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10 year old daughter is rude at home, school and to other adults

I need some advise or to know that others are going through this with me. I feel like I am the only one in our school with a rude child. My 10 year old daughter was a perfect child until the age of 6. I had no problems with her as a baby or anything. I did spend a lot of time with her brother that was difficult with ADHD during that time but she was loving and was always with her mommy and daddy and was extremely happy. Ever since Kindergarten she was been sent to the saferoom/recovery room at school for not following directions. Every year it seems as if by the end of the year the teacher cannot stand her. I am very involved at school and this absolutly kills me to see her struggling. My husband and I are highschool sweethearts (been together 15 years) we take the kids to extravagant vacations and travel everywhere with all the sports they play. Both of our parents are very involved with their life and it seems like they should be as happy as can be. Thats not the case! My now 10 year old is very controlling, she likes to play with younger kids because she can boss them around she is always the one making the rules if someone dares to come over and stay the night. She has lost all of her friends.My own sister will not let her daughter play with her because she is rude and bossy rolls her eyes. She sits in the front of the classroom mocks the teacher, will not follow directions. She sasses everyone. I have talked to her and she is remorsefull for her actions and does not like being grounded and can be a very sweet girl but she will not follow directions!!!! I am very strong headed and I no that as an adult she will be ok, but how can I get her under control so that kids will like her and that teachers and coaches can tolerate her. This may seem like it is not a big deal but she has lost every friend, teacher and or coach.
4 Responses
189897 tn?1441130118
Did she have the same problems last year?  Simple question, but very important!
Avatar universal
Yes -- She is now in the 4th Grade and it is only getting worse. She has ruined pretty much any relationship she has with anyone. I just had a talk with her coach tonight telling me how talented she is and her attitude will hold her back.
Avatar universal
She is always talking back. I always am reminding her to smile. I sometimes wonder where my little happy go lucky went. She has a great life, I am not sure what she could possibly be so unhappy about. My husband i am spend time with the kids together, one on one, etc. I am just losing my mind and turning into a yeller. I don't know what else to do or say to her.
189897 tn?1441130118
   Ok, reason for my first question was to see if there had been any life changes that happened recently.  I am very glad to see that is not the problem.
   You said, "I am not sure what she could possibly be so unhappy about?"  I don't think she is unhappy.  I have the feeling that she likes to control her world and has found a way to do so.  She is probably pretty intelligent, and is using it to her advantage.  The really important question is why is she doing this?  
    Well, her brother has ADHD. It is genetic.  That could explain her being, "sent to the saferoom/recovery room at school for not following directions. Every year it seems as if by the end of the year the teacher cannot stand her".  Girls really tend to get overlooked in school because the boys are just some much more hyper.
    If I had ADHD, I would probably want to control my environment any way I could.  And this could be what she is doing.  Typically, if you have intelligence -about 4th grade the subject matter begans to catch up with you.  Have her grades began to drop this year.  Especially in math?
   So what do you do.  First, you got to find out what is going on.  If her grades are starting to drop.  If she is spending more and more time on homework.  If she is appearing more and more frustrated.  Then it is probably time to request testing to see if she has ADHD.    Frankly the reason for this is because you deal with a kid with ADHD very differently than a child without.  Both kids require a great deal of consistency.  If she has ADD or ADHD, then I recommend you get,  "The ADD/ ADhD Answer book." , by Susan Ashley.If she doesn't have it and is just interested in shaping the world to her taste, then I would suggest, a copy of Lynn Clarks' book SOS: Help for Parents.   Please post if you have any other questions.
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189897 tn?1441130118
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