How do i know if my son has ADHD?

[lizzy336]

my son is 3 years old and is very active, i cant even go to the shop with him then he wants to do his own thing, and dont listen to a word i say. at home i punish him, but he looks me in the eye and does it again.  The pre school is also complaining about him, because he does not listen to the teachers and he does not sit stil when they read stories and sing songs.  I struggle with potty training, he knows what everything means but he refuses to go to the toilet.  I dont want to leave the house with him anymore, because it is very stressfull just thinking what he will do next. i really want to spend time with him, to go bike riding but cant even do that , he does not listen and drive away from me that i must run after him before he drives infront of a car. i cant read to him , he grab the book out of my hand and tear out the pages. i am exausted and dont know what to do anymore. please help

[Sandman2]

    I hear you.  I don't think we took our son anywhere with us when he was in the two to three year old range - unless he was in a harness.  He just loved to motor.  Of course, he did wind up being a very good track athlete and did not have ADHD.  
   Kind of curious about his preschool.  They should be used to this.  Do you know if he is one of the youngest kids in his group?
   I am so glad that you read to him.  At his age the books should be short and very colorful.  Get him all snuggled in bed with the covers over him (and his arms) and give him a big teddy bear to hug while reading.  He grabs the book - the bear goes.
   I would also find a big open playground where you can run the heck out of him.  Take a ball with you.  You may have to chase him down a few times. Or pay a teenager to run after him.  But wear him out!
   And specialmoms ideas are all good - so definitely do those.  Hope this helps too.  Best wishes.

[specialmom]

Oh goodness, sorry it is so rough.  Three year olds are challenging, for sure.  Four is tough too but at five, it does get a bit easier.  Hang in there.

What types of things do you do when he isn't following rules? What is your discipline style??

I would suggest the difficult child's best friend . . . choices.  When you offer lots of choices, often a child is more likely to comply.  such as, sitting in circle time at preschool (since you mention this).  The teacher can say "you can sit on your square next to Mary, OR you can sit next to me OR you can pull up a chair alongside the group.  Which do you want to do?"  It gives him control within the confines of what the teacher is okay with.  

I am not sure what is at the root of things with your son.  If it is the normal pushing of boundaries that three year olds do.  However, he is drawing the concern of his teachers besides just you.  That means it could be something more.  Still may be within normal but being open to something going on underneath the surface is helpful.  

My own son has sensory integration disorder which is very similar looking to adhd and was diagnosed at 4.  We see an occupational therapist and it made all the difference in the world.

Add/adhd should only be diagnosed by a pediatric psychologist or developmental specialist.  But he is still quite young for that diagnosis.  

Google sensory processing disorder (SPD is a great web site) to see if anything fits.  If it does, please let me know.  I've been learning all I can about helping kids with this and am happy to try to help.  luck and peace