4 year old starting to cry when going to school

[RLTContreras]

My 4 1/2 year old has been going to the same school for 2 1/2 years 3 days a week and to my mother's 2 days a week.  She loves school and she loves being with my mother.  But for the last 4 weeks she cries and calls out for me when I drop her off at either place.  I've tried consoling her, hugging, kissing etc..  I've tried being stern with her.  I've asked her why she cries and she says she doesn't know.  She's fine on the drive over and we've talked about it then as well.  But as soon as we arrive and she gets into the school or Granny's house, she clings on to me and then begins to cry.  She won't let go - my mother has to physically take her from me and at school I have to give her to the administrator so she won't upset the other children in the classroom.  Her teacher tells me she always has a good day, never goes to time out and has lots of friends.  She is happy and energetic when I pick her up. This began after she spent a week of vacation at home with her Daddy and sister (while I still had to work).  But it has now been at least 4 weeks and I'm very frustrated.  Both the school and my mother tell me she stops as soon as I leave so I suspect it has something to do with me - I just don't know how to handle it.  She did this to her Daddy as well when he had taken her to the doctor in the morning and then dropped her at my mother's.  At first I was really sad but now I just get frustrated.  If there were problems at school or at my mother's, I could face that, but there aren't any.  I feel like I'm looking into an abyss and I'm so worried that she feels the same.

[DimeDivaCamille050708]

My 4 year old son has been going to pre-k since September of last year. He goes to the afternoon class Monday through Thursday and he seems to like school a lot. There has been times where he would enter the classroom, take off his coat and not even look back at me to say bye. Now all of a sudden, a couple days before winter break, he's been crying and clinging on to me the minute we enter the classroom. He had his first day back yesterday and his Father took him. He called me saying that my son was crying so bad that he could hear him half way down the hallway. He started to go back to get him, but I told him to let him stay and that he'll be fine. About thirty minutes later I called the school to see how he was doing and the teacher said that he was doing fine. He was playing with the other children. His father said when he went to picked him up that he was fine. Now today he had to go to school, but I don't bother to take him. It hasn't been that long but it frustrating already. I've tried the talk to my son about the problem, but he doesn't give an answer. His teacher says that he's active, he doesn't give her any problems and is a joy to have in class. All the children like him. I just don't understand what's going on with him. It is a constant worry when you don't know how to solve your child's problem. Should I just home school him until kindergarten or let him get over this?        

[jdtm]

What you are seeing here is separation anxiety.  I might suggest googling terms as "easing school jitters" or "school anxiety" or "separation anxiety in young children" or similar phrases to get an idea of how to better help your daughter.  I, too, think this will pass - but anxiety can be a difficult issue - sometimes it takes days to overcome, sometimes it takes week or months to overcome, and sometimes it takes years to overcome.  By the way, I do not think it will take "years" for your daughter to learn how to cope and manage her fears.  From your description, this does not appear to be a very serious case.  Anxiety is often the most noticeable after a holiday - summer vacation, Christmas, Easter, long week-ends and even ordinary week-ends.  Hope this helps ...