boys do this more than girls
i had an iccident a few weeks when my five yr old wet the bed everynight for 3 weeks solid, i found out it was because he was coming down with chicken pox, and we thought he was being lazy,
he will grow out of it, i potty trained my son in 3 days he was out of nappies in 3 days, he wll have accidents, it can be because:
stress, arguements in the house
or pure accident
dont yell he will sort this in time
From a guys point of view. I'm raising 4 boys the oldest 13, 6 and twin 3 year olds. My 6 year old is a bedwetter, but I also know that he is a diaper lover. Basically that means he loves being in diapers/goodnites. My brother the 13 year old is the same way. That could be what is wrong with ur son. He could be a diaper lover, maybe he just doesn't want to grow up which is the reason my 13 year old still likes diapers. It also has to do with being lazy. Ur son is old enough to know what he's doing. If he's not mentally ill, then he knows. I would stop buying him diapers and stuff and make him clean up the messes. His bed, his clothes etc. It sounds harsh, but it worked for my brother. Does ur son do this when ur in public? Or around friends and family?
We do have him clean up when he has an accident ever since he was four he has been washing himself bc we dont want to do it as we think too he needs to learn. This is not just night time its 24/7 he pees and poops every hour in his pants and will sit in it or play in it until I smell somthing and tell him to change. We took him to play with friends all the time in underwear and when I pick him up its so embarrassing he has a wet spot all in the front...so now he has to wear pullups when he goes to friends. I try to keep him in underwear but its hard espessially when we go to do something like movies, road trip, biking ext.. I have to put him in a pull up or we would have him peeing all over the place or pooping. When we are at home or going to the store really quick I'll make hime wear underwear and make him go potty when we arrive at a place but by the time we get back home I smell him and he has had a accident....just dont know what to do!! He poops and pees everywhere..If I didnt use the pullup his urine and BM would go threw his clothes and get on furniture, carpets, seat ext... when he plays or we go in the car. My husband thinks he is using the pullup as a security blanket...We try at every moment we get to potty train and use underwear..
Maybe u should have him tested. Some kids can't control their bodily functions. Also, this is kind of personal but has he ever been abused in anyway? Kids who have tend to mess in their underwear all the time.
I feel your pain...My eight year old daughter has the same issues except for peeing in her pants. That for some strange reason has never been a problem. We've been through the same testing, however,not as in depth as you have gone. She was finally diagnosed with a condition called Encopresis which is basically the act of soiling one's pants. There are a whole host of emotional issues that go along with it. We participated in some therapy early this summer and she has actually been improving. We do reward charts and notice that when we slack off on updating the charts, she starts slacking off also and has more "accidents" We call it the sneaky poop problem. I think its part laziness, not wanting to miss something, attention seeking although she gets much more attention than anyone else in family and not wanting to grow up. She does clean her own soiled pants...we have a special bucket in our bathroom. The therapist encouraged us to attack the issue from a responsibility perspective. We're trying everything we can think of. Lately she has been more agreeable to sitting on the toilet to "giver her body a chance" to poop as long as she can play her DS video game. We always have to prompt her, she will not make the decision to go on her own. I still question wether or not she gets a "feeling" to go or not. She used to hold stools for a long time and therefor stretched out all the muscles and therefor her body doesn't give her any sensation that she needs to go. At one point she was on upto 6 squares of exlax a day. I was so hopeful that we would have this resolved this summer, but I guess I'll continue to pack extra clothes, wipes and panties in her back pack this year. I do also find that she responds to my husband better than me. He's pretty straight forward with her and she knows how to push my buttons...I get so frustrated. I feel sorry for my six year old who now is very aware of all the rewards her sister gets that she doesn't. I try to reward her for other positive behavioral issues, but honestly this kid is fine and has no issues...very well behaved and independent. She wanted to be rewarded the same as her sister, so now we make a big deal when she poops in the toilet which is every time. I'm getting ready to call the therapist back again..Sorry if this was discouraging, but at least you know your not alone. There are others out there dealing with the same issue. That's how I found out about this site...I was feeling like we were the only ones.
I know for you this seems bad. But their are people out there that just prefer nappies. I am one of them. I have prefered to use a nappy for pooping and peeing all my life. Yes I do use the toilet as well though. I'm not sick as far as I know in anyway. I was just born this way. I did not ask for it. I mean who would. It's just the way I'm wired so to speak. I spent many years thinking I was sick in the head or ill. But the truth is I'm not. Was not until I got the internet that I found I was not the only one out there. There are tens of thousands of us. More male than female as far as I can find out though. It was one of the best days of my life to find this out. A huge weight was lifted from me. And I'm now a much better person and understand what's going on.
As to making them wear pants. It's a waste of your time and in a way a bit cruel for your kid. There are a lot worse problems out there such as autism or spinabifida etc they could of had. You might in the end get further with giving them the choice as to what they want to do. Society always is telling us we all have to be the same. To conform. The truth is we aren't or ever will be the same.
Look here on the net you will find lots of sites about diaper lovers some are better than others. But I think you will get more answers than anywhere else.
was so happy to see your post. I am in the same boat with my 8 year old son. At 3 years old he was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. He under went years of therapy for that. Initially his refusal to train was blamed on the anxiety. Thoughts were it was the only thing he could control so that's why he refused. His anxiety is now well controlled, but he still won't train. He has no interest in it and does not care when he's wet or soiled. He will clean himself up and then go right back to what he's doing. For school he wears incontinence underpants so he won't make a mess. He, like your son, has under gone every test out there. We've worked with pediatricians, urologists, psychologists, and even a hypnotist. Evetyone says he is phtsically healthy and that he hust has to make the decision to use the toilet. If you ever find a solution for your son, please share. At 8, my son has never used a toilet.
My son is 10 and refuses to poop on the toilet. He would much rather sit in his poop all day. My house stinks like poop so bad. I ha e shampooed everything. Wash his clothes no less than 12 times before drying then. He point blank tells me he is just lazy and doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go poop. He refuses to shower. He sat da at the bathroom door to see. Its like he is scared of the bathroom. He poops on himself at school and laughs about it. He will scratch his butt or balls then wipe his poop covered hands on me and laugh. I'm at my end with him. He just doesn't care.
I don't know the answer but I can share my experience. My son had a similar problem. When he would defecate, it was often small pebble type or very smelly smears. He always had a wet spot in front as he also couldn't hold his urine. It was a constant issue as he seemed like he wasn't even aware he was doing it and would get so absorbed in what he was doing(or because it was all the time) would even notice the smell until I had him change it. It wasn't disciplinary, he does have adhd, and is on the spectrum (not very noticeable though), but these weren't reasons for this. Years of "he'll grow our of it", bouts of constipation, back and forth to the doctors and I was at my wit's end. One day an xray showed his bowels completely full, so much that it looked like he had a mass. He was impacted severely and it was due to some food sensitivities and a slow moving bowel. The mass was constantly trying to push out little by little and his muscles were so taxed he could hardly feel it much less stop it. This was why he took no notice and messed himself all of the time. At the same time it was putting a lot of pressure on his bladder and that made him unable to hold his urine. We found a great gastrointestinal specialist who told us this was a fairly common problem for children, she explained that not every food allergy and intolerance presents the same way and that some can actually slow the digestive system down. The high fiber diet we had been told to have him on had done nothing, in fact it had made it worse as fiber was not the issue and only taking more water. She had us cut out all of the contstipating foods, pectin, dairy, we served less rice, and we took him completely off of gluten. I made lots of soups and increased fruits (except bananas). This change was not to be permanent but it certainly took care of the problem for us as well as helped his attention problems greatly (not a cure mind you, but a great help). He is older now, no longer has that issue and still has to keep his gluten and dairy consumption to a reasonable degree or he feels the effects of it but it isn't a difficult thing to do. This may not have anything to do with what is happening with your son but I thought I would put it out there. It certainly made all of the difference for us and was such a dime fix that I amazed it took so many years for us to find it.