10 yr old sexual behavior/hitting puberty

[Hezitate]

My concerns are that my son is showing signs of starting puberty and has begun exploring and has been suspended from school because of inappropriate behavior as his mother how do I go about talking to him. His father is around but is unreliable and does not take interest in talking to him about important topics like this.

[AnnieBrooke]

I am a little puzzled by you equating hitting puberty and doing something inappropriate.  A lot of kids at age 10 or up, are feeling the increase in hormones, without doing something inappropriate enough to get suspended from school.  In fact, a lot of kids never do anything inappropriate even when their hormones are acting up, they know how they are supposed to behave in public (and school).  So what is the deal that he acted out?  That is the trail I would be following as the mom.  Why didn't he know what was the right way to behave in school?  I wouldn't ask his father to talk to the son about hormones, I'd ask him to talk to him about public behavior.

[shannonmedrano123]

Talk to him about his behaviour.  What I tell my sons is that there is nothing wrong with being interested in sex.  Its normal.  There is nothing wrong with masturbation and obviously they will be doing it.  However, they must be discreet about it and of course it is private.  Just tell your son its innapropriate to do sexual things to others at his age, and especially without permission.  My husband is a dud too, dont worry, just be the kind of mom he can go to and dont make it weird for him.  Act like its a normal, kind of unimportant thing you are talking about.  Be casual.  He will get used to you bringing that stuff up as time goes on and wont feel uncomfortable unless you make a big deal about it.  Just let him know the involving others thing has to stop...and please dont make him feel that sex is dirty.  Its a normal thing.  Good luck!

[Parent_helper101]

The puberty part is perfectly natural most kids go through it age 10-13. And also it depends on what his behavior is exactly at school.talk to him. Mabby go to a therapist with him so you can find out if something is wrong. Hope all the best

[Sandman2]

My own experience as an elementary school teacher/principal is that you need more information if you really want to effectively deal with this.  

I have seen kids suspended for pulling down the pants of a friend - ya, you can't do that.  But, its no where near as bad as some of the other things.

So, you do need to know what this behavior was and where it happened.  Also, he is at an age where some kind of a consequence at home would be appropriate - but nothing really harsh.  But, here again, I don't know what he did.

Kids of this age will explore.  They need to know what they can and cannot do.  Sometimes the best way to deal with this is," wow, it must have been really embarrassing to get expelled."  How can we prevent that from happening again?

But, I also would talk with his teacher and get a clear view of what is going on.  Does he do things without thinking, etc.

So, I really don't have the info to help you.  This could be a really serious thing, or a one time only thing, or a symptom of something like ADHD where kids do things without thinking.

If you want to share more, I would be glad to try and help.  Feel free to message me if you don't want to get too public.

But, my one main advice is to make sure that you know what happened by talking with both the principal and his teacher.  Best wishes.

[Yumarocker]

Before you talk to his teacher/principal, etc. Talk to your son. If he tells you the truth, and you should trust him to tell the truth until you find out otherwise, you should try to deal with it, within your family. You should also tell the father that his son needs his guidance. If his dad won't or can't be there for him, you will need to seek the help of another male, that your son respects. An uncle, Grandfather, or close family friend. Tell your husband this is what you will do, if he doesn't deal with it. I do agree with sandman2, in that without knowing the severity of the act in question, it's hard to give advice, so I am assuming that it was a moderately serious sexual, embarrassing, or humiliating offense. If it something that would be considered predatory or a crime, had he been an adult, you should seek immediate professional counseling for your son. Prayers for your family.