10 year old lacks motivation

[kelly]

My 10 year old son lacks motivation. He is very smart but I have to constantly remind him to do things and he does not pay attention well. His grades are slacking because he forgets to write down his homework. He does not like any outside activities and does not enjoy anything really except nintendo, television, pokeman, eating and his cat. He is not overweight but is a little chunky stricktly from lack of exercise. He is 4'10" and weighs 103. However, when the church has an activity, like going camping, he does not want to participate. His friends make fun of him but he doesn't seem to care. I'm not sure what to do. My mother has a major case of depression and has been on some form of anti-depression for years. I have a mild case of depression and take prozac. Do you think he might need to be on medication. Please give me some quidance as to where to go from here. Thanks so much!

[Kathy]

I have a 10 year old boy in my home who is also not motivated by anything unless it is playing with stuffed animals, watching TV (mostly cartoons) or playing with young children.  He is having extreme difficulties with learning in school and is disliked by both girls and boys his age.  The older kids in the neighborhood have asked if he was "retarded" and I have had adults approach me with questions about whether or not he is "right".  He has been caught lying (many, many times) and stealing.  He seems to be in a make believe world and unless he is being yelled at by his father or spanked, he doesn't seem to care about correcting his behavior.  I feel my hands are tied because his father feels that as long as his son is seeing a counselor, things will get better.  He speaks as if he's 5 years old and we have had problems with hygiene issues.  He really doesn't seem to care about learning or correcting his behavior.  I'm exhausted from observing his behavior and he has a jeckyl and hyde personality.  Share your thoughts with me, please.

[shelly]

I have a 10 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 4.  He has not been on his ritalin for the past two months because I was concerned that it was affecting his sociability.  He said it made him "shy" and that doesn't fly well with 10year old boys.  I guess he lacks motivation as well.  He loves to be active and plays all kinds of sports but when it comes to the "friend" thing he doesn't seem to care either.  He complains sometimes that he doesn't have friends, but he doesn't seem motivated to do anything about it.  Rather, he tends to say that he just doesn't like the boys at school because of one reason or another.  He also shys away from experiences where there will be other kids he doesn't know.  I am not sure what to do either.  I don't want to make a big deal of it because maybe he is just socially immature and in time he will be more motivated to get involved with other kids his own age.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Kelly,

With your son's symptoms and the strong family history of depression, he very likely is manifesting depressive disorder. Such absence of motivation and lack of interest in peer relationships is not at all typical for a ten-year-old. An additional possibility (which can occur alongside depresion) is that he displays an inattentive form of Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

It would make sense to have him assessed by a child mental health professional. The diagnosis can be clarified and, if pertinent, medication and other interventions can be planned.