paying for it with pain.  I am grateful and fortunate to have a DH who is willing to help if I just tell him what is difficult.  I am now trying to identify what things I really need him to do ; i.e. clothes from washer to dryer - empty dishwasher, reach to top shelf for something and what things I can still easily do.  I found this week that making the bed is easy for me because the bed is tall and I am short so I dont' have to bend so much!  I know he will have to do so much more if/when I have the surgery and I am also so blessed to have this dx now that my kids are grown and out of the house.  What I miss the very most is the amount of activity I have enjoyed with my grandkids, that has changed drastically in the past 6 months.

[Viva001]

I hear ya!
That's why I made a list & put it on the fridge.  I can't even talk about the chores, otherwise I get angry, so I just point to the list.  The longer he ignores the list, the longer he's on litter box duty (snicker).

My son can do everything; I was determined not to perpetuate another helpless male (or female) in the world.

[selmaS]

  Just saying they have diff priorities....and do things according to those...we see them diff then they do, most of them neway....my DH was diff when we were married, he had to wipe the shower stall down after each shower he took, then it stopped...they know, just what is more important for them to do with their time..at the time.....

[Sexybare]

So your all tellin me that he only cleans the inside of toilet and top. Because he's a man, and they aren't wired right, bah. My bro likes things spotless. He cleans my house when he pet sits, its awesome lol. He will even do my laundry if its layin there. I don't get it......

[irislita]

I agree with selma and lisa.man just dont get it sometimes as strange as it sounds.their pattern of thinking is sooo different and they dont see things until u tell them.i just had a really close friend here this weekend.we were venting about this a lot and we agreed its not because men dont want to help or understand...they just cant.....its frustrating at times,but believe me when we explode with our thoughts they wont believe what we ve just said...the most fundamental thing in a relationship is talk talk talk....big hugs my dear

[linnielou232]

I realized when my kids were little A LONG time ago LOL... I thought I was wonder woman and never thought my DH wanted to help.  It was the other way around.  I never thought to ask because I thought I could do it all myself.  As Selma suggested make a chart.  You might be surprised at all he can do.  As you mentioned he is a grown man.  We sometimes have to realize having Chairi is is O.K. to let them know we need to help.  Men just don't understand like woman do what needs to be done.  Wish you the best, but as my DH once helped me understand silence is not always golden.  Ask and you will receive.  Hope you have a more relaxing day tomorrow.  Best of rest. Linda :)

[selmaS]

  The problem with all that, not talking to him and all is u r in pain....make a chart of what needs to be done and when, many times a man just does not see the need the same way we do, and they will do it, and more on our time table if we make one.....

Give that a try...and u rest up <3

[Sexybare]

Actually I'm not havin a good day. Headache.  I cleaned bathroom today ugh. Want house spotless before I leave. I've really been overdoing it. Haven't said many words to the bf because he's not much help. I'm really losing my patience with him. He's a grown man, I shouldn't have to explain to him what and when to clean, right. I mean he lives in this house to. I'm fed up, so I refuse to talk to him. Npw again I am suffering for the things I've done. But karmas a *****, he will get his. Love ya all...Dana

[drewlevas]

I'm sending you a big ((((HUG))))

[irislita]

aaaawwwww u r soooo sweet.i pray u having a great day and the other family members :-))

[selmaS]

  right back @ u Dana : )

[cash242]

That is what this group is hope.....may you also have a great day!